I scored the ultimate awesomest white elephant gift in the grand history of gift exhanges…
Who wouldn’t love to give this to their favorite relative? Bidding begins at $500.
Thanks for tuning in. Here are some updates and developing stories at Casa de Squirrel…
First, do you remember this post rant from a few days back? Well, at our weekly meeting this morning, this person received the smackDOWN on something she’d been assuming would go her way, even though every.single.person agreed that she should be more flexible (and stop acting like a six year old). Although the entire meeting, like every week, grates on my nerves, just having her so brutally rebuffed made the meeting oh so entertaining. Awkwardness at its ultimate best! Karma, baby, karma.
Now onto Sports. The battle between comedies, Sixteen Candles and My Cousin Vinny turned out to be a barnburner. Although I’m not sure I understand that cliche. The final score: Sixteen Candles: 33, My Cousin Vinny: 2. Ergo, I WIN!
Breaking Weather Alert: We’ve got snow. Lots of snow. Jojo loves snow and “helping” shovel our driveway and the neighbors’ driveways. Momma doesn’t love snow so much.
Also: Big News reported by our sister station about Jojo — read the latest in (bittersweet) developmental awesomeness.
In Daily Routine news, yours truly dropped her hairdryer in the toilet this morning. The dryer was plugged in but NOT on, so I think it will be ok after it dries out. Right? Or is unused toilet water too gross to contemplate? I don’t know. I’m not sure I can fit in a Target run before the blizzard!
And finally, three months until Cletus McFetus’ due date. THREE MONTHS. AHHHHHH!
Please settle this argument between Mr. Squirrel and me:
Which comedy is more critical to have viewed/be included in your movie-trivia repetoire: My Cousin Vinny or Sixteen Candles?
I hate one of my colleagues, which is why I just sent back a happily worded “helpful explanation” full of understated “I HATE YOUs” for why I missed a 2.5 hour boring training yesterday. Since I was sick and knew that I would not be able to stay awake for 2.5 hours of boring lecture and have more and more in my to-do box, I decided (because, ya know, I’m an ADULT), that I would email the two trainers in advance of the training and apologize for any inconvenience, but … yadda yadda … I wouldn’t be attending the training. Is it more rude to do what I did or attend the training and fall asleep, because I knew I would. Plus, I would have been blowing snot rags and going to the bathroom every other second.
So now my manipulative, tattletaling colleague sent out this hand-slapping email to EVERYONE (she’s good at the “to: all” emails that don’t need to go “to: all” yet then we “all” know that a few people fucked up!), and I just want to punch her in the face.
Speaking of which, a few months back I did dream that I punched her in the face, and boy, let me tell you how good that felt.
In the spirit of the holidays, let me just get this off my chest: i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her. i hate her.
i hate her.
I feel better. Thank you.
How can it be? We’ve already labored through nine rounds of What the J? Is that a tear in my eye? Grab a tissue. Or is it because I’m getting sick again, gdi? Who cares! Let’s play!
Just as I strolled down the Memory Lane of Quadrantland (and yes, I haven’t finished that yet), let’s take a trip down the What the J? Winner’s Row…
WTJ #1: Our inaugural What the J(ojo)? contest came about in June, and Mr. Squirrel selected SugarTits as the winner of our first (of many) exciting competitions:
WTJ #2: Soon after, we jumped into another contest and Heather came out on top with this winning caption:
WTJ #3: Sandy won the third What the J? with this caption (and can I just say, as a sappy mommy, that this picture melts my heart and makes me want to reach through the computer screen, scoop the sweaty little boy up in my arms and cover him in kisses until infinity? bah. gush.)
WTJ #4: As CPA Mom/Soccer Mom Angela demonstrates with her winning caption, like SNL skits, sometimes simple and short comedy works best:
WTJ #5: Our second winner from Texas! This time, W*rdg*rl captured the essence of Jojo’s hushed discussion with the Easter bunny:
WTJ #6: In one of my personal favorite photos (introducing Cletus!), Carrisa whipped ya’all’s butt with her wit:
WTJ #7: Barnmouse…how DID you know this? Bravo.
WTJ #8: Nic thinks she’s sooooo funny, doesn’t she, with her caption? (Yeah, ok FINE…she IS funny. Damn her!)
WTJ #9: It’s a twopeat, people! One hott Texas mama, SugarTits, won this round without even drawing her pistol:
AND NOW… I’m sure you’ve been inspired by the awesome prize-worthy photo captions shown above and now you, too, can attempt to woo Mr. Squirrel with humor and make it a life goal to not only WIN one of these damned contest (and all prizes and accolades forthcoming) but also prevent her from scoring a threepeat!
Here’s your chance… caption this:
I haven’t got the time/energy to post about the fabulous trip to NYC/Martha Stewart YET. I will! I promise! I’m suffering from some serious uploading from the laptop issues.
In the meantime, please check out the before/after pictures of Jojo’s most recent haircut.
BEFORE:
Tomorrow some friends and I are off to NYC to see a taping of this lady’s show. Mother Nature threatens us with snow and ice, but we’re not deterred. We’re taking the train afterall, and we all know the stellar reputation of America’s rail lines. ahem. So, wish us luck.
We’ll return on Tuesday. I don’t really know what to expect, but I’m bringing my camera and a cute little notepad that Sallyacious sent to me (for witty observation documentation– also, THANK YOU, Sally! I love them!).
It’s 8, and I have to hit the sack. I’m exhausted from a long day of not showering.
Or as Jojo will remember not-so-fondly, the Day My Parents Took Me for My Fifth and Most Emotional Haircut Ever. Then we made the grandiose mistake of stopping by a new toy store and having the audacity to (gasp) leave after playing with their toys for over 30 minutes.
It was one of those throwdown shoe-flying tantrums.
Now we’re home. Bagel in hand (his). Cool drink in mouth (me — I burnt my effing tongue on coffee yesterday). Football on (Mr. Squirrel). And all I want to do is sleeeep since I’ve been up since 3:18 with the pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel/arm-shoulder numbness.
Last evening we put up the tree. Christmas this year will be Jojo’s third — and the FIRST time that he’s interested in the decorations. Three have bit the dust so far. THREE. And we’ve only just begun.
Santa, please add “Shatterproof nonfugly ornaments” to my list. Thank you.
