Back and more grateful than ever!
May 3, 2007 | Uncategorized
Wooooo E. Nothing I needed more than a weekend with friends– and YES! I’m writing about last weekend because this blog is so on top of the latest news. Sigh.
I feel refreshed (still). I feel invigorated (ok, the tantrums stretched me thin yesterday). I feel ready to move back to the midwest. BUT don’t order that moving truck just yet; I still love it here, too. I just miss my friends. And the bounty of delicious restaurants. And the shopping. And the transvestites. Ok, so we only saw one, but ma’am, you need to head straight to Sephora for a consultation. That foundation was not right for your skin tone. You looked dead. And straighten your wig, while you’re at it. The gray Dorothy Hamil was not a good choice as is, let alone sitting askew atop your gourd.
But back to my trip!! Sorry but I can’t post any pictures of the actual friends I visited, because I don’t have friends? Noooo smart ass, actually, I had to promise them that I wouldn’t post any pictures without their permission, and if I went through that rigamarole, I wouldn’t post about the trip for another 7 months because some people take a long time making decisions. I’m talking to you, Sir Peeps-a-lot and the 37 minutes spent figuring out Friday night’s dinner bill. Loveyou!
Instead, may I present…5 things I’m grateful for over this past weekend’s trip to Minneapolis/St. Paul?! What? On a Wednesday Thursday? That makes no sense, but I truly began this post yesterday two days ago, so it counts in my book:
1. Mr. Squirrel– this trip wouldn’t have happened without the support and awesomeness of Mr. Squirrel. How lucky am I that my husband was all “go! have fun! you deserve it?!” Not once did he try and make me feel guilty. He couldn’t wait to spend the entire weekend alone with Jojo and even took him, by train, down to New York City to meet up with some of his family!
A brave man– I can honestly say I wouldn’t have done that, but all went well, save a tantrum or two (FAO Schwarz– damn those Thomas the Tank Engine tables!!) But it gets better. When I returned home, not only was I greeted with kisses and hugs, but Mr. Squirrel surprised me with a new one of these! DUDE. I know. He rocks.
2. Duh. Friends. The greatest friends: Poodle, Sweets, GreatNorthernMommy, Sir Peeps-a-Lot and SassyMommy. Oh dear LORD did they make me laugh and miss living there. By the time I finally arrived on Friday, Poodle, my gracious host, and I only had time to drive straight to the restaurant– so I changed in the car, cuz I’m classy. But I promise– no one was flashed in the process. And it was only my top, not my pants. Right, Poodle? K.
So we met Sweets, GreatNorthernMommy and Sir Peeps-a-lot (not his real name, but he chose this moniker to mask his true identity) at a new restaurant just around the corner from one of my former apartments…which used to be a coffeehouse that chose to take out its LOUD RECYCLING at like 6 every morning. Oh yes, I remember with venom.
But the new restaurant, complete with never-confirmed-but-suspected-of-a-fake-accent waitress, hosted us on their porch, so we could enjoy the lovely mild weather and random weird chick hoola-hoopin’ down the sidewalk. Because I was in the company of greatness (and easily embarrassedness), I decided to randomly attempt to embarrass Poodle and Sir Peeps-a-lot (Sweets expects no less and GreatNorthernMommy has seen and heard everything…I can rarely rattle her) by saying “LABIA” as often as possible into our conversations.
Such as “after dinner, I want to head over to the newly located Saint Sabrina’s Parlour in Purgatory” to get my LABIA pierced! Who wants to join me?” wherein Poodle would sink lower into her chair and Sir Peeps-a-lot would giggle quietly and pinch the bridge of his nose. I don’t know why. It’s just something Sir Peeps-a-lot does. It’s endearing. So I try to get him to pinch the bridge of his nose as often as possible, even if that means shouting “LABIA” over dinner.
