-image-Add “Interpreter” to my Job Description

April 29, 2008 | Jojo

“Mommy, pigs in my nose” doesn’t make much sense until you look in the rearview mirror and see your son picking his nose.

Jojo has also begun the eeennndddllleeesss series of “Whys.” I’ve noticed it takes 4 Whys for me to run out of knowledge or at least top of mind lies. Then I shrug an “I don’t know, Jojo” and move onto distraction — “look, Jojo! Dump truck!”

AND that’s all I have for you today.

-image-Day 10: PoopWatch 2008

April 27, 2008 | The Nugget

Hooray! I have pooped! Thank you for your bowel-related thoughts and well-wishes during this uncomfortable time.

I dedicate this fec’ to you.

Hugs,
The Nugget

-image-Day 9: PoopWatch 2008

April 26, 2008 | The Nugget

Please dear Lord. If you are listening, grant me a poopie. Thank you.

-image-I smell poop.

April 23, 2008 | Jojo, The Nugget

I say this a lot. Like today.

Places I’ve cleaned up poop today:

1. the shower curtain
2. the bathmat
3. my fingernails
4. Jojo’s bum and legs
5. my shirt

Please don’t ask for details. I need the time to disinfect again.

The Nugget, on the other hand, hasn’t crapped since Thursday. He’s on the every 5-7 day schedule which means that 99% of his week involves apparently painful bowel crampage and lots of red-faced, unproductive pushing. Oh, and copious amounts of really really really foul gas.

I’m not sure which infant poop situation I’d rather have– what the Nugget goes through seems (gauging by his blood-curdling screams) painful and, even though I’ve been assured it’s normal, it kind of bothers me. Let’s poop it on, kid. You’re gotten the nutrients, now let it go.

On the other hand, Jojo stained every outfit in his first few months with amazing shooting poop — up and out the back of his diaper, several times a day. Maybe that’s why Jojo hangs out on the skinny side of the growth chart while the Nugget packs on the pounds.

As for the poop smell, I need to take our Diaper Champ out back and hazmat it. It reached its stink-stifling tipping point last week and emits wrong wrong wrongness no matter how I try to mask the fetidness with Lysol. Wish me luck.

-image-Web Bizniz

April 22, 2008 | blog business, random randomness

Some matters to “get out there”:

1. Sorry for the quotes. I mean it in jest.

2. Please stop posting until I’m finished catching up on my Google Reader. I’m down to 139 posts. So…until I give you the go-ahead, cease and desist from hitting PUBLISH thanks. You’re a peach.

3. My header. It’s still gone. I need help. I just need to pop something up there you know what I mean? Help? I’m asking you. Please?

4. I’m currently playing Scrabulous with three people, and I’ve been waiting all day for your next moves. What gives? Also? Do you cheat? What constitutes cheating with an online game that provides you with all 2 letter words AND the option to check to see if a word is valid? My opinion? Those are fine, but using an external webpage designed to take your letters and generate a word? Not fair. Your thoughts?

-image-SATC

TV/movie addiction, friends

Yesterday I saw the trailer for the Sex and the City movie and can I just tell you my friends and I are already plotting which day we can get our butts to the concession stand for buttery popcorn theater?!

Another blogger found this quiz, but I can’t remember who. Sorry. Apparently, I’m this mixture of the women:

50% Carrie
20% Miranda
20% Samantha
10% Charlotte

I’d say that’s fairly accurate. What about you? You’re all Samantha, aren’t you, you saucy minx.

Are you excited for the movie? Please say yes and promise not to give away any spoilers. Ok? Deal.

We’re also planning another day for the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler movie, Baby Mama, — have you seen that trailer? I laughed outloud. I was going to link to the site, but it’s loud and I wouldn’t do that to you workin’ folks. That one arrives at the theaters this Friday. I have got to make it out for this one, too.

-image-Wet Cleavage

April 21, 2008 | The Nugget

Both upper and lower, or back and front cleavage. Whatever.

The Nugget daily spits up down the normal cleavage, but today, he reached new lows when he spit up over my shoulder and down into my low rise jeans, creating a fetid, warm stream down into my ass crack.

