and not in a good way… “total madness” indeed, Bruno! I loved watching her dance. Wah.
Also: it’s 7:31 in the a.m. and my young cub* crunches on his second third baby dill pickle of the day. He hasn’t eaten a pickle in months, but when he bats those long lashes over his huge blue eyes and so sweetly requests a “pick-o meeeease” well, what’s a mom to do? Pickles are vegetables, right? Vegetables soaked in sodium. Gooood parenting, Mrs. Squirrel.
*yes, I’m planning on Jojo dressing as a lion today for Halloween, but so far, Jojo has other ideas. Such as going as Slappy McTimeouts, Tantrum Boy.
1. I’m grateful that the vast majority of you support me in NaBloPoMo, where I will post every single day for the month of November, because I signed up! I’m in, baby, and I’m even making list of posting topics should I find myself desperate for topics. Of course, I’d be (even more) grateful of any suggestions you leave me in the comments section - what do you want to know about me/us?
2. Baby boy (Cletus McFetus) is a kicking machine. I’m guessing in a few months, I’ll look back on this happy memory and roll my eyes, moan in pain and beg for him to quit trying to separate my ribs with his feet. But now? I love it. I love his active arms, pumping legs and adorable spirit. Last week at the ultrasound, he graced us with a giant smile. Mind you, the technician had just switched the machine to 3D, which at 19 weeks, can be rather…scary. Still. I swear he smiled!
3. Besides kicking and keeping momma rubbing her belly with pride, I’m grateful to report that the ultrasound/tests last week did not show any indicators for anything worrisome. Also, I’m grateful that my sorta crazy OB didn’t freak out when she found out I’m having another boy. She had requested a “small, little girl” to reduce the chances of a repeat “traumatic birth.” This is all in her opinion. I mean, YES, Jojo was big, lots of stitches were stitched/ripped, and yeah, the recovery sucked major major major awful big dirty donkey balls, but I didn’t hesitate a bit on having another baby. Never. My OB, on the other hand, might need therapy after this next birth, if Cletus turns out as large or larger than his big brother. And, continuing the grateful streak…I’m thankful and shocked that she (OB) didn’t drop the C-word (c-section, that is)…she’s always up for cutting open my stomach, and I was happy not to hear her suggest that.
4. Despite his performance as Slappy McTimeOut at SoccerTots yesterday morning, Jojo is growing into a sweet and loving boy. Even though it sounds like “tang kook,” he thanks us for getting him milk and other things, and uses “please” (”mease”) all the time. Am I bragging? Oh who cares. I’m grateful for my stubborn little sweetpea.
5. I’m grateful for my work friend, Vera, who keeps me abreast of office gossip on the days I’m not there… a troubling email from her just before lunch informed me of several awesome events I’m unfortunate not to see firsthand, but at least I get the goods from her about: someone brought their yappy dog to work and it went all barky attack on one of the interns; twin cases of unfortunate horizontal striping (same bad shirt, two fashion disasters); WHITE PANTS, people, someone chose to wear WHITE PANTS TODAY; and finally, a request for someone to serve as “cleavage police”. Oh good times. How I wish I were there…but really? I’m off to nap. Thanks to Vera, though, for the update.
I like Halloween. I really do. I may not spend lots of time, thought or money choosing a costume, and my lawn contains only four pumpkins (no blow-up pumpkins, no ghosts, no skeletons rising from my lawn/cemetery), but I do enjoy Halloween.
I love seeing others’ decorations, handing out candy and gorging on leftover candy. Not that I’ll care about the candy this year, since I purposefully picked up some Starbursts and Skittles so that I wouldn’t overindulge and help build the ultimate vagina-busting baby boy of 2008.
The one thing I really don’t care for at Halloween is the scary movies. These nightmare-makers light up the movie marquees, their commercials haunt my innocent tv viewing and just hearing about them sends shivers down my spine. So then I look behind me to make sure I’m not being creeped up upon by a psycho. I’m a big ol’ wuss. HUGE wuss. Scaredy cat wuss.
I’m one of those people that, if for some STUPID reason, I decide to see a scary movie, I watch most of it from behind my hands. I sink lower and lower into my chair and hold onto the person next to me. I sweat. I squeal. I’m a total freakazoid. Afterwards, I’ll have nightmares. It will take me several heart-pounding hours before I can safely go to bed. For most of my life, I could not sleep on my back or have my neck uncovered in bed for fear of having a screwdriver jammed up through the mattress into my neck (Friday the 13th) or having my blood sucked by Dracula, respectively.