On the agenda for Saturday: Mall o’ America, Uptown (lunch) and dinner out with Sweets & her fiance! FINALLY! I get to meet her fiance. It’s about damn time. But first: momma needs some clothing! And makeup! (you’ll hear more about these later) And this! Hubba hubba. I’m in love. After stocking up on other necessities, we drove to Uptown for lunch at an old haunt. Here, we met SassyMommy– another friend who, as I may have indicated through her secret name, is sassy and a mom. Girls. She wears high heels all the time. This time was no exception – my sexy friend strolled in (with her scrumptious little girl) wearing HOTT leopard print heels. Hott! Time does not affect dear SassyMommy. She looks exactly the same as when I last saw her (my wedding — way too long ago), if not hotter. We had a blast, and not just because her little munchkin makes you want to squeeze her like Charmin, or because of those wings. Or pizza. Or my two Bloody Marys. OOooh sugar! I forgot how much I love a good Bloody Mary. Mmm mm.
Anyway, after lunch, we met up with Sweets and (almost) Mr. Sweets– who just totally adores Sweets, doesn’t mind shopping with the girls AND helped Sweets pick out new lipstick shades at MAC. Hello? Total catch. We lollygagged it down to the lakes and sat out, watching the freaks, families and well everyone else enjoying the perfect day, and had some (non-alcoholic) beverages to replenish all of the fluids we used up shopping and walking. Whew. I’m surprised I’m not sore.
Then, we had to part ways (yet again) to get ready for drinks/late dinner at a new (to me) bar. Mr. Sweets even joined us for Round 2– definitely one of the gang now. NOT that we condone gangness. We didn’t circle him & kick him. Oh no.
But back to the bar: I don’t remember going to a lot of bars in this part of town when I lived there, mainly because, uh I have no good excuse. Had this bar opened while I lived there, I probably would have made the trip — because who else serves champagne in a can or offers appetizers like tater tots (damn crispy!) and these?
Not that they actually serve dog penises (peni?). No dogs were hurt in the making of these Red Rockets, but some pigs were, let’s be honest. I think the dogs/pigs were in the “blanket” or maybe they weren’t. All I remember is that they were deep fried and delicious (and totally not red-rocket-ity). To make the day even more awesome (dare I say, awesomer), my hermit-like friend, Sir Peeps-a-lot, ventured out to the bar (again!) with his boyfriend (whom I’d never met). Sir Peeps-a-lot doesn’t go out much. He’s a homebody. So, I was touched and thrilled to have him there, allowing us to make fun of him in front of his (totally adorable, funny & talented) boyfriend.
After this, Poodle and I watched an episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia on the way back to her house (ok, she listened, and I watched. She’s not an asshat driver! I promise.) And we may have watched some TV back at her house. Or maybe we didn’t. I kind of don’t remember after having two ciders. W.e.a.k.
Can I just tellllll you how great it was to sleep past 6:20 two mornings in a row? Dudes. When it comes to BlogHer, I should have just skipped the damn thing altogether and just attended the cocktail parties, staying in bed and ordering room service. BUT that’s not very friendly, is it? So, yes, Poodle and I took a lovely morning stroll to the quaint shopping area near her place to score me some morning joe, then we (surprise!) shopped. Again. Then ate. Again.
And that is why me & my suitcase went back a tad heavier. Ahem. And you know how we ended the trip? By watching a couple episodes of Entourage (aren’t you happy?). DUDE. Hilarious. I’m definitely giving it another go.
I know that was like the longest item e.v.e.r in my list of grateful things, so I’m sorry. But thanks for reading and wishing me the most fantastic trip to see my friends. It WAS wonderful, and they are so important to me. I’m grateful to have worked and played with them and that they don’t get pissy when I don’t email them for months on end. I love them. Even if they don’t email me the pictures from our weekend, like they promised. Bygones! Labia!
