Archive for October, 2007
-image-Foiled!
Each time I try to log on and post, one of my visiting parents attempts to sneak up on me and see what I’m doing. I know they only love me and want to be a part of my life…but hello? I need to post!
So it’s Wednesday. The day Jojo and I usually head over to my awesome friend N’s house for an early morning playdate. Jojo wasn’t too thrilled when we didn’t walk over to his friend Jack’s house for “apple juice.” In fact, repeatedly, he’s let me know that he “wants apple juice at Jack’s house, mease (please).” Yes, I know. I only give him apple juice when we’re there. I’m a mean mommy.
Instead, my mom and I took him to Target and then onto meet Mr. Squirrel at the pediatrician’s office for his 2 year physical!
There, we waited for waaaaayyyy too long in a cramped, hot room with Jojo in a diaper. Oh what fun. I’m still deciding what was the most fun:
a. entertaining/distracting Jojo and allowing him to go hog-wild on the paper roll
b. talking down Mr. Squirrel from switching pediatricians and arguing that we usually don’t have to wait THIS long
c. ignoring my mom who cast everything with a disapproving eye as she mentally compared every little thing to her own pediatrics’ office (which, I’ll agree, is much cleaner and prettier. But guess what, we find your 13 hour away office a tad too far, plus, it’s out of network!)
GOOD TIMES! By the time our pediatrician made it in to see us, Jojo’s level of whine and annoyance reached an all-time high. We were able to be reassured that his weight and height growth ratio remains in the same arc, even if he’s lighter and smaller than most of his younger friends. Whew. All looks good with the Jojo. After two shots and some ginormous crocodile tears, we picked him up a bagel (“baykurk”). Those crocodile tears get me every single time.
Tomorrow, onto C. McFetus’ exam…of the 3D/4D variety! 2 pm EST — get your votes in now. Will Jojo be getting a little sister or brother? Mama Squirrel will randomly choose a winner for a special Squirrel Family prize!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
7:43 pm |
-image-Jojo’s Big Day
October 22, 2007 | Jojo
Jojo the Wonder Toddler turned TWO yesterday. That’s “dos” if ya watch Dora, which we do. He won’t say “two,” but he’ll begrudingly say “dos.” And when I hold up two fingers, he squeezes them back together to make a fat “one.” My coworker Vera thinks it’s his way of staying young. I mean, when you think about it, he did double his age.
Jojo may take after me in the birthday department — he ate it right up! He completely shined with joy when everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to him, and he hugged all of his friends for coming. Truly, he loved his big day…from the decorations:
Weee balloooons!!!
“BIG DORA! BIG DORA! HUGGIES!!!!!”
to the totally awesome cake:
ok, so he wasn’t too into the hat:
Then we hit a park after a long nap:
mmmm, wood chips taste gooooood.
yes, that’s one of the construction vehicles from his cake…
Yay! I love the slide!
Overall, a spectacular day, and we alll went to bed exhausted. Jojo took an extra long time to wind down from the festivities, and we still have more presents to open tonight (I’m trying to space them out). Whew. Thank you all for the birthday wishes!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
4:13 pm |
-image-He’s 2!
October 21, 2007 | Jojo
But, as his shirt says: 
And he will FOREVER if his overly affectionate mother has anything to say about it!
The party went much better than expected. Full stories and pictures will follow as soon as possible! Thanks for all of the well-wishes! Jojo loves you all and gives you “huggies!”
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
7:51 pm |
-image-One of those mornings…
I had to seriously focus on not going batshit crazy on the cashier at Party City this morning. She was, quite possibly, the dimmest person I’ve come into contact with in a long, long time. My head involuntarily shakes whenever I think of the customer ahead of me, adamant on purchasing this styrofoam head (that, naturally, had no UPC code on it!)…and then the unfathomable idiocy with which the cashier went about obtaining said UPC.
