Archive for February, 2007
-image-Grateful Tuesday
Oops yeah. I’ve been lax in posting the 5 things I’m grateful for, although I have been keeping up on being more thankful and grateful in my little pea brain.
But…let’s try this from the top:
1. I’m grateful to have a supportive husband and enough funds to go to BlogHer 2007 in Chicago this summer! YAY. I cannot wait. I need a vacation. One without a squirming baby & chock solid itinerary of seeing family and more family. Of course, I’ll probably miss Jojo and Mr. Squirrel with a heated vengenance and be forced to wear a big ass “I heart Jojo” tshirt with his cute cherubic face embellishing the front…perhaps rhinestone appliques would ease the separation anxiety, too? And a “Mr. Squirrel rox my sox” fanny pack? Who’s going and hangin’ out with me? Huh? Huh? I can make you your own fannypack, too. (please note: I’m kidding. Orders will not be accepted. My bedazzler done broke. again. kidding. movin’ on…)
2. I’m glad I can point Mr. Squirrel to the BlogHer site for him to read for himself why I’m going to BlogHer and what I’ll be doing there, cuz seriously, he asked if we’re going to pillow fight each other. In our undies. Totally. How’d he know? And now I want to know. Have YOU personally ever been involved in a pillow fight with other women in their underwear? If so, how much does porn pay these days?
3. My friend Mary. She’s my best friend here, and I really miss her when we haven’t talked in a while. Last night, I took her to dinner for her birthday, which I casually mentioned to the waitress. Considering she forgot my iced tea and never refilled any of our drinks, we were surprised (and in Mary’s case, not very delighted) when the waitress remembered the occasion and brought over others to sing for her. Awesome! Double awesome? Mary still wants to be my friend. Whew.
4. Thanks to my generous friend, Poodle, who invited me to join her coworker’s Oscar pool, I’m the humble and modest BIG GRAND PRIZE WINNER. Give it up for the WINNER! Woot woot! Of course, I don’t know just how much green I’ll be rolling in yet since she’s skimming a commission from my hardearned winnings she forgot to mention it, but I’m grateful for any extra money to apply to my BlogHer 2007 trip. Have I mentioned yet that I’m going?
5. I’m grateful to have found a wonderful, loving, and kind caregiver for Jojo for Monday afternoons. My amazing neighbor S suggested her mother. The pair get along fabulously, and her grandsons also stop by to play with Jojo. S makes sure to tell me each time that her grandsons are only allowed over for like 30 minutes so I don’t think she’s actually watching 3 children instead of just Jojo. She also does the dishes and once left a note for Mr. Squirrel advising him of a television program she thought he’d like. If you could see the delight on his face when the boys stop over or how he stares after & waves at S when she leaves for the day, you would cry with sweet relief.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
9:45 pm |
-image-Oscar Contest Winner REVEALED
Oh sit down all six of you. I know you could barely contain your enthusiasm last night… and no, it wasn’t due to the wet hot yumminess of Leo or Mark (hereafter referred to as My Mark and don’t you forget it.)
Or the long-awaited revelation of Quadrant Numero Dos. Although that IS exciting, so check it out!
That eager anticipation you were feeling was certainly due to finding out the winner of
HollowSquirrel’s FirstEver and Maybe I’ll Do It Next Year If I’m Still Blogging Then Oscar Contestacular!
A few days back, I threw together in a fit of too much caffeine revealed the carefully crafted, very small contest.
The 4 questions with golden answers:
1. Which movie will win Best Picture? HollowSquirrel curse begone! The Departed wins!
2. Will Jennifer Hudson make it her own and bring home the Best Supporting Actress statuette? Yes!
3. Is Eddie Murphy going to Party all the time, Party all the time, Party all the tii-iime after winning the Best Supporting Actor award? Negatory!
4. Which Best Animated Short Film do you think I most want to see win? No Time for Nuts.
That was a gimme.
Two insightful friends of Hollow Squirrel tied for first place: Sandy & Frannie! As promised, Mr. Squirrel randomly chose the winner, so I will be sending a fabulous Oscar Contestacular Grand Prize to SANDY!! Congrats Sandy! Email me your info and a kick ass prize is YOURS!
Also:
A little HollowSquirrel Oscar recap:
Helen Mirren: stunning.
Reese: stunning.
Cameron Diaz: Quit with the coy coquettish crap. Vomitrama.
Ellen as host: fantabulous. Love her.
Did you not get my memo?: I don’t know who you are, chica, but step off my man. Seriously.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
10:00 pm |
-image-And the Quadrant goes to…
All of you.
