-image-hi from Canada

December 27, 2008 | holidays

We’ve been in the van for over six hours, on the way to Christmas #2 with Mr. Squirrel’s family.

To keep the holidays sufficiently crazy, it was decided to meet up in Canada,m at the falls, since no one lives there and we’d all have to bring appropriate I’d (one person has already missed one’s flight because of forgotten passport…awesome!).

Our kids have issued their own protests via scrambled eggs and orange tinged vomit volcanoes (Jojo) and Xtreme Crying/fussiness (El Nuggeto).

Not to be outdone, I’ve not only peed in a toddler potty in our car, but I’ve also climbed into the backseat of a moving minivan to breastfeed an irate, strapped-in baby. Thank you, Honda, for the pulldown sun shades.

Thanks you to Blackberry for allowing me to post on the open and smooth Canadian roads.

Let’s never speak of this trip again…until I post later about Christmas and casinos and ginormous waterfalls.

-image-I’m Stupid. Here’s Why.

December 19, 2008 | random randomness

I kind of lost the list of people who wanted a Squirrel Family Holiday card, so I’m winging it. Basically, if I have your address and think you said you wanted one, then you’re getting one. Also? I sent my parents two cards cuz i smart.

Another reason? Did WordPress change and/or why is it different to post pictures? It’s a pain and I don’t know what I’m doing.

-image-November…I nominate you

December 15, 2008 | Confessional,Me

National ReEvaluate Your Meds Month.

Who’s with me?

-image-Awesome Ornament Exchange!

December 10, 2008 | friends,holidays

SORRY Julie for not posting this sooner — I received my AWESOMELY PERFECT ornaments from your Secret Ornament Exchange a couple of days ago!

Lo and BEhold, my good interwebbian friend, the sweet SJ, had been given my name for the exchange! She picked out the perfect pair of ornaments for this blogger! Lookee — a sassy squirrel and ginormously glittery acorn.

Me lovey.

The picture doesn’t do them justice — trust me, they’re beautiful and wonderful and will remind me of the good friends I’ve made, the fun I’ve had and the joy that blogging brings me.

Thank you Julie and SJ.

-image-Swear to Circus of the Starz

December 2, 2008 | bitterness

if these fucking workers wake up the Nugget with their fucking LOUD TALKING I WILL BLOW IT, people. BLOW IT. SHUT YOUR YAP HOLES.

-image-Just Sitting Here…Getting Dumber

November 30, 2008 | a girl's gotta shop,holidays

An hour or so ago, while I wasted yet more time on Facebook (or maybe it was when I was stuffing my face full of TollHouse Pie, which, um, can you blame me?), my husband played one of the cnet podcast thingies on our Tivo and exclaimed that YES! That’s what he wants for Christmas! There’s an idea!

RUN WITH IT! And AND AND it’s only like $35.

I glanced up and kept on stuffing my face and/or Facebooking. I don’t remember. I was so busy eating/FBing while also attempting to be nonchalant so that he’d think I wasn’t really paying attention but then OH HELL YEAH that’s what you’re opening up on Christmas morning BOOOOYEAH WHO’S THE BEST WIFE EVER?!

Before I had kids, I could have pulled this off without a hitch. I had the memory. I had the money. I had the energy to yell BOOOOYEAH.

Nowadays, I barely shower, have racked up well over $400 in missed appointment fees with two different doctor’s offices and can barely complete a sentence without having to cock my head to the side and squinch up my face and eyes to squeeze out the thought.

I shouldn’t be surprised, then, that it took me a good hour to remember at least the basic concepts of this gift. Here’s what I got: it was black, had a plug, a screen that displayed numbers and it was like $35. It might have had something to do with reading energy output or electricity. I know. You think I might need help (on several levels), and you, my friend, are correct.

I also tried the Pretending Not To Pay Attention Surprise Gift Trick with some electronic pen that reads what you’re writing and will download it to your computer later thingy (that’s not it’s real name…if you can imagine that). This gem was brought to him by David Pogue, so I emailed him. He hasn’t responded. David, if you read my blog (ha!), please…my husband’s entire Christmas rests in your hands. Or memory.

I’ve taken another step in figuring out these two elusive gifts…I also emailed cnet tv. Let’s see if either organization responds and makes this Christmas a techy and merry one for the Mr.

Now, before I get even dumber, I gotta go to bed. Well, I have to read the third book of the Twilight series. I don’t even know the name…I just know I was suppose to read it next. Seriously. My IQ is falling fast. Someone grab a net.

-image-Confessions…I’m Getting Good at These

November 26, 2008 | Confessional

1. I’ve eaten McDonald’s for lunch the past 2 days (Jojo, only once, so don’t get all high and mighty)

2. I totally failed NaBloPoMo by not posting yesterday…well, plus the day before, Mr. Squirrel posted for me because I was too sick and tired to post. So yeah. Oh well.

3. From 5:20 until 6:54 this morning, I watched QVC with The Nugget. I didn’t purchase anything. It took great restraint.

4. I had a most disturbing dream that I have since entitled (and only because for now, it cannot be repressed) “Stacy and Her Disturbing Subconscious Make a Porno.”

-image-Emergency Post

November 24, 2008 | Mr. Squirrel

On day 24 of National-Blog-For-An-Entire-Month-Month, Hollow Squirrel faded into a mere shell of her former self. Was it the bronchitis, two active boys, little sleep or a night of too much tequila celebrating the New York Football Giants’ win over the Arizona Cardinals that sapped the will to post from the H. Squirrel?