3. Uptown– where I lived for 5 years:
I heart Uptown. I’m glad things were the way they were when I lived there. The steady stream of new restaurants, stores and weirdos keep life interesting, but I’m grateful that when I lived there, the Chipolte was not open within a block of our apartment, because I’d be huge. HUGE. And probably routinely constipated. My ass got enough help from the bar/pizza place across the street which featured not-to-be-missed specials after 10pm.
And these two shops? They used to be a hair salon (not good) and video store (with porn! and scary staff!) and were situated directly in front of our apartment. On the right, you’ll see the crackerjack video store folded to become a dry cleaner (yes, that would have been useful), but the place on the left? That, dear friends, is now the intimidatingly goth piercing parlor. Wait, they’ve changed their name, it’s now the much more yuppie-friendly (except those nipple piercing pictures. Ouchie my wouchies.) Still, that could have led to some doubly regrettable hangovers.
3a. Hi. I’m glad I wasn’t walking around hot & dirty Uptown in prom attire, perusing restaurant menus and trying to figure out where we should get our dinner at 3:30 on a Saturday. 3:30.
What happened to getting picked up at 5:30 or 6:00? How long must she wear this unfortunate dress? And him? The pink tuxedo vest? Simple horrific. And what’s with NOT securing reservations before the actual prom? Did these kids really think they were going to grab an open table for 8? Well, I guess so, since it was 3 fricking 30 in the afternoon. We saw one gaggle of tanned and scantily clad youngins wandering the streets while one of the guys ate a burrito from a styrofoam container. Class-y!
4. No sales tax on shoes & clothes! That’s why I needed those tshirts, work clothes and
Wait, what? The sales tax exemption doesn’t apply to makeup? Oh, and damn you, Amalah! Not to mention my enabling friend, Poodle, for egging me on to buy this beautiful orange diaper bag. I’m a sucker for orange:
Not to mention, it matches the new stroller we bought a couple of weeks ago:
Because we needed a new stroller kindofnotreally. BUT IT’S ORANGE!
5. And double duh: I’m grateful to come home to this wonderful love bug:
While I definitely missed him, knowing he was in loving and capable hands allowed for me to let go and enjoy myself and my friends. When I saw construction equipment or a bus, I had to stop myself from calling out and pointing to it (for Jojo’s amusement) because Poodle would have thought, “yes, that’s a bus… fascinating!” The most heartwrenching moments came when I saw moms or families with their toddlers. I felt the urge to ask the child’s age and talk about Jojo but managed to restrain myself from whipping out the 30 pictures I brought in an album (although I kept forgetting it to show my friends. Duh. BAD MOMMY.). I’m grateful to have gone, and I’m so incredibly grateful to come home to the smiles on his & Mr. Squirrel’s faces.
Random Tale of Embarrassment:
After my last post, I fell asleep at the gate. Unfortunately, I drooled on my new Target coat:
The Burt’s Bees is there for scale. You’re welcome.
AND BECAUSE THIS POST JUST WON’T END: the first person to read this post and include the word LABIA in their comment wins a prize.
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May 3rd, 2007 at 10:15 pm, SJ Says:
Whoa! Long post, but damn it sounds like you had TONS of fun. I’m totally jealous! Sounds like you have a great group of friends!
Oh, and I must not forget. I went right to that piercing webpage and checked it out! Piercings have always interested me, but before you go thinking something crazy, let me just say – no labia piercings for me.
Glad you are back!
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:07 pm, angela Says:
Is there a second place prize? Because if so, labia.
May 4th, 2007 at 4:34 am, Jeannette Says:
Sounds like a great weekend! Glad you had fun:)
May 4th, 2007 at 7:48 am, Mrs. Squirrel Says:
Me neither, SJ. That’s just not a place I’d go near with a piercing. Or my nipples (I mean, I do have THREE after all).
Congrats on the win! Email me your address and I will send out the prize tomorrow! AND BOY is it a doozy!
