Names: The First Cut is the Deepest
January 7, 2008 | Baby Making,Mr. Squirrel
94 names you gave us to cull through. NINETY-FOUR! Not bad, peeps. I didn’t list some of the names which were obvious jokes (Plaxico? Sorry, dude.) or lists from your daughter’s preschool class (lordy…some of THOSE were bad, too!).
But here’s the list and now I will reduce it with my magic powers of magicness (oh, and Mr. Squirrel’s rare comments come in a pretty BLUE flavor!):
Abraham — I know someone would nickname him “hammy,” so no go on Mr. Lincoln.
Adam — Mr. Squirrel likes this one because it’s the name of the bassist in our favorite band.
Aiden — like the name but it’s way past overplayed here. As Hall & Oates would say “no can do. No, I can’t go for that. Can’t go for that. Can’t go for that. Can’t go for thaaaaaaat.”
Alec — (not) possible.
Alex — beautiful name but family member already has this name.
Andrew — I like the name, but I don’t want “Andy” as the everyday name…but Drew would work.
Ashton – “and no ‘and then!’” Negatory.
August – long story short: no. But it’s a beautiful name. I just cannot possibly do it, though.
Austin — cute but not for us.
Barrett — too “last namey” for Mr. Squirrel.
Beckett — like it & the nickname…we’ll see what the Mr. says. (conflicts with last name)
Ben — name of next door neighbor boy. No.
Blake — nope.
Braden — nope.
Bram — Stoker’s Dracula? I’m scared of Dracula. Ergo no. ———->
Brendan – hmmm not bad
Bryan — kind of too rhymey with last name.
Cameron — too gender neutral
Carmine — I know you were kidding, right? Cuz all I’m picturing is “the Big Ragu.”
Carson — Pirie Scott. See how my mind works? No go.
Carter — will always remind me of my 9th grade speech on Jimmy Carter where instead of saying “Jimmy Carter’s fault” I said “Jimmy Carter’s fart” which led to an outburst of laughter thereby waking up our nasty old bitch of a teacher who had fallen asleep in the back corner and she got all pissy thinking I’d made fun of her and gave me a bad grade. That’s a no on Carter.
Casey — too girly. But I love it and do know a guy named Casey.
Cason — like it for someone else, but I kind of have to keep it simpler.
Casper — um, have you seen how white I am? This is not a good idea.
Cayden — too many possible misspellings…
Charlie — it was Mr. Squirrel’s dog’s name.
Chase — this reminds me of a college friend’s boyfriend from high school who her new college boyfriend renamed “Verb.”
Clay — Andrew Dice… hickory dickory no.
Cole — like it. (Slaw)
Connor — I don’t think I’d ever remember if it’s an “or” or a “er” at the end, so yeah, no.
Cooper — pooper. Sorry. I’m 4 years old.
Corban — (the barbarian)
Dante — (‘s Inferno)
Darien — (B+) Wow, I can’t believe Mr. Squirrel likes this one. I’m actually quite shocked and think it’s funny he’s grading the name.
Davin — I dated a guy whose roommate had this name. SO no.
Derek — most Derek’s I know are jackelopes (sorry! I’m sure your husband/brother/cousin are NOT these type of Dereks).
Devon/Devin — no no no. ONLY because my friend dated one for several years and he, too, suffered from severe jackelopery.
Drew (B+) I concur, Mr. Squirrel.
Eli – love. (although, we have a gooood friend named Eli pronounced “ellie” who is a guy, and we’d rather have that, but I’m sure he gets called “Ee-lie” all the time, so not sure…
Elijah — love.
Elliot – love.
Finn — LOVE. But I don’t think Mr. Squirrel likes it as a “full” name.
Galen — mispronunciations and misspellings probably plague this name.
Grant — like it, but not sure if it’s for us.
Gregory — not feeling it.
Griffin — LOVE this name and could use “Finn” as nickname! Double bonus.
Hans — nope.
Henry — love the name, but someone I know and love already has it for their son!
Holden (Mr.Squirrel’s 11th grade video arts teacher… so no)
Ian – like this one a lot.
Ira – kind of weird with our last name…trust me.
Isaac — I like it, but I don’t think Mr. Squirrel does.
Jack — too many in our area
Jackson — goes for the longer version, too…
Jacob — like it.
Jake – like it even better than Jacob!
James — l.o.v.e. this name, but we have several friends named this or with kids named James/Jimmy, so (sigh)…
Jasper — like it, but not for my little one.