Lesson? I think I need to bring back the jumpsuit. Clearly, that’s the only solution.

-image-Jojo, Version 2.5

Jojo, family

Hola. Sorry for the absence, but finding time to blog with my parents in town and not letting them in on the blogging life of me seems rather tricky. See, if they found out I blog, well, it would verify that I use the f word far too often and every. single. person remotely connected with my family would find out.

Not only can my mother not keep a secret, but my dad would find some reason to be proud of my blog and slip it into every conversation. We cannot have that.

So. They’re gone. *Sob* It was a lovely visit, complete with basement playroom construction (the framing is 90% complete), back porch primer painting (thanks, Dad! Not that you’re reading this!), lots of one-on-one play time with Grandma and Poppa, clean laundry, clean kitchen, ironed clothes, banana bread, brownies, amazingly nutritious and perfectly-timed meals, and a guest room that ends up being cleaner after they leave than it was when they arrived. Seriously, my parents left our house before 8am and my mom had already started the washer with the sheets in it AND cleaned the guest bathroom.

I KNOW! Too bad I don’t have the “clean” gene.
=====

Oh wait. What was the title of this post? Oh yes, Jojo turned 2-1/2 today!! Before 7am today, Jojo already had a list going of aaa-dorable things he’s said and done. Let me begin:

1. First food request/declaration of the day, usually “I neeeeed something to eeeeeat” changed to the specific “I want need hot cocoa.” Yes, he wants needs it. That’s his new thing. And, considering hot cocoa contains lots of healthy milk, he scored some. He loves himself the whipped cream, too, so yeah, that’s healthy, too, right? Good.

2. While drinking the hot cocoa, he looked over at me and said “I want to share my hot cocoa with youuuuu” and he actually let me drink some. I’m melting.

3. Before we made the hot cocoa, his heavy diaper almost dragged on the ground, but he didn’t want to take precious time away from hot cocoa making or whining for Dora to get a fresh one. While the milk heated up in the microwave, I told him to meet me in the bathroom to get a new diaper. Per usual, he darted off to hide from me in his typical hiding spot, behind the guest bed. Instead of chasing him in there or pretending to have a hard time finding him, I told him that when he was ready to drink hot cocoa and watch Dora, we could change his diaper and then get going with the day. I emptied the dishwasher, made some coffee and still, the kid hid from me. He usually can’t remain quiet for that long, so I went to see him and the little munchkin had fallen asleep in his hiding place, butt up in the air, crack showing, on the ground next to the guest bed. That had never happened before, and I was torn — do I chance waking him with the camera flash or not? Instead, I bolted upstairs to find Mr. Squirrel, who met me at the bedroom door with an “OMG what’s wrong” look since I never take the steps two at a time. No worries, though, Mr. Squirrel… he loved the non-emergency downstairs and by the time we did turn the flash off on the camera and ready to take the adorable shot, little Jojo had awakened. Bummer. But still, so stinkin’ cute.

Happy half birthday, my big boy. I adore you.

-image-Out of Office Assistant, Enabled

April 15, 2008 | Me, random randomness

Thank you for visiting www.hollowsquirrel.com. I will be unable to post while my parents are visiting, even though they’re here and have been since last Friday and, obviously, I’m posting.

But you know what I mean, right? I can’t really delve into the deep topics (baby poop, people who piss me off, Matthew Fox) with the same intensity and poor sentence structure I usually manage while they’re over my shoulder or peppering me with questions or wanting to go for walks out in the sunshine. Sheeeesh.

In the meantime, chew on this: my mom brushed the Nugget’s hair into a wickedly soft looking fauxhawk (adorable!) and Jojo has taken to digging holes in the front yard and trying to pee on the potty as much as possible in order for mommy to buy him the Jesse and Bullseye dolls.

Promising a toddler a beloved “big prize” (his words) for potty training has backfired…or maybe I’m just not doing an adequate job explaining the delayed gratification concept to Jojo.

-image-Best Question I’ve Ever Been Asked

April 11, 2008 | friends

Why is Baby Nugget eating your taters?

Oh Ruby, how I love you.