Come on up. You have 45 seconds to read this post before the music begins…
You’ve waiting long enough. Sorry for the delay in displaying the results. As you may recall, the subject of this quadrant comes from an argument my mom and I had over the sexiness of John Mayer. Since I needed a “y” axis, I chose another celebrity whose sexiness evokes passionate debates: JT.
Quick explanation:
The X axis shows the perceived sexiness/disgustingness of John Mayer. All the way to the left means “oh fucking A no!” to John Mayer while far right indicates you think he’s yummylicious.
The top of the Y axis is for those of you who find JT to be oh so sexy while the bottom of the Y axis is reserved for those who thinks he’s a nasty, skinny twerp.
Without further ado:
Quadrant I: This is the double hot box…reserved for those HS readers who find both Justin Timberlake AND John Mayer yummy. While a couple of you sit on the fence with John Mayer, only one of you, the mysterious, delurking Dabney, wanted to ride both of them and put them away shaken, but not stirred. It’s late. Give me a bone break. Anyhoo…Dabney, we need to know more. Who are you? Where do you come from? And really? John Mayer? AND Justin? I think your unique perspective on future Quadrants is necessary, so please stop back.
Quadrant II: John Mayer rocks the hottness. Justin Timberlake…not so much. While Bunny threw a half-hearted compliment John’s way, my mother’s passionate argument about his hottness concerned me. Does she need to see her eye doctor? Might her age be affecting her senses?! 
Or is she remembering this rather cute (omg I said it. CUTE.) John Mayer?
Well, screw that. I’m not redoing this quadrant. Cuz really, we’ve all seen him lately with the Medusa hair, bloated look and utter greasiness. Blech.
Quadrant III. My Quadrant. My peeps. Women who know who’s hott. And who’s so not. Please note the utter clusterfuck in the bottom left:
Yes ladies! We quadrant together! Hell to the NEVER NO to JT and JM! I guess we don’t have an agreed upon poster hottie for our quadrant, so let it be whomever floats your horned up boat.
Quadrant IV: Ok. This picture makes me think you’re all not smokin’ the crack:
And really, Justin scored many many more admirers than Jessica’s boytoy (ok, did you, too, just vomit a little? sorry.). But those of you who adore him, those of you towards the top of the box, you’re quite scary fervent. I do believe if you ran into Mr. Timberlake, you’d turn into bumbling, drooling fools: 
For those of you concerned that we don’t share a quadrant, no worries. I still heart you.
And now! Your prize? Wha? Yes, I’m a giver. Whoever can give me the most correct crayon color names (from a box of 16 Crayola crayons) used in the Quadrant wins a fabulous(ly inexpensive but still fun) prize!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
7:11 pm |
-image-Deep Thoughts Friday
And NO, I’m not done with my quadrant yet. Yes, I’m talkin’ to you, Ms. Hily of the Sillys, and you (Jeannette, my favorite Belgian EVER! I heart you more than Magritte!).
This latest one takes a bit more precision plotting what with your deep-seeded loathing or lusting… lots of overlap! But I promise. This weekend! Quadrants! Oscars! What more do you people want from me?!?
Wha?
Contests? Prizes? Ok Fine. Let’s play the (overplayed) Oscar guessing game. Please leave a comment with your answers to these four simple preguntas:
1. Which movie will win Best Picture? (and I saw Babel last night, so let me fill you in on this spoiler: I didn’t like it. Ergo, it’s likely to win.)
2. Will Jennifer Hudson make it her own and bring home the Best Supporting Actress statuette?
3. Is Eddie Murphy going to Party all the time, Party all the time, Party all the tii-iime after winning the Best Supporting Actor award?
4. Which Best Animated Short Film do you think I most want to see win?
Of those who answer correctly, Mr. Squirrel will pick the lucky winner from Jojo’s winter hat! Fabulous mystery prizes will be sent to your home shortly thereafter. OOOH the excitement!
And yes, I’ll get back to the work. I mean, the Quadrant!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
10:23 am |
-image-Give it up or don’t.
When I lived here, my friend Poodle gave up something tasty for Lent each year.
We’d be out to lunch or taking our daily trip to the basement Coke machine when she’d tell me. This year it’s this!
What? Oh yeah, you do that Lent thing.
One year, she sacrificed her beloved Coke (no really, she loves her red can o’ coke). And don’t even get her STARTED on Cherry Coke. She probably knows every restaurant or joint in the Twin Cities that sells fountain Cherry Coke. Addict. What?
Another year, she gave up candy. This one I didn’t really get because I’m not a candy person. I’m a chocolate person. Big difference (quadrant different, in fact). It was still work for her, I realize this, so kudos to you, Poodle.