Jesse — Jojo already has a bf named Jesse; this might confuse him.
Jonah — I LOVE this name. LOVE IT.
Joshua — Mr. Squirrel doesn’t like it; I’ve tried selling him on this name for years.
Kieran — I know a girl named this. And no.
Kirk — Cameron? no.
Kyler — too close to “Kyle” for Mr. Squirrel’s liking.
Liam (B) Is this getting too popular, though? Discuss.
Luke (B+) Love this name, but we have a close one in the family named this and don’t want to repeat.
Matthew — not doing it for me.
Michael — my brother’s & my FIL’s name.
Milo — Mr. Squirrel rolls his eyes at this name. I like it. (Venus De…)
Mitchell/Mitch — Baywatch. Nuf said.
Nathan — I’ve grown to like this one…
Nicholas — SORRY, but I’ve never liked this name. I KNOW. I think it’s leftover from Eight is Enough or something…
Noah — did you know this was going to be Jojo’s name up until Mr. Squirrel looked down and said, ‘he looks like a Jojo?’
Oliver — love this name, but there’s already an Oliver with our last name…in SWITZERLAND… but Mr. Squirrel doesn’t want a repeat, even if his cousin is quite the lovely young man. Ugh.
Owen — love this name like it were my own beloved’s name…but it’s kind of too played in this area.
Parker — Posey, Party Girl? Love the name. But, it’s too last namey for Mr. Squirrel.
Patrick — dude. I dated a Pat. For like 3 days. No. Go.
Peter — neighborhood kid.
Philip — reminds me of someone I don’t like.
Phoenix — too whack for our family, but lovely name.
Pierson — too many misspelling opportunities.
Quinn — Dr? Medicine Man?
Rhys — waaay too rhymey with our last name.
Schuyler — I thought this was a girl’s name?
Sebastian — Mr. Squirrel has a cousin named this, and he’s kind of weird about repeating names in the family. Plus, it makes one of my readers “horny.” I’m not kidding.
Seth — As much as I like the name, I’d always think “Death Breath Seth” which people called this guy (with bad breath, apparently) in high school.
Simon — I like the name, but it doesn’t really sound good with our last name.
Tate — like it. I’m sure my mother would h-a-t-e it and I can just imagine the look on her face. Gah.
Timothy — not bad.
Thomas — Mr. Squirrel’s middle name!
Tobin — I love this name. LOVE it.
Todd — Mr. Squirrel vetoed this. Send him the hate mail.
William — as much as I LOVE the name William (and Will as the everyday name), I can’t do this because it’s getting overdone in this area. Sniff.
Zane — again, trying to keep it simple. (that’s inzane)
Whew. That took some time. I’m going to cut down the list AND add some off my own list (which doesn’t necessarily mean mine are a go) (and this may not be all the names), but for now…let’s work with this:
1. Drew
2. Elijah
3. Elliot
4. Griffin
5. Ian
6. Jake
7. Jonah
8. Liam
9. Micah
10. Nathan
11. Noah
12. Owen
13. Tobias
14. Tobin
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January 7th, 2008 at 3:33 pm, Becca Says:
What is it with Dereks? I can’t remember ever thinking, “That Derek, he’s a nice guy.” In fact the most recent Derek I know was the last guy to rent the house we live in now and he was W-E-I-R-D in a show up unannounced and a little drunk at 10:00 pm on a weeknight because he left something in the garage kind of way.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:35 pm, Nic Says:
You have a GREAT list of names. I know several Andrews who are just Drews or Andrews, which is my preference. I also love Griffin, with the nickname Finn, but you knew that.
Micah is another favorite of mine. If I ever spawn, that will hopefully be in the running, as will Tobias, after Toby Zeigler on the West Wing because I have really big issues.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:37 pm, Marilyn Says:
That’s a pretty good initial list! Here’s my input on Liam:
We used William, as it was my dad’s name but didn’t want to have a Bill or Will. So his nickname is Liam and that’s pretty much what everyone calls him. Most people might even be surprised to find out his name is in fact William because they’ve only ever heard us call him Liam. LOL!
It fits him PERFECTLY, and I love the name even more now.
I don’t think it’s too terribly popular because we often either have to a) spell the name out because they aren’t sure they heard it right or b) listen to them squeal about what a great name it is.
Did anyone suggest Harrison? That’s my other son’s name, and Harry is a fantastic nickname.
But again, I’m biased. 