I have to tell you. I’m of the “just give the g.d. styrofoam head to the customer after waiting for, say seven minutes, without a fucking UPC code” camp, but that’s just me.
With every passing customer in the line opposite mine (that obviously, I’d gotten out of in a display of poor line choice), my jaw tightened until I could barely utter my name and phone number for the order of balloons to be picked up for tomorrow morning.
Because YES, Jojo turns TWO tomorrow! Woot!
So I have to return to Party City tomorrow and pick up the balloons (including a larger-than-Jojo sized Dora balloon) and request some money back, since Einstein overcharged me.
Serenity now.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
2:01 pm |
-image-First Video of Jojo EVER!
October 18, 2007 | Jojo
But you have to check it out over here because I can’t figure out how to do it here!
Other stuff pinging around in my noggin include but are not limited to:
1. It’s Lawyer Mama’s bday! Check out the gorgeous picture of Lawyer Mama with her squeezeable son, H; and, read the thought-provoking post that accompanies said cute pic. I believe our friend Isabel went through something like this a few months back. Life can turn out so much different for people we thought we knew SO well. Anyway, I want to wholeheartedly wish the BEST birthday to this sweet woman– come on & join me! Happy bday, Lawyer Mama!
2. I finished this book, and I’m still in shock. It’s fantastic. Amazing. A few reviewers on Amazon think she’s lying or embellishing her childhood memories, but I don’t believe so. Or I’d like to believe she’s not pulling a James Frey, even if that does mean her childhood was as stunningly tragic as she says.
3. Whew. I finally ordered Jojo’s birthday cake! Cross that off my list!
4. And suddenly I’m “we have to get the chimney fixed” and it’s been over 3 years and I had allll Spring and Summer and now…now… yeah. I’m a flipping moron.
5. Did I tell you about the gross roadkill I saw a couple weeks ago? It still haunts me. Trust me, turkey roadkill might be the grossest EVER. You can ask my friend, SandraNotSandy, because she witnessed the carnage, too. I’m kind of happy I didn’t have my camera with me.
6. My father-in-law still hasn’t gotten back to me about attending Jojo’s birthday on Sunday. I’m guessing the Evil that married him will pull out her usual stops to prevent him from spending any time with us, but really? You’re a grown adult and come see your grandson. Do I need to highlight these passages with a suitably bitter font color, or is the bitterness evident?
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
2:52 pm |
-image-Apples: The Love Affair Finally Ends… (and a baby belly picture!)
Ya know how you have a story to tell, so you upload a bunch of pictures and start a post and then suddenly your son doesn’t want to eat 4 apples a day like he used to so now what do you do? Delete the half-written post? Let the pictures go to waste? Oh hell no. Let’s just pretend.
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Here’s the deal. On Saturday mornings, Mr. Squirrel sleeps in; on Sunday mornings, I sleep in. And by “sleep in,” I usually mean “until 8:00 am.” Keep that in mind all ya’ll thinking of having kids some day. But trust me, I heart Sundays and weep with joy when I hear the boys go OUTSIDE (which won’t last much longer…sob) and leave me to a peaceful house.
Anyhoo, below you will see what has become a fine example of Standard Squirrel Family Saturday Activities — Autumnal Edition.
After Mr. Squirrel begrudgingly drags himself downstairs, we dance around in a “yeah, Daddy’s up! Daddy’s up!” mania. Jojo, already consuming an apple, suggests that Daddy needs an apple, too. Although Mr. Squirrel doesn’t want an apple, he grabs one, washes it, and joins us for play in the living room.
Oh, and what? By “play” I mean “finish watching the Top Chef reunion show” Normally, I never watch my shows in front of Jojo, but in rare rebel form, I watched it while he played with his trains. See the apple? The granola bar? Aren’t I a fabulous mom for letting him run around while eating breakfast? Seriously, people. I was a much better mom before I had Jojo.
