Like Swiss Cheese! Only grayer.

May 14, 2008 | bitterness, random randomness

I’m losing it.

WHY did it take my husband to finally clue me in to my idiotic thinking about daycare? He didn’t read the post, but he did alert me to my quickly atrophying noggin when he alerted me to the fact that schools aren’t out yet, which is why all of those children of teachers are still in daycare.

Honestly, I kind of thought it was mid-July or so. I realize that would mean I’m back at work and that that makes no sense, but … well, instead of mocking me, let’s just pray that all of English beef I ate in April 1996 hasn’t come back to haunt me/eat away my gray matter. No really. The FIRST newscast I saw when I returned from this particular stay in europe (and a couple weeks in England) was breaking news about mad cow disease. I’ve got it. Scouts honor.

So yeah. I have mad cow’s disease probably. But more importantly, I don’t have effing daycare lined up yet and instead of freaking out about it more tonight, I’m going to go to bed.

You know how sometimes…

The Office, bitterness, family

I’m a big asshat who procrastinates and waits until May 13 to start calling around for childcare and DOH Stacy, places are filled up so now I’m screwing the giant pooch? Yeah.

Directors are laughing at me (LAUGHING!)(AT ME!) (DON’T THEY KNOW I HAVE DOUCHE CARDS I WILL SEND THEM FOR THEIR MOCKERY???) for looking so late in the game…

but but

here’s my (erroneous) thought process: teachers have the summers off, so they probably took their kids out of daycare, so their spots are wide open for the taking. Um, flawed, wishful thinking.

Call me (and yes, I have my hand in the “phone”/call me” shape) if you wanna come watch the Nugget & Jojo. You do, right? Good. Starting June 2! You can eat all the hummus and teddy grahams (not together. unless that’s your thing. I don’t judge.) you can fit in your tummy.

Tell me I’m gross.

May 12, 2008 | Me, random randomness

Does anyone else ever make a 1/2 dozen chocolate chip cookies, then slide them off the hot pan into a bowl, pour milk over the cookies and eat them with a spoon? 6 cookies. 6 fatty cookies.

I feel kinda yucky.

I’m Confused. Please help.

random randomness

When the flag on the mailbox is up, does that mean

a. your mail has arrived OR
b. you have mail that you need the mail carrier to take with them/mail for you?

I always thought flag up meant (b), but after seeing a couple of scenarios on tv where the mail is delivered and then the flag is raised, I’m seriously confused. Also, in one of Jojo’s books, Biscuit the dog receives a Valentine’s card in a mailbox with a raised flag.

What’s going on here? Is this a regional thing? We don’t even have a box with a flag — our mail carrier walks and puts it in the placed-too-high-on-the-door-frame box that I have to reach up, over and into and holy shitballs once there was like a moth or bird in there and it all fluttered around and almost bit me/gave me rabies/killed me and I think I might have peeeed a little bit.

Please help me. On any of the issues displayed here.
======

UPDATE: Ok, it’s clear from your responses that B is correct, which I always thought. But now that you have read my mystery, you’ll see it on tv commercials or in kids books. You’ll see that when they pick up their mail from their mailbox, the flag is up, as if the mail carrier was alerting them that mail was there. Seriously. Go forth and see this craziness.

And of course

May 11, 2008 | holidays

Happy Mother’s Day. I planned a ginormous, lovie-dovie post to all the moms I know and love but my day got away from me what with all the pancake breakfasts and kisses and hugs and spitups and feedings and trips to Toys R Us then return trips to Toys R Us (oh yes, there’s a story there) and what not. For now, I have to put away three huge laundry baskets full of clean clothes or else I’ll spend tomorrow searching the baskets for what I need.

LOVE and HUGS and much appreciation goes out to all of you wonderful moms.
Love,
Mrs. Squirrel

Overachiever

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Average is 8%.

Created by OnePlusYou

Contest 5 Winner!

Baby Making, Me, holidays

Well, you guys crapped the bed on that one. Seriously, do you really think I’d want to be named Jinger or were you trying to be funny?

