Coffee… it kills
June 25, 2007 | Uncategorized
You read it here first. Coffee kills Dell laptops immediately upon impact of gloriously yummy hazelnut creamer flavored half decaf morning roast with keyboard. SON OF A (insert every single obscenity you know here). I’ve been saying them allll morning.
Remember that beautiful new shiny perfect laptop my awesome husband surprised me with? Well, it’s dead. Dead dead. Not fake I’m just bitching because my laptop smells like hazelnuts dead. Dead dead. The 4,295th person I spoke with this morning from Dell kind of alerted me to this fun fact.
Yeah, as if I wasn’t angry enough at myself for tipping an ENTIRE BIG ASS mug of coffee onto my laptop, pretty orange bag and assorted crap garnishing our dining room table, I then had to rifle through the stacks of unorganized papers in our office to find the number for Dell. I finally found a number. Not the right number.
Oh no, by the time I finally spoke to the right person, I had talked to SIX different Dell employees in SIX different Dell departments probably in at least four different countries. Considering the foul mood I was in when I made the call, you can imagine how friendly I was when the fourth employee told me he had to transfer me yet again.
When Poor Customer Service Dude #5 asked me how I was doing, apparently unaware that I’d barked at the past couple of people and had now spelled my last name at least 5 times before, I said loudly and as clearly as possible: “I’M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.”
(pause for five seconds)
Poor Customer Service Dude #5: (very weakly) “I’m sorry to hear that.”
You’re not the only one.
—–
Yeah, so the Quadrant got fried on the harddrive, so I have to re-plot. That’s a reminder to those who didn’t get their votes in on time to do so here.
&
the What the J? contest has been pushed to tomorrow or later this evening.
&
did I mention that my beloved laptop is dead? Sob.
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June 25th, 2007 at 1:27 pm, Julie Says:
R.I.P. Laptop.
Can they do anything about it?
June 25th, 2007 at 1:30 pm, Isabel Says:
Holy hell….my heart aches for you. Seriously, I would cry if this happened to me.
My co worker did the same thing with her laptop and just kept laughing like it wasn’t a big deal. I kept thinking to myself, “yeah, this IS a big deal!!” But it ended up not being a big deal and it was all fine once it dried. Um, I think.
Either way, you’ll be fine. (I hope!)
June 25th, 2007 at 1:58 pm, Maya Says:
Ugh! Coffee = baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad for laptop. RIP brave little Dell laptop. Sad!
June 25th, 2007 at 3:22 pm, Jen from Boston Says:
I am so sorry for your loss.
June 25th, 2007 at 3:47 pm, SJ Says:
Oh you poor thing. Is it under warranty still at least?
June 25th, 2007 at 4:12 pm, Alyndabear Says:
I am so sorry for your dead laptop. That bastard! (I’ve killed many a keyboard.. but from Coke.. oh dear. Must be the caffeine.)
June 25th, 2007 at 4:24 pm, La Turista Says:
First off, as your attorney, I think you might have a case against Dunkin Donuts for knowingly getting you addicted to the juice in the first place, thereby causing you to have said jo near said laptop at the time of said unfortunate accident. So there’s that.
Also, everyone I’ve ever known who worked at Dell, top to bottom, hated that place. HATED it. So give them all the hell you want because they’re already miserable.
June 25th, 2007 at 4:28 pm, Rachel Says:
Damn, I am sorry about the laptop! Did you have insurance on it or anything that will help replace it?
June 25th, 2007 at 5:37 pm, Audrey Says:
That is tragic! Am deeply sorry for your loss.
June 25th, 2007 at 5:48 pm, heidikins Says:
Oh no!!! That is the worst thing I’ve heard all day! If this happened to me I would be curled up under my desk in the fetal position. Poor little Dell…
xox
June 25th, 2007 at 6:03 pm, Jezer Says:
Oh, holy hell that sucks donkey balls. Hard. Once my work machine died, and I got the shakes. So my personal laptop, or even my desktop–that shit would send me into hysterics. You’re holding up well, I’d say.
I hope it (either the computer or just “things” in general) gets better soon.
June 25th, 2007 at 7:51 pm, Brittany Says:
I can’t believe that happened to you because it happened to my blog friend Emery Jo last week, too (emeryjo.blogspot.com). Same story. Coffee on the lap top. Is this a consipiracy???
June 25th, 2007 at 8:19 pm, Heather B. Says:
I’m so very sorry. Would an extra dose of bento box help? Or a burrito? I dunno…what can I do?
June 25th, 2007 at 8:22 pm, Bethany Says:
Oh no. That sucks.
June 25th, 2007 at 8:42 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Third Time’s a Charm — What the J? Says:
[...] « Coffee… it kills [...]
June 26th, 2007 at 9:46 am, Jeannette Says:
Man, that sucks! So sorry.
June 26th, 2007 at 10:25 am, Operation Pink Herring Says:
Killing the computer with coffee is my worst nightmare. I’ve had several close calls, and still I keep putting my mug next to the docking station. WHY?
Just anecdotal evidence, but I also know someone who spilled water ALL OVER her computer, and it was OK after it dried out. It took like a week to dry out, so maybe there is still hope? Maybe? I am always one to hope that big problems will just magically fix themselves. You definitely deserve a free pass during your Celexa detox.
June 26th, 2007 at 11:28 am, CPA Mom and Soccer Mom Angela Says:
I haven’t killed my laptop (yet) but I cannot get my quicken to open. as in, the program with all my checkbook and financial data from 1999 to present on it. I’m jumping off a ledge now.
June 27th, 2007 at 11:40 am, Carrisa Says:
This is precisely why I took out that protection plan when I bought my new Dell laptop on January. I’m severely clumsy and I do not trust myself. But it was expensive. Like $200.
June 29th, 2007 at 10:26 pm, Hollow Squirrel » the easy way out Says:
[...] the brink with its annoying connectivity issues. I am, you’ll be happy to know, typing on the Formerly Perfect Now A Little Off and Sticky and Definitely Hazelnutty laptop. It’s not *quite* right. Something’s a little off in there…but I’m not [...]