By 9:00, I’m already scaling the walls. Momma needs out. Considering the ridiculous rate at which our fair Jojo consumesd apples, I suggested we head, yet again, to an orchard. (4 a day. No lie. And if he had his way, it’d be 15 a day. As of yesterday, apples* are dead to Jojo. DEAD!!!!)
Then we pick an orchard. Luckily, we have several to choose from in the 15-minute radius, which is good for when apple picking goes terribly awry and we must head home for some naptime.
Some offer apple-shooting cannons and fields of horses that Jojo tries to feed with old corncobs:
Why you no love my corncob?
Others offer shockingly adorable displays of pumpkins:
Maybe if I try and look super cute, they won’t notice the apple drool on my shirt…
One had an incredibly immaculate port-a-potty…sorry, I make that face in every port-a-potty experience. It’s innate.:
Hmm, this is actually cleaner than our bathrooms. That’s probably not a good thing.
The best part about apple picking? Hanging out with Jojo and letting him try out all kinds of yummy apples. Mr. Squirrel even took notes on the apple orchard map so we’re reminded next year which varieties we like best.
I hope apples make it back to Jojo’s good graces so we can bring along Cletus McFetus in the backpack next year! Big question though– how do we operate the camera with two kids? Hadn’t thought of that…
And yes, that’s me at about 16 weeks:
Is it me, or do he look kinda gangsta with that apple? They grow up so fast…
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
12:14 pm |
-image-When will they learn?
And by “they” I mean idiot asshats (who work here… sopresa!) who ask strangers when you’re due, then gape like a large mouth bass when ya tell them March.
If the vacant bugged out eyes staring at my stomach don’t make me feel fat enough, then the thoughtless “geez, you really popped!” did the trick. I think my startled response went something like “oh thank you for noticing…” then I headed to the car.
Is it too much to print out this picture and bring it with me to confront aforementioned asshats?
Honey, THIS is popped.
In March, instead of apple-picking, which we did the day before Jojo was born, I’ll go to CVS and hopefully break water all over their g.d. check-out area.
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Yes, I’ve started abbreviating or spelling out my swear words.
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Also — and you thought Cletus McFetus was our newest family member? Where have you been?
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And another thing… yeah, so Jojo turns TWO on Sunday and guess which dumbass mommy just remembered that mommy should probably buy a cake for the little guy’s (very small) party? DUH. Maybe I should get a part-time job at CVS.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
8:22 pm |
-image-Sundays are for Winners
like you! You out-captioned yourselves, my friends. This challenge definitely produced the most hilarious fake-Jojo-lines ever! Needless to say, judging the captions required hours of deliberation and two underwear changes.
Owing to Mr. Squirrel’s busy work schedule, this round of What the J(ojo)? hosted a Special Guest Judge! Welcome Special Guest Judge and Co-worker of Mrs. Squirrel, Vera!
Ok, so her real name happens to be something a little less Mel’s Diner, but trust me, Vera can handle the duties of this coveted and venerable role. Vera enjoys a healthy tv addiction (which I wholeheartedly support and enable), a slightly unhealthy love of all things Scranton, a bitter sense of humor and willingness to dine at the finer establishments surrounding our workplace.
After Vera’s careful consideration and input from Mr. Squirrel (who suddenly made time for caption review), Vera & Mr. Squirrel decided that one of Nic’s (many hilarious) captions was the clear winner! Congrats Nic!
Mommy, every time you do something like this to me, you need to put a dollar in my future therapy jar.
Honorable Mentions:
Alison’s “Not only do I love daddy, I wear my pants like he does, too!”
Nic’s “Just wait until I get this diaper off!”
Molly’s “Now where in the hell did my pants go?”
Becca’s “Look at me! I’m Daddy!”
Sweets’ “My brain requires thermal protection. Big thoughts people. Big thoughts. Must insulate.”