ANGELA– Why of course there’s a second place prize, my love! I didn’t mention that? Actually, when I was in Mpls, I found something and thought of you (big surprise– it had to do with robots)… but I didn’t buy it. I’m sorry. Don’t hate me. BUT I have a prize in mind for you. Send me your address.
I promise your whereabouts will remain safe with the Squirrel Family.
May 4th, 2007 at 8:22 am, Julie Says:
Sounds like you had a great time! I love the new diaper bag and how stylish of you to match your new stroller. One of my good friends hearts everything orange – I will have to show her the bag.
May 4th, 2007 at 8:23 am, Julie Says:
Oh, and even though the contest is over, I can’t resist. Labia is not a word you get to use everyday!
May 4th, 2007 at 11:10 am, Isabel Says:
I laughed so hard at this post, I think I broke my labia.
What a GREAT post. I feel like I was there. I’m refresed and happy after having a weekend away with (your) friends. (See, it’s like I was there!)
I’m so jealous of your good times. It sounds like you had a blast. Not to mention that AWESOME new purchases you came home with. (Tell me, would you recommend the Club Monaco shirts? I may have to go and check them out at their store today.)
And also, I need to rub Jojo’s belly, for it is delicious.
(Good to know that Mr. Squirrel isn’t afraid of hoping a train to NYC. You know, since I’ll be there in September and the Squirrel family MUST meet us there. They just MUST!)
May 4th, 2007 at 11:49 am, Desiree Says:
Wait, Desomond? Where is he? Labia? What?
May 4th, 2007 at 12:45 pm, motherofbun Says:
You just crack. me. up. woman!
So glad you had such a fun, fun weekend! Yeay YOU!
May 4th, 2007 at 2:48 pm, Rachel Says:
Sounds like an awesome time! Did you bring any spiders home with you??? I told you Jojo was gonna be sooooo happy to see you when you got home!
I’m j of the laptop!
May 4th, 2007 at 3:14 pm, jen Says:
not that I need one – but I’d buy that orange diaper bag. Can it fit files? heh.
May 4th, 2007 at 5:14 pm, Isabel Says:
Oh and I forgot to mention…don’t you just love “It’s Always Sunny”?! Have we discussed this before? Because we LOVE IT AT MY HOUSE. LOVE IT. I can’t ever decide if I love Dennis or Mac more. I mean, damn they are sick.
And also, I might have to give up on Entourage. I KNOW. But this season sucks donkey ass. Or donkey balls. Either way, it sucks.
May 5th, 2007 at 9:11 am, Bunny Says:
I don’t think I have ever typed the word labia. There. I feel empowered!
May 5th, 2007 at 12:39 pm, jen from boston Says:
P.s. Burt’s Bees can also be directly applied to one’s labia.
Or so I hear.
May 5th, 2007 at 8:08 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Deep Thoughts Friday Saturday Says:
[...] sprinklings of the l-word and chose to work it into your comment. I hope, dear Isabel, that your broken labia heals quickly. I hear Burt’s Bees helps. We can always count on Jen for sage [...]
May 6th, 2007 at 8:05 pm, Poodle Says:
Dude. Awesome re-cap of the weekend. I feel like I just re-lived it! And I just got your (totally unnecessary) thank you note. Aw shucks. You’re so sweet. COME AGAIN! OR MOVE HERE!!??!
I, too, totally wanna rub JoJo’s belly. Little Buddha boy!
May 7th, 2007 at 11:56 am, La Turista Says:
I’m with Isabel – have we discussed the genius that is “The Gang” from “… Philadelphia?!” SOOO awesome! A Belated Welcome Home to you!
November 12th, 2007 at 12:54 pm, hola, isabel » Blog Archive » The diaper bag has left the building Says:
[...] This all changed last Christmas morning when I open a present from The King and found a new fangled messenger bag/diaper bag. He had decided that since he loved his messenger bag so much I would love one as my diaper bag. Plus it was orange, and everybody loves orange. [...]