Last year, she gave up trying to get Roger at Einstein Bagel to remember her…ya know, the tiny blonde who comes in three times a week and NEVER EVER wants a dripping, disgusting pickle anywhere NEAR her bagel (that has just a smidge of cream cheese on it, NOT too much). Ok. I don’t know what she gave up last year for Lent because I’m a bad bad friend who was too wrapped up in my baby to ask. I’m sorry.
This year! What’s it going to be this year, dear Poodle?
If you ask me, and I know you wouldn’t, I think you should give up your collection of Designer Imposters parfumes. Or…let’s see… your porcelain clown collection? I know! The crackpipe! Lay that bad boy down until Easter, ok?
No, really. I support you. I heart you. You know that. And anyone else making a sacrifice and trying to rid themselves of something unhealthy (like another blogging buddy who’s deliberating between trying to eliminate POP (”coke” in her neck of the woods), fast food or snacks), props to you and good luck.
Just please. No one give up blogging, ok?
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
9:30 pm |
-image-2 Things
1. Men vs Women: Mooning
Question: Maybe this is just the men in my life, but why, when men moon me, do they feel compelled to spread their ass cheeks and give me the ol’ brown eye as well as a lovely backview of their balls? I don’t want to see that. I want the funny “full moon” moon surprise. Let’s not go all medical exam on me, you know what I’m saying? When you’re on the giving or receiving end, is it a “hands on the pants” or “hands spreading cheeks” event?
2. Guests: Sister-in-law & boyfriend
Observation: I’m damn old. So they’ve never heard of this. Thankfully, the power of the interweb allows me to play them the song instead of re-enact it on my laptop (tickling the ivories/center row), interjecting “it was REALLY funny” and “I guess you had to hear it” and “GOD you guys don’t KNOW THIS?” between verses. Oh sweet Sallie Mae, Mr. Squirrel wasn’t down here for my performance, but maybe he doesn’t know this either. Can that be? I should go upstairs and lull him to sleep with the dulcid tones of his beloved singing of broccoli chop (UH!) ing…
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
8:43 pm |
-image-Bad Idea Jeans
Britney must have been sporting the Bad Idea Jeans when she decided to shave her friggin noggin. Or she’s giving a shout-out to Elia from Top Chef? Nope, I’m thinking breakdown, and so are the people who were working in the tattoo parlor she visited after shaving her gourd. Read it from Perez here.
Seriously. The girl needs help. Please someone help before she winds up dead like Anna Nicole.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
10:05 am |
-image-The Fevah
The Squirrels have come down with the Fevah. Not the good variety, either– we’re not hankering for Pringles or some saucy banter with Johnny Fever (WKRP in Cin-cin-aaaat-at-eeee) but rather the all too familiar fever fever (as in crabby, hot toddler) and cabin fever.
Here’s our front yard before what one set of crafty meterologists have described as February FURY 2007:
Ahhh looks all sweet and innocent.
Ahhh looks all dirty and hot and sick and snotty…but damn, he’s still snuggly. This was my Wednesday. Valentine’s Day. Don’t I look hott? No really, I apologize. Thursday, I usually work, but with Jojo’s fever preventing me from dropping him at daycare, I spent the day trying (in vain) to entertain him and keep him comfortable. For the first time EVER, he didn’t take a nap. On the day he could have used a three hour nap. For the love. Momma needed a break. A nap. Anything. In my last desperate attempts to curb the whining, I let him watch an entire episode of Sesame Street. Thank GOD Elmo starred in much of the show because the cartoons don’t hold Jo’s attention like my favorite little furry red monster. And really? I do love Elmo. So much. I don’t know. I know it’s cool to hate him, but I don’t. Put THAT on your quadrant. But back to February Fever 2007:
Sorry for the substandard picture quality but we didn’t want to risk waking Jojo.
In the three previous winters, this weird corner mountain of snow has never appeared before. Perhaps it was the drifting of the supafine snow off our roof, but this mound freaks out Mr. Squirrel. I kinda like it:
Despite the fever and a below 0 windchill, a bundled Jojo sets forth into the snow tunnels with a soon-to-be-grounded Mr. Squirrel:
And all right. Enough. When does this shit melt?