If I were a Duggar girl, for the best name and family position, I’d want to be Jennifer. She’s currently the baby and doesn’t have to cook for the entire family or babysit. Score. Not a one of you picked it. Snap!

If I were a Duggar boy, I’d want to be Josh. Or James. I really couldn’t decide, but that’s ok because Audrey (!) chose Joshua James. I’m not sure I’d go for the that combo (my LANDS people, give the poor little letter J a break)!

We don’t need the tie-breaker this time, but you guys all underguessed The Nugget’s 2 month weight! He’s a hefty 14lb, 6oz — 95th percentile. You should seeee the thighs. Oh they’re munchable.

Congrats AUDREY for your big win! I hope you all enjoyed the Mother’s Day Mother of All Holiday Contestaganza … there may be just one more in my pocket. Stay tuned!

Who’s Going to

May 9, 2008 | holidays, random randomness, The Nugget

Turn this Mother Out and win today’s prize in my big ass Mother of All Holidays Contestganza?

So far, SJ, My Buddy Mimi, Michelle Z, Liza and Mrs. CPA have won fabulous prizes which sit atop my dining room table, mocking Jojo with their not-for-himedness.

At some point during this Mother’s Day themed week of mine, I should probably post something thoughtful and nice, eh? It’s not going to be today. Sorry. Jojo should be risin’ from his nap soon, and I need to get some non-bloggy things done before then. This quiz will be short and sweet and most certainly easier than yesterday’s…

Thanks to Duggar WannaBe Nic — or should I call you Jic?, I’ve been alerted that the red OCCUPIED light, again, flashes over Mrs. Duggar’s uterus.

CONTEST QUESTIONS:
1. If I were a Duggar, which girl name would I want (see list…and play Name That Duggar, which hello, is tough but I can’t get enough of them telling me “No Tater Tot Casserole for you!”)?
2. If I were a boy and a Duggar, which name would I want?

TIE BREAKING QUESTION: If you’re at Marshall’s this weekend and see these in a size 8, will you buy them for me? PLEASE? They are out of my size in the two Marshall’s around here.

Oh wait, the real bonus question is: How much did The Nugget weigh at his 2 month check-up yesterday (FYI, Jojo weighed 12lb, 14 oz at his 2 month appt)?

For those of you who don’t check the internet over the weekend, Happy Weekend and/or Happy Mother’s Day. Otherwise, the games continue here at HollowSquirrel!

Where’s the Remote????

Uncategorized

If you’re not a fan of scary movies, don’t get stuck under your nursing infant on the couch away from the remote while “The Haunting” or “The Diabolical” is on the SciFi channel. I may have just shat myself.

the Mother of All Holidays — Day 4 Contest Winner!

holidays

Oh my lands…I guess this was kind of difficult, but Liza and Mrs. CPA figured it out!

I wanted you to guess which NPR show I saw taped last night, who was SUPPOSE to be the celebrity guest but couldn’t fulfill his obligation (that’s a hint, peeps), and how many items I bought at the concession stand. Let me assure you…if there’s a concession stand, I will buy crap. I heart overpriced, fatty, salty foods!

So, my neighbor and I watched the taping of Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me!

Peter Sagal didn’t look like what he did in my imagination (wha? no houndstooth knickers and peg leg? Damn). And Karl Kassel’s voice is just as wonderful in person as it is sitting in my minivan.

Sigh.

I do love a good voice. Anyhoo, the celebrity guest booked months ago couldn’t make it since he is in hiding (or kissing his wife’s ass for the rest of his miserable life).

As for the concession stand bonus question, I purchased two items (water and popcorn)! An attorney pointed out to me that Mrs. CPA’s answer that I “went to the concession stand twice” doesn’t answer the question. Point taken, Ms. Liza…I’ll see you in chambers, Mrs. CPA.

Or, I’ll just give you EACH a prize! Whooppeeeee!

Stay tuned for today’s contest! GOOD LUCK and HAPPY FRIDAY!