January 7th, 2008 at 3:41 pm, Heather B. Says:
Ian, Jake, Liam, Noah, Nathan and Owen are all incredibly popular. I’m not a fan of incredibly popular names because I’ve spent my entire life known as Heather B. so that others could tell me apart from the 17 other Heathers in my class.
I love Griffin and Elliot though.
And Plaxico? On the one hand, he would be destined to have a great running game on the other hand, his name would be f*cking Plaxico.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:42 pm, Heather B. Says:
As I was writing my comment I was shaking my head at Plaxico and then thinking of your last name and put the two together and choked on a piece of ice. Because OH MY GOD that would not be a pretty name.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:51 pm, Carrisa Says:
Well if you aren’t going to pick Brock Lee then I’m a fan of 3, 7, and 14.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:53 pm, Jennifer Says:
Darn, I meant to comment yesterday. How about “Max” or “Sam”? There’s something simple and appealing about both. (okay, maybe that’s because they could also be dog names?)
January 7th, 2008 at 3:56 pm, thedailystroll Says:
Um eew on Brendan. F.U. Mr. S on Cole. Casey was mean to me in HS. Darien is very dungeons and dragons. Finn was our boy name for Ruby- what about Finnegan? Finnegan Dale? Aww. Oh Then Griffin!! HA! Winner!!! Aww I named your baby!!! Aww.
Liam too popular trust me, in my job I see it A LOT (Tori Spelling?). Nathan is super popular and then he will get asked if it’s Nathaniel… Tate sounds like an axe murderer, Todd is like “THE TODD” from Scrubs.
January 7th, 2008 at 3:57 pm, Rachel Says:
Gah, all of mine got vetoed! Oh well, I guess that means I get to keep them!
January 7th, 2008 at 4:04 pm, Lizarita Says:
1. Reminds me of a skinny kid.
2. L.O.V.E.
3. L.O.V.E.
4. Do ya’ll watch “The Family Guy”??? Their last name is Griffin.
5. Hello? 90210 anyone?
6. Meh..it’s okay.
7. Whale.
8. Too popular. Haley and Bella each have one in their respective classes.
9. I knew someone named Micah once. She was reel purty.
10. Doesn’t mesh well with your last name.
11. Meh…okay.
12. Wilson? Big nose?
13. L.O.V.E.
14. L.O.V.E.
I’m just sayin.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:18 pm, Stephanie Says:
Okay I am chosing to discuss Liam. The only one I know is actually a William blah blah III so in order to make him have his own name, he goes by “Liam” for short. I quite like.
January 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm, Isabel Says:
Your final list is exactly what mine would look like.
(Although you can’t have Elliot. I’m still trying to talk The King into that one. I love it long time.)
January 7th, 2008 at 4:25 pm, Audrey Says:
Good list of names! I love that my suggestion (Jake) made it! Also? I was THIS close to recommending Griffin. So I’m gonna take partial credit for that one, too.
I’m glad you rejected Ben. Not that there’s anything wrong with that name, but for the past 3+ years, I’ve been unable to think of it as anything other than a dog’s name. I have to bite my tongue when meeting a Ben so I don’t say “That’s my dog’s name!” And sometimes, if I’m talking to a Ben, I have to be careful not to say “Beeeennnnnnn!” all cutesy like I do to my dog. My sister-in-law is now dating a Ben. This does not bode well for me and my potential to embarrass myself at family gatherings.
January 7th, 2008 at 5:45 pm, Erin Says:
So glad you liked Griffin.
And I agree about Jack and Jackson…WAY too many of those at my school this year.
January 7th, 2008 at 6:45 pm, My Buddy Mimi Says:
I like Drew and Noah. There is a Drew University, so you can get all kinds of shwag with his name on it. Are you prepared for the onslaught of Noah’s ark-themed stuff if you name him Noah though?
January 7th, 2008 at 7:21 pm, Liz Says:
Elliot, Jonah, and Liam. Those make my list.
I love Elliot, we have a good friend named Elliot and it’s a nice name for a baby and a lovely name for a man. Liam is getting more common. And I LURVE Jonah, but very biblical and The Mistah doesn’t go for that.
Also? Mr Squirrel is getting a great big WHATEVS from me. WHAT.EVS.
January 7th, 2008 at 8:20 pm, velocibadgergirl Says:
I love this, but I’m kind of sure I’ll go nuts later when you refuse to tell us which name you chose! (Can we help you pick a nickname for him, too?
)
January 8th, 2008 at 7:27 am, Stephanie Says:
Griffin, Liam, and Tobin…my picks. I love, love, love Griffin. Liam too. It’s not too popular around my neck of the woods. And I had never heard of Tobin, but that is a great name! Good luck!!!