You’re right, mommy. Snow sucks. I’m outta here.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
2:25 pm |
-image-Part 2 of Ginormous Meme
Continuing the looong ass meme…
38. Window seat or aisle? Thanks to my small bladder and general fidgetiness, I prefer the aisle.
39. Ever met anyone famous? Yes. Let’s see: I’ve met her– her awesome father was one of my professors in grad school. Remember her from the Pepsi commercials, etc.? In the short time I spoke with her, I fell in love with her sweetness and modesty. She told me all about riding horses (her real passion). Totally cute. I went to college with two famous people. One is a successful cosmetic surgeon and was on one episode of Dr. 90210. You’ve probably read his opinions on celebrities and their possible (mis)adventures in plastic surgery in one of many gossip rags. His blog rocks. The other famous person I went to college with doesn’t elicit the same positive enthusiasm. One word: melodramatic. Not nice. Oops, that’s three words. And the last famous person I met will rock your socks off, ladies. Get ready to pee yourself with excitement: Rob Stone! Hott!!! My friend, Susan, and I chased him through the Orlando airport when we were 14 or so. Not my fault– I was just running after her trying to figure out who she saw that sent her SCREAMING and RUNNING out of the idling hotel van. That’s all I can think of for now…
40. Do you feel that you’ve had a truly successful life? Lordy, you’re asking this in the midst of other not so deep questions? Yes, I do, I guess. I’ve definitely made some mistakes, regret a couple choices, but overall, the relationships I have with my husband, son, family and friends indicate great success. And relationships– that’s where true success lies, not with careers, material goods and money, in my opinion.
41. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl with a fork & spoon.
42. Ricki Lake or Oprah Winfrey? Ellen! But again, if forced, I guess I’d pick Oprah. I mean, I like many things she does, but I can’t watch her show because it’s alllll commercials.
43. Basketball or Football? Uh, what’s on TiVo?
44. How long do your showers last? Not very long since I only shave my legs approximately 4 times a year. This saves me a lot of time.
45. Automatic or do you drive a stick? I’m not too good at driving the stick. (That’s what he said.)
46. Cake or ice cream? Yes, please. If forced to choose, cake always wins.
47. Are you self-conscious? Yep.
48. Have you ever drank so much you threw up? That’s an affirmative.
49. Have you ever given money to a beggar? Yes, and I’ve given them soup, doughnuts, pizza and burgers.
50. Have you been in love? Thankfully, YES!
51. Where do you wish you were? Playing with Jojo and Mr. Squirrel in the park across from his aunt’s canal house in Amsterdam.
52. Are you wearing socks? Yes…uber cute socks my dad gave me for Christmas.
53. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? No.
54. Can you tango? I can do the straight arm dance part…that’s the right dance, right? Probably better than Master P but not as well as Joey Lawrence.
55. Last gift you received? A colorful pair of handknitted socks from my sister-in-law.
56. Last sport you played? Thumbwrestling with my coworker. He won. But then I kicked his ass at slapjack.
57. Things you spend a lot of money on? Groceries, eating out for lunch, diapers.
58. Where do you live? In that house (<-------) in an old neighborhood in a tiny town outside the capital of NY State.
59. Where were you born? In a hospital in southwestern Michigan.
60. Last wedding attended? Uh, let’s see…I remember missing out on several out of state weddings while I was pregnant, so I think the last wedding Mr. Squirrel and I attended was south of Chicago for my friends Mary & Jim. I think. I could be really wrong. That was certainly a long time ago. I’m just blanking.
62. Favorite position? Facedown, asleep in my pillow.
63. Most hated food(s)? Eggplant. Blech. I’m gagging just thinking about it.
64. Most hated soda pop? You mean “pop.” Let me think… ah yes, Sierra Mist. Blech.
65. Can you sing? Oh sistah, can I belt out the tunes. Not that you’d want to be in the near vincinity…
66. Last person you instant messaged? Isabel
67. Last place you went on holiday? Maui
68. Favorite regular drink? Polar Seltzer water flavored with Pomegranate or Lime or Cranberry Lime. I became addicted to this (no calories, no sodium) pop substitute while pregnant. YUMMY! But if I need caffeine, Diet Coke!
69. Current Song? Better by Regina Spektor… only $6.99 on Amazon and seriously? Best $6.99 I ever spent.
70. Tag 3 friends. You’re all probably thinking “OH PLEASE DEAR MRS. SQUIRREL DO NOT TAG ME!” To you, I say, too bad! If you have time, do the meme, but I know it’s long ass. Still, I tag:
Stevo, back at the blog again at Where in the World is Stevo San Diego. If you have time between decorating you apartment, that is!
Julie, who feels sweet relief at daycare dilemmas SOLVED, at Dribble and Drool. Yay!
Jennifer, aka, the girl who smooshes people who jump in with her in revolving doors at the Chronicles of Baltimore.
=====
And please, should you want to partake in my latest exercise in Quadrant Plotting, please read this post and let me know your position on JT and John Mayer stat!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
1:05 pm |
-image-Come over here
and let me give you a Valentine’s Day kiss!
Happy VD to all & to all some good lovin’.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
11:04 am |