Congrats to Nic and all of the fabulous entries. Nic knows the drill, right? Email me your address and a sweet ass present will arrive somewhat shortly! YAY!
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On a related Jojo note… in less than one week, my little buppy will turn TWO. TWO! When did that happen?
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
9:48 pm |
-image-I’ve been meaning to do this…
post the latest* quadrant? nope. Yeah. I know. I completely and utterly suck, Private Practice style. (*oops, from July. I supersuck.)
Reveal the winner of the latest What the J? contest? Um, probably Saturday. Look for it on Saturday.
What I DO mean is this cool book meme which the fabulously curly & cute Miss Zoot just posted. Totally stolen from Miss Zoot! But I don’t think she’d mind…
Here’s the deal:
Bold those you’ve read.
Italicize books you have started but couldn’t finish.
Add an asterisk* to those you have read more than once.
Underline those on your To Be Read list.
Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
Life of Pi: A Novel
The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
Ulysses
Madame Bovary
The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice
Jane Eyre*
A Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the Fates of Human Societies
War and Peace
Vanity Fair
The Time Traveller’s Wife
The Iliad
Emma
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner (on my nightstand!)
Mrs. Dalloway
Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
Middlesex
Quicksilver
Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West
The Canterbury Tales
The Historian
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
The Fountainhead
Foucault’s Pendulum
Middlemarch
Frankenstein*
The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
Oliver Twist
Gulliver’s Travels
Les Misérables
The Corrections
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States: 1492-Present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Beloved
Slaughterhouse-Five
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake
Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye*
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
The Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow
The Hobbit
In Cold Blood
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers
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Because it’s Friday and I feel like sharing (sharing is caring, y’all), I’ll list out my favorite books of all time for you:
1. A Prayer for Owen Meany (If I ever meet Jon Irving, just pray you’re not there to witness the pant soiliage & manic freakout. My other Jon Irving faves include The World According to Garp, A Widow for One Year, and The Cider House Rules…and his sexy gray hair.)
2. The Pillars of the Earth (Buy. This. Book. Now.)
3. Jane Eyre (If I ever meet Charlotte Bronte, that will mean I’m either dead or seeing dead people. Neither are cool in my book.)
4. The Power of One (Boxing, apartheid, South Africa– not my usual fodder, but trust Mrs. Squirrel on this one).
5. The Other Boleyn Girl You would not believe how many historical fiction books I bought after devouring this amazing read…and honestly, none came close to this story (and its sequel). I’m not sure the film based on this book can do the book justice…just like I never saw the remade “Pride and Prejudice.” Well, that and no Colin Firth.
6. I Know This Much is True Heavy and amazing.
I’d love to hear your suggestions, as I’m always up for finding a new favorite author or book!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
3:20 pm |
-image-Latest
Pregnancy-induced Make-out Dream: Rocco DiSpirito. The Top Chef finale takes credit for Chef DiSpirito’s starring role. I still haven’t watched the reunion show from last night, but my fingers are crossed that the perfectly coiffed Casey (and her teeth? So purty) took home the Audience Favorite award.
Ok wait. Sorry. I wrote that dream bit yesterday, so it’s not the latest in pregnancy-related sex/make-out/cuddle inappopriately dreams. Oh no.
Last night? Alec Baldwin. I know. I KNOW. But he was so sexy cuddling me behind a parked car. That’s all. Nothing more.
Tonight I’m watching Grey’s Anatomy– all I can hope for there is McSteamy. Everyone else on cast would give me nightmares…is it possible to vomit in one’s sleep? I mean when you’re not intoxicated?
But I’d prefer Matthew Fox. I haven’t had much luck trying to get my subconscious to take requests (Matthew Fox), but a girl can try. Matthew Fox.
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Also: I stumbled on this picture of Jojo taken one year ago today. We’d just returned from our trip to Hawaii, which seems forever ago, and had taken the little pumpkin to the park. Ugh. Squeezable.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
8:31 pm |