January 8th, 2008 at 7:46 am, Jeannette Says:
Great post dear, funny as always.
Here is my opinion on the final list:
1. Drew – not a fan
2. Elijah – I will always associate with Elijah Wood; he dubbed one character of the movie I worked on; I once had to Fedex him something in London, his incognito name was Smith!
3. Elliot – Ness? + Isabel wants it
4. Griffin – pfff nah
5. Ian – Gandalf?
6. Jake – good one although sounds a bit like the last name. And of course hoping Cletus will be as cute as Gyllenhaal
7. Jonah – not a fan
8. Liam – thedailystroll has a point. Plus I think it’s too similar to Jojo
9. Micah – does it pronounce like the singer Mika?
10. Nathan – L.O.V.E, still my first choice, even if popular
11. Noah – might be considered
12. Owen – L.I.K.E, would be my second choice
13. Tobias – reminds me of the Spiderman dude
14. Tobin – idem
Hard thing for me is that I almost associate each name with a celebrity even if I didn’t write them down. But that’s just how my mind is.
Also, even if Jennifer didn’t participate in the first round, I must say I like Sam a lot.
January 8th, 2008 at 8:01 am, jill Says:
If i had to pick from those, it would be Micah. We had a kid in our school named Micah, who was really nice to me. Until he died. Heart defect. Nothing anyone could do.
for some reason i dont like boys names that start in vowels like ‘o’ no idea why, or ‘e’ for that matter.
You could do Nathan and then use ‘nate’ or ‘nat’ – i dreamed i saw the dude i knew named Nat mostly naked last night – but i always have weird dreams… and i never got close to seeing that guy naked. i considered him an adult, he was probably only 5 years older than me, but that was plenty!
you know, i guess i’m not very helpful today… sorry. weed them down again and i’ll play better, i promise!
January 8th, 2008 at 8:28 am, Erika Says:
Tobias or Tobin…you could call him TOBY? HOW CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
January 8th, 2008 at 11:38 am, Deanna Says:
How about Chancey?
January 8th, 2008 at 12:15 pm, SJ Says:
You have a fantastic list there my dear. And I think it’s funny that you and your hubby do the same exact thing I do – immediately associate it with SOMETHING. Or someone. I got a kick out of your rundown that’s for sure! You’s one funny lady! And so with that random dribble – I say go with Tobin. Me like.
January 8th, 2008 at 1:12 pm, Keri Says:
I love Tobin. LOVE it.
January 8th, 2008 at 2:08 pm, Amy W Says:
I don’t know how to name boys, so you don’t want my input.
January 8th, 2008 at 11:20 pm, motherofbun Says:
Death Breath Seth… Ahahahaha. That is SO funny. I think I might have woke up my child. I guess I should make my Seth brush his teeth alot as he gets older. heehee.
I love the comments you have behind these names. Highly amusing.
January 9th, 2008 at 3:25 pm, Liza Says:
I do have to agree that there are a LOT of Noahs out there just now. I was trying to avoid the top 10 most popular, and I think I failed. Also? Many ark themed gifts, plus my son is now on the Your Source for Everything Jewish catalog mailing list. (Which is lovely, but not really culturally appropriate.)
January 11th, 2008 at 4:17 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Hi. I’m Cletus… Says:
[...] heard you’re trying to name me… good luck with that! I know my mommy pretty well already, and she won’t be able to [...]
January 12th, 2008 at 10:03 pm, liz Says:
i love elliot the most…we’ll probably use it in the future. my husband has much love for elliot smith – not exactly the most cheerful of namesakes, but whatever. my brother-in-law is named tobin, but he goes by toby which is somewhat inevitable, i think, and you would not believe how often people say “oh, i know a dog named toby!” when he introduces himself. i like the name, but it is kinda doggish.
January 15th, 2008 at 6:43 pm, Rhi Says:
Thank you ever so much for not including Zane in the final list. I am not a fan, as I had a poopy ex boyfriend by that name.
But, my fab current boyfriend’s brother is named Tobin (Toby sometimes) and that name is excellent. Love it.
January 24th, 2008 at 8:16 am, Hollow Squirrel » Names…the fun continues Says:
[...] Name this Cletus game continues to cause consternation at our house. With [...]
February 15th, 2008 at 9:49 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Names…Not Much Progress Says:
[...] Name Game…not really going anywhere, to be [...]