No. Really, which was it? (Answer below)

At long last, the burden fell on Mr. Squirrel to carry on through the darkness and make sure that not all that is good in the world would fade so quickly and so near to the ultimate goal (80% to be exact). Like Samwise Gamgee to Frodo Baggins, I could not carry Mrs. Squirrel’s burden, but I could post for her. For one day (queue dramatic music), I could carry forth her dreams and aspirations. For one day,I could let her go to sleep a few minutes earlier only to be roused by a screaming Nugget seconds after slipping into bed. For one day, (fade in waving American flag) I would answer the call and fufill the promise that lives inside all of us. For one day, I would post on Hollow squirrel and make my voice heard. A lone post among the cacophony of I-must-blog-every-day-for-a-month-month.

I realize there is only one chance to make a first impression. And clearly, I’ve already lost most of you. As you can tell, the Missus is my better in the “humor department”, among many other “departments”.

In the brief time I have left i will leave you with the following pieces of advice:

1) Invest in lithium mining companies.

2) TiVo – If you don’t have it, get it.

3) Turn off lights you don’t use – it’s amazing how much energy we could all save if we used only what we needed. Lights are an easy example, once you’ve mastered that one, conserving other things becomes a lot easier.

4) Heroes – Not as good as it used to be… but give it the benefit of the doubt.

5) A good offensive line is the key to a good football team, yet you hardly EVER hear about those guys. There’s a very important life lesson there: The fundamentals are critical, even if they are not glamorous. I wish that when people teach football they would focus more on this aspect. I feel surprisingly passionate about this.

6) You should respect H. Squirrel’s posts a lot more because her keyboard sucks. I blame it for any and all typos in this post.

7) Foosh.

Art is like Jenga… all the pieces have been known for centuries, the novelty comes from how new generations put them together. BTW – this is #8 but somehow a smiley face shows up – I’m so uncool for not knowing all the shortcuts to the emoticons.

9) Value learning – always. Education is the key to success in the future. This is especially important to all of you with kids (like me). I feel unsurprisingly passionate about this.

10) The answer to the question in the first paragraph is: All of the above except the Tequila-aided Giants celebration.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Mr. Squirrel

PS – Did anyone catch the irony of the “shell” comment in the first line? I thought that was pretty clever. G’night.

-image-Post and Bed

November 23, 2008 | Me,Mr. Squirrel,NaBloPoMo,the homestead

This NaBloPoMo was going fine until we got all sick here at Casa de Squirrel.

Well, Jojo seems to be fairing ok, but The Nugget fusses from his eye infection, sinus infection and bronchitis. Mr. Squirrel feels better today after having a miserable cold yesterday, and I’m sharing The Nugget’s eye infection and bronchitis. Of course, that’s self-diagnosed, as my symptoms came on after returning from the doctor’s on Friday.

Friday evening, despite the Nugget’s diagnosis, Mr. Squirrel and I went out on a date by ourselves. We were testing out a new babysitter (one of the teachers at Jojo’s school). We couldn’t let that availability pass us up, and she insisted she’d be fine with a fussier than usual Nugget.

When Jojo found out Miss R was babysitting, he literally jumped for joy. It was beyond heartwarming. We were only gone for 3 hours (but oh how good three hours alone with Mr. Squirrel can be!), and only went to eat and do some window shopping.

But it was awesome.

When we got home, BOTH children were asleep, and according to Miss R, they were “perfect.” She even washed the dishes.

For $10 an hour, this babysitter far exceeded our expectations, perhaps because the reality of our other babysitter involves only being able to babysit Jojo (the Nugget is too heavy for her to lift) and Jojo dictating to her what he wants done.

The “Other” babysitter adores Jojo, and he her, but she lets him rule the roost and doesn’t know how to say “no.”

She means well, I know she does, but I have to let her go in that capacity. She’s elderly and on a fixed income, so I’m going to continue to have her over, but for dinner with us.

We’ve done that once recently, and it went really well — she gets to see the boys and gets a big warm meal in her. I don’t think she eats well the rest of the week.

I’m so excited Miss R will be able to help out since she’s wonderful with kids and loves our boys. I’m also excited to spend some alone time with the husband. We definitely need to get back into that habit — putting our marriage back towards the top of our priority list.

Hopefully the Nugget will be better tomorrow. That poor little pumpkin is still as sweet as can be even when he feels like the southern end of a northern-bound donkey. Me on the other hand? I’m a big ol’ beyotcha, which is why I’m heading up to bed…because the more sleep, the better for this sicko.

-image-Can I Count that Towards our Medical Flexible Spending Account?

November 22, 2008 | "project!",Me,NaBloPoMo

My hands hurt. I have psoriasis, which causes some nasty patches of dry skin on my hands, knees and back of neck (yeah, I don’t know why). The patches on my knees just look like I spend a lot of time on my knees, which, my husband can tell you, I don’t.

The patch on the base of my neck could be eczema, which I had most of my childhood…maybe it’s the last hangers-on?

But the psoriasis on my hands…damn, that’s some painful stuff.

Yesterday, I had to take the Nugget with me to my doctor’s office to have my hands checked out.

I didn’t think I could last the weekend without some of the skin breaking open and bleeding. It’s happened before. Not pretty.

My dreams of being a hand model have been shattered! Well, it doesn’t help that I chew my fingernails, too. But still. Cross that off my list.

My doctor suggested I SuperGlue my skin together so that the three or four areas which keep cracking open stay closed.

I don’t know. Does anyone see any potential STORY! disasters in that plan?