What’s Going On
May 21, 2008 | Jojo,The Nugget,The Office
My friend Nic said it was fairly obvious, but she didn’t want to say anything until I was ready to admit it myself. But yes, I’m having second thoughts about returning to work.
You saw it, too?
ugh. blech. ACK.
This whole procrastinating on the daycare bit was so obvious to everyone except me. I just kept plugging ahead (with visions of lunches out with colleagues and unfettered time on the internet adult conversation) with my plan to return to work.
I don’t know. With no spots at any respectable daycare and my one referred nanny not returning my email (ok, I could probably CALL her, but there goes that avoidance again), I’m thinking I may just need some more time at home.
When I started my part-time position when Jojo was a baby, he was actually 9 months old. He wasn’t that interested in breastfeeding anymore, which made the transition to daycare/bottlefeeding so much easier. He could also sit unsupported and Gollum-like crawl, so I was reassured that he could play by himself of crawl away if he wanted a certain toy or person at daycare.
The Nugget, on the other hand, is completely dependent on me (or anyone taking care of him), and ack, I don’t know. I’d never considered having a nanny because of the Lifetime movies, but now I’d rather have someone come to our house and love both boys than take the Nugget to a daycare where the ratio of teachers is higher.
Plus, the thought of pumping at work skeeves me out. Currently, my big ass office (with all the nice grad students on their way out into the ‘real’ world…which? WAH I miss them. COME BACK. GRAD SCHOOL IS MUCH BETTER THAN THE REAL WORLD…COME BAAACKKKKK!) has a lock and would be great for pumping, but in a few weeks, we’re moving offices (oh, and that’s not going to generate any stories, right?).
My new “office,” I’m fairly certain, is a cube…you know how it goes when you’re not getting any news about it, since they don’t want to tell you the news? Yeah. No news about the new offices is not, in this case, good news. Plus, the bathroom for all of us is off the lobby to a waiting room, so I can’t be commandeering the one unisex (blech) bathroom several times a day for ten minutes each time. My God gross.
So. Can you tell I’m lining up the excuses? Why am I trying to convince you that going back is a bad idea? I need to come to terms with this apprehension and just fill out the paperwork to extend my time off. Maybe until I’ve negotiated a temporary office (with door at least; a lock would be a bonus) to pump…and until I’ve secured daycare placement (or nanny) that excites me.
Anyway, how long after I post this will my BestWorkFriend Vera call me in a panic? I’m placing bets on 13 seconds…
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May 21st, 2008 at 1:38 pm, Becca Says:
That is such a hard decision. I work from home and the thought of pumping still exhausts me. On the other hand, a part time position is a great way to keep one hand in your career while still having time with your kids. Hopefully you can extend your time off, like you said, until you are more comfortable with whatever decision you end up making. And FWIW, Charlie went to part time daycare starting at eleven weeks and did really well. It was hard on me for a little while but then I started to see some real value to the experience for both of us. I totally see where you are coming from though… a nanny sounds like a great solution!
May 21st, 2008 at 1:39 pm, Kristabella Says:
Do what you gotta do. If you don’t feel comfortable going back just yet and can afford to extend it, do it! It is pretty clear you don’t want to go back just yet, so I say fill out the paperwork!
Or not. Do whatever you want.
May 21st, 2008 at 2:36 pm, Rachel Says:
If you are having second thought or are not completely comfortable, then you should wait a bit. Why go to work, just to spend you day unhappy and worrying?
May 21st, 2008 at 2:37 pm, motherofbun Says:
Oh My gosh, woman. Your boys are growing so fast. And both are absolutely adoreable!
May 21st, 2008 at 2:39 pm, motherofbun Says:
Oh and yeah, that whole unisex restroom? Ick. Oh and trading an office for a cube? DOES SUCK. (Did that years ago at an old job.) Just hope that (if you do go back to work) you don’t have any of those loud talkers next to you who like to use the phone. ALOT. Gah.
May 21st, 2008 at 5:16 pm, Ree Says:
Working from home a possibility?
May 21st, 2008 at 6:21 pm, Susan in va Says:
(*jumping on my soapbox*)
NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE THOSE TWO ADORABLE, PRECIOUS LITTLE BOYS AS MUCH AS YOU DO!!!! THIS TIME IN YOUR LIFE IS VERY BRIEF – IT WILL PASS MUCH QUICKER THAN YOU THINK. YOU WILL NEVER REGRET STAYING AT HOME WITH THEM A LITTLE LONGER, BUT YOU MAY ALWAYS REGRET IT IF YOU GO BACK TO WORK TOO SOON. YOU WILL HAVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE TO WORK!
(*hopping off my soapbox*)
I know you’ll make the right decision
May 21st, 2008 at 8:39 pm, Poodle Says:
Word. I second Susan. You DO have the rest of your life to work. These babies will only be babies for a short time!
Geez, I have a hard time psyching myself up to go back to work after a long weekend. I can NOT even imagine what kind of a mind-F 3 months off does!
Do what you gotta do. You know our rule though – just be available via e-mail!
May 21st, 2008 at 9:04 pm, Bethany Says:
Maybe you can get laid off too.
May 21st, 2008 at 10:49 pm, Frema Says:
Hot damn, Stacy, are your boys cute.
Moving from an office to a cube does suck. I had to do it at my job, and I miss my big shiny desk and window. And if I were in a position to be pumping at work, it would be totally awkward for me, too.
Good luck with whatever you decide.
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:17 am, Molly Says:
Good luck with whatever you decide.
I just couldn’t resist popping in to say that’s one awesome picture of Jojo!! Also, The Nugget has some fantastic cheeks. That is all. ;o)
May 22nd, 2008 at 9:24 am, Liza Says:
Ah, Stacy, it sounds like you are convincing yourself — and I don’t mean that in a bad way.
Whatever you decide, and for however long, your boys are going to do wonderfully. How could two such adorable creatures not???
May 22nd, 2008 at 10:29 am, Dugi. Says:
Don’t u hate it when people give u a definitive opinion on an issue and then add “u know the right decision”/ “you know what to do” / “do what u like” / “good luck with ur decision” / “whatever u decide will be right”/ “either way u are a great person” etc etc?
ahhh!!!
well i do anyway. :/
That’s why I love people who say it as they see it and don’t care what u think. it’s surely a “take it or leave it” approach.
~~~~~~~~~~
your boys look super cuteeeee!!! Can’t believe how fast nuggests growing.
May 22nd, 2008 at 11:11 am, Julie Says:
I think you’ve already made up your mind!
May 22nd, 2008 at 12:37 pm, MommasWorld Says:
Staying home might be the better choice. Which ever makes you happy will be the best for your family. I am a little afraid of nannies too. This is due to media not any real live nannies.
May 22nd, 2008 at 6:36 pm, alison Says:
beautiful, beautiful children…
May 23rd, 2008 at 11:52 am, jill Says:
i’m fairly certain that companies with x number of employees HAVE to provide a safe, lockable place for you to pump. dont idea of the value of x though. umm…
i’ve been kind of busy to keep up with your nugget due to the rampant sickness my own future nugget is causing me. but i’m caught up now, well at least for today…
May 23rd, 2008 at 8:02 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Didja hear, little brother? Says:
[...] « What’s Going On [...]
May 28th, 2008 at 6:52 pm, Karen Sugarpants Says:
Hey doll – I can’t find an email address for you. Can you email me?
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:54 pm, SJ Says:
Mrs. Squirrel. You do what you gotta do – if your heart is at home and no longer in the office, then stay home.
You know if you can and all. I wish I could. *sniff*