A Very Squirrely Quadrant
January 28, 2008 | Quadrant Plotting
My, my — weren’t we opinionated on the daddy-to-be, sweaty, stoned and bongo-playing bohunk Matthew McConaughy! I think we should put some of you (crazies) who think he’s your boyfriend (I mean, yes, he totally is) together so you can cage-fight it out. I can live blog the asskickery…maybe even videotape it and post it on YouTube! YES!
Featuring the most participants in previous Quadranty… let me introduce: Quadrant #8: Your reactions to poetry (x-axis) and Matthew McConaughy (y-axis):
Check it ladies. You love you some MaMcCo! Who woulda thunk it? You don’t have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out that I’m on the non-lovin’ end of that continuum. I just cannnnooottttt get past the constantly sweat-glazed chest and park bench push-ups and his manner of speaking. But I’m in the minority, as you can see all you horndogs hanging out at the top of the quadrant.
I’m siding heavily with Liz and these eloquently-worded feelings on our subject:
‘we made a baby!’ who says that shit? but seriously, it’s less him that i loathe and more the bajillion shirtless photos of him prancing on the beach and gazillion “news articles” about him living in a AirStream. who gives a crap? Just sayin.
As for poetry, we’re fairly split. We either hate it (hi, that’d be me…again…with the loathing) or are “meh” about it, although a fair number of you intellectual types love it. That’s fine. Enjoy the difficult stuff while I snicker at There once was a man from Fungholio (see, I can write it! I be a poet!).
I really tried to plot all fifty or so of you correctly…and hopefully I didn’t accidentally leave people out of the Quadrant like last time (SORRY RACHEL!!! I’m a turd!)
Check out where you are on the Quadrant. And no worries if you’re not sitting in the Hate Zone with me. I still love people even in the far off reaches of the opposite corner…I see two of my real-life bffs there now (hi ladies!).
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January 28th, 2008 at 3:00 pm, Jessie Says:
I do so love your “Loathin’ Matthew McConaughy” graphics. That made me laugh out loud and get a weird look from my office-mate.
January 28th, 2008 at 3:50 pm, Sugar Tits Says:
I used to love MaMcCo with all my being, but as of late, I find he overexposed (in every sense of the word). Maxum recently referred to him at Matthew McKindagay. I thought that was funny.
January 28th, 2008 at 4:19 pm, Audrey Says:
I think this is the first time I’ve failed a quadrant. I’m glad we can still be friends. But now I see that you’re not going to react well to my celeb-boyfriend-swap idea. What if I offer Johnny Depp for the swap instead of MaMcCo? (Also, if he was always referred to as MaMcCo? I would totally hate him just for having such a douchbaggy nickname. Because that’s how I roll.)
January 28th, 2008 at 5:27 pm, Isabel Says:
I think this is the first time you and I aren’t neck and neck.
January 28th, 2008 at 9:40 pm, Ree Says:
I plan on bringing the duct-tape. I don’t want to hear him talk, I just want to look at him!
January 28th, 2008 at 10:23 pm, Poodle Says:
Um, are you not a red-blooded woman any more? How can you not find that attractive? The dimples. The sparkly eyes. The ROCKIN’ bod. The drawl.
Yes, he’s totally weird beard though. I know.
January 29th, 2008 at 1:42 pm, Rachel Says:
Phew, I thought maybe I had been banned from the Quadrants!!!
January 29th, 2008 at 2:27 pm, Kristabella Says:
I puffy heart Hollow Squirrel’s quadrants!
January 29th, 2008 at 10:05 pm, Eris Says:
You know what makes my hatred of poetry rock even harder? Emily Dickinson is a distant cousin of mine.
MaMaCoHo? Vomit inducing. Icky. The other ladies can HAVE him, we all know Desmond from lost is my one true love.
January 30th, 2008 at 1:07 am, Heidi Says:
The ROCKIN’ bod. The drawl. The receding hairline…the horrible grammar…
As excited as I am to be the CORE who is holding this axis together (rock ON with my bad self!), I think after reading that little excerpt you posted today, I’m leaning more toward the “MaMcCo is a douche” (love the graphics–laughed out loud) side of the Y axis.
January 30th, 2008 at 1:12 am, SJ Says:
God I love the quadrants! Love them.
January 31st, 2008 at 3:27 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Why I like making lists, in list format. Says:
[...] do you understand why I don’t find MaMcCo attractive? Beefy blondes just ain’t my [...]