Remember that book meme I pawned off a couple of weeks ago? Well, I decided to take a look at a somewhat legitimate list of the 20 scariest movies.
I’m trying to follow the same rules as the book meme, although I’m tossing in some commentary, too:
Bold those you’ve seen. Italicize movies you have started but couldn’t finish.
Add an asterisk* to those you have watched more than once. Underline those on your To Watch list.
THE SHINING*
Um, yeah. This movie STILL creeps me out. To this day, I fear walking alone in old hotels or passing by Room 212. Unfortunately, I’ve seen the movie on more than one stressful occasion, but to this day, I still don’t know what the woman in the bathtub nor those freaky twins look like. I know better. But still. I saw that nice older black man get axed, that’s why all throughout high school, it took me several anxious minutes for me to make it down our hallway for breakfast in the morning. Seriously. Issues.
THE EXORCIST
Not surprisingly, I didn’t last this movie. That voice still creeps me out. Which voice? Yeah. Too many to count. I called it a day and hid under my comforter. You’ll see this theme develop…
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE
What better movie for a family to choose for their daughter’s 5th grade Halloween slumber party than this? Right? I mean, what could possibly go wrong with this choice? I don’t think I slept that night. I’m sooo glad I at least wasn’t in Texas at the time. But then telling us to run around in the woods afterwards? No trauma there.
THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS
This movie proved way creepy, but the worst part for me was when the killer tricked the woman into helping him lift the couch or whatever into his van, then he clubbed her & well, you can figure out the rest. Or you probably saw it. Practice random acts of kindness, my ass, is all I’m saying.
JAWS
This is the reason I do not swim in the ocean, for the most part. Mr. Squirrel convinced me to swim with him here on our honeymoon, and that 2 hours concludes my swims in our oceans.
HALLOWEEN
I may have just peed myself. Don’t make me talk about this.
PSYCHO
Haven’t seen it! I think the whole black & white thing makes me (still) think I could handle it, but I probably can’t. It could be one that I end up seeing eventually…stupidly.
SEVEN
I knew I shouldn’t see this movie when it first came out. One of my close friends agreed and called me after viewing it to tell me to definitely NOT see this movie. Thank you for thinking of me.
ROSEMARY’S BABY
Hmmm…haven’t seen this one. Have I finally learned to steer clear? Let’s hope. I do not plan on seeing this. EVER. And good day.
POLTERGEIST*
sweet baby j. Don’t ever see this. As you can see, I’ve seen it several times, owing to my brother’s love of horror movies & us being left alone and what was I to do? I owe my fear of clowns, leaning over the bed to look under it (NEVER do this. EVER. If you need to look under your bed, get on the floor and look from there. Trust me.), and inground pools to this movie.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
In 1984, the commercial for this movie aired way too frequently. In 1984, I had a tv in my bedroom. I think we know where this goes. I saw a good 17 minutes of this film before fleeing to my room to hide under my comforter until my sweaty, shaking body succumbed to sleep.
THE THING
Haven’t really heard all that much about this movie, but I think I’ll make it a point to bar it from future NetFlix lists.
THE EVIL DEAD
I don’t think I’d do well with “evil” dead, when simply dead dead skivs me out. I’ll pass.
CARRIE
Sigh. I knew better.
NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD
Haven’t seen it, and after this review, “the Blair Witch Project of its day,” I definitely will not rent it.
THE OMEN
Yup, saw this one, too. I remember seeing this at a friend’s house. I didn’t see much of the movie, mind you, because of the whole anxiety attack. Needless to say, Damien will not be the name of Cletus McFetus; although, someone in our mom’s group named their son that. I haven’t examined his scalp, but he seems like a sweet kid.
AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON
If I hadn’t read this list, I’d have assumed something campy & silly! Isn’t this the one with Michael J. Fox? No?
HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER
I know I saw part of this movie in college. Who’s idea was it to rent this one? I think I know, but I don’t want to point fingers. Anyway, we didn’t make it very far into the film, probably because my crying and rocking distracted my friends. Seriously. Don’t see it.
THE HITCHER
oh negatory. Hell no. And no.
LOST HIGHWAY
Title sounds harmless, but I’ve now read the synopsis. I won’t be viewing this anytime soon. Just the description terrifies me.
Other moments of sheer stupidity include the movie theatre viewings of the following movies:
The Blair Witch Project
I totally fell onto the bad, scary bandwagon on this film. Me and every other person in my neighborhood, as we crowded the small, independent movie theatre…
Pet Semetary
I have some residual fears involving having my achilles heel slashed by a psycho under my bed from this movie. Thanks!
Scream
Looked so campy & fun. What could possibly go wrong? Famous last words.
That’s with two “l”s, people. Nothing like contemplating jumping on the bandwagon at the last possible minute…but what do you think of me doing NaBloPoMo? This means I’ll post every. single. day. in November, even though on several days, we’ll be driving across the Northeast. Also: I’ll have to contend with and overcome blogging at my parents’ house.
CAN I HANDLE THE NABLOPOMO?? And more importantly, would you want me to handle the NaBloPoMo? Will you support me when if I fail and fall into a shame spiral? Couldya come up with some fabulous topics which I could post about?
Just because I cannot just say no, here’s another post on the subject…
Happy Birthday, dearest Carrisa! Not only do I love Carrisa for her constant hilarity and kind heart (oh, sweetie, you can try to hide it…), she also gives good tongue.
Please make wishing CARRISA a whorific birthday your Saturday priority!
It’s Friday evening, and if you dropped by our house, you’d see us:
1. watching one of Mr. Squirrel’s coworkers on Jeopardy! OMG! So cool! He’s kicking ass (knock knock)!! And can i just tell you…I got the final jeopardy right, too! AND HE WON! YAY YAY YAY!!
2. goo-gooing and gaa-gaaing over Cletus McFetus’ latest sonogram pictures. OH so much love for the little one already!
3. sending happy birthday wishes to SJ at And All the Jones Men — a fellow mother of 2 boys! We’ll be in the same club in March! SJ rocks and you should go over and tell her that while you’re wishing her the best bday ever!
4. also wishing my lunch buddy, Heather B., a fabulous burrito and cupcake-laden birthday! Only 24? Are you sure you want to be this old woman’s friend? Please drop by and wish her a great day & year!
5. watching Heroes on Tivo
6. getting kicked by Cletus McFetus (just me. Not Mr. Squirrel)
7. IMing my beloved friend, Lizzy. Wah I wish we lived closer.
8. considering doing this. But really? Who am I kidding?
I just received this subtle IM inquiry from one of my friends… so I thought, since I now know, maybe I should spread the word to stop the incoming emails, IMs and phone calls! Not that I mind… of course, but here goes…
Jojo will be having a baby brother! Not many of you picked boys, but for those of you who did (sorry, Isabel, you’re too late…and ya cheated, ya cheating cheater of Cheaterville), I’ll pick a winner & send you the placenta in March! Woot!
Now onto baby names. We need massive help with this choice… so in a future post, I will open up the floor to name suggestions (although some ofyou, should remember that my bladder is weak and to think of me in a puddle of my own urine before suggesting funny names.). Thank you.
I just had to tell you. Our power went out this morning…as soon as I stepped out of the shower. Wrapped in a towel, dripping wet and realizing “oh shit. Now I can’t blowdry my hair. Snap.”
Then I realized, “oh shit. I can’t get my car out of the garage.”
This led to, “I can’t get to work and will spend the entire day with my mom and dad again…with my dad sighing and seemingly bored and my mom suggesting we start a bonfire in the backyard with my sister-in-law’s IKEA futon that’s on our back porch.”
And finally, “Oh sweet jesus. How am I going to get to the ultrasound?”
Oh yes. Good times.
You’d think, well, a reasonable person would think (I think. Assuming I’m reasonable.), that the owner of a garage door company (such as the previous owner of our home) would have installed:
a. a remote-operated garage door opener. But no. When we moved in, we had to pull up to the garage, get out, and push the button on the side of the garage. We have since purchased the remote-operated controller thingys. I mean, seriously, dude. It’s upstate New York. It snows and rains here. You were a cheapskate (may he rest in peace).
b. a system whereby contents of said garage are secure, by only allowing the remotes or a key to lift the doors. But no, any ol’ one can just push the button and get into the garage.
c. a flipping DOOR into the garage so if the power is out, or if you don’t want to use the garage doors, you can access the building.
Not that I’m bitter.
So I’m at work with a wet head, going for that air-dried look that doesn’t work so well with my limp locks. Not only that! But my parents drove me to work! That was fun. How many times did my dad sigh and ask where the h our daycare is and why is it so far and isn’t there anyplace closer and OH MY GOD MAN, if you want Jojo to go closer to home, then please fork over the extra $70 a week, ok? And anyways, it’s on the way to MY work; it’s not like I’m driving out of my way to get him to this daycare. For the love love love of god. Does he think I CHOOSE to drive an extra 20 minutes each way to spend more quality (whining) time with Jojo? BAH.
So I’m stuck at work. Without a car. And all I want is a donut. Speaking of whining…
