Choose Your Own Addiction
September 22, 2008 | Me,TV/movie addiction
Not too many people know these couple of things I’m so into right now, as I’m kind of embarrassed by them, so why not just tell you. You’ll keep my secret, right? Thanks!
The Rachel Zoe Project. How’d this happen? I’ll be the first to admit, I knew she was a stylist to the stars and then something happened when people were shitting on her (figuratively) and it was fun (for others) to hate on her. That kind of piqued my interest, but I also thought “so what. How can this be good?” Oh Stacy. I watched one episode, found her tone irritating, her seemingly faux-accented, uncombed and terribly rude assistant needing a kick in her arse, and well, I canceled the Tivo Season Pass immediately. Done, I exclaimed! DONE! I don’t need that. OR sooo I thought. I don’t know what pulled me back, but I cannot wait for Episode 3. Yes, Rachel’s tone and word selection bugs, but her passion for clothes and shopping sprees keeps me glued. Her new assistant Brad is so sweet and so rightfully frightened of Taylor (the rude assistant), and Taylor…well, she got a talking to for being a big ol’ messy brat. How did she get the job? That’s my goal for watching the show. Because seriously? How did she get the job? I’m not seeing her qualifications — like perhaps an innate fashion sense? Nope. Um… yeah, but she can text pretty fast. That must be it. As a soon to be unemployed American, I would like some lessons on How To Snag a Kick Ass Job and Still Be a Big Ol’ Whiny Bitch and Score Some Cool Swag in the Process.
Make Me a Celebrity on Facebook. Seriously. Stop me now. I’m at the Viper Room, adding peeps to my entourage, working as a car show model to buy myself some nice Chopard bling and my first Hollywood studio apartment. Should I spend my hard earned cash on a $60,000 Hermes crocodile Birkin or save it for a pricey Chippendale (of the furniture variety)? Or use it for a comedic coach to improve my craft. Somehow, I have five dogs, a boat and several cars (including a Hummer). I don’t remember buying them; maybe I scored them during some fortuitous celebrity run-in while working as an extra on a sitcom. People, I’ve been busy. But I’ll remember you when I get big. I promise.
One of these time wastes has to go. I’m going to send one packing — vote it off my island so they say — let’s see. YES, I’m going to delete Make Me a Celebrity from my Facebook applications TODAY. I haven’t even opened The TimeSuck that is Facebook today because I knew I’d want to work major gigs and check on my entourage in between diaper changes to make it to the BigShot level, and honestly, this is no way will help me with any of the pathetically lame short term goals in my REAL life (like cleaning off the dining room table just once a month, putting away the bills, let alone PAYING the bills). So goodbye MMac, and sorry to those in my entourage. It was fun while it lasted, but this girl is leaving Hollywood for Upstate New York and settling down with her family.
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September 22nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm, Sallyacious Says:
I so hear you on the “where the hell did the time go?” aspects of the internet. This morning, I had all sorts of plans, but I thought I’d just create a blog post before I got going. THREE HOURS LATER, I have a new post. WTF? Three hours? I have got to get some new hobbies.
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:28 pm, Nic Says:
I’ve been watching the Rachel Zoe Project as well. Something is wrong with me.
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm, Jennifer Says:
This post is like a chain letter of guilty addictions, I’m feeling oddly compelled to check yours out!
My two guilty addictions:
“Flipping Out” (between seasons right now)
and
Banana Laffy Taffy’s
September 22nd, 2008 at 3:18 pm, Britt Says:
I don’t know what either of things things are that you are obsessed with (will research momentarily) but the way you say, “People, I’ve been busy!” makes me chuckle.
September 22nd, 2008 at 7:03 pm, Poodle Says:
Wow, you HAVE been busy. A Birkin bag, Chopard jewels, AND 5 dogs? Surely, you’re mad. You CAN’T stop watching Rachel. Please? At the very least, you get some good Hollywood gossip and get to see pretty dresses. Frickin’ LOVE that show.
I had a horrific door-flinging-wide-open episode in a public bathroom this weekend where I was l.i.t.e.r.a.l.l.y. caught with my pants down and I did my best Taylor impersonation when Rachel’s studio was flooded: “OH MY GOD!!! OOOOOOOH MY GOD! BRAD!!!!!!” That Brad is a doll but I’d probably want to pummel him too if he kept eff-ing up.
September 22nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm, liz Says:
Oh lordy I just hooked on to Rachel Zoe…and I LOVE Brad and HATE “Tay,” she’s a b*tchb*tchb*tch who cannot manage herself, her time, or anyone else’s for that matter.
And RZ herself? She’s a hot mess. And yet: I cannot pull myself away from that traffic accident. She’s a 40-something woman claiming to be in her 30s but her wrinkles give her away and she speaks like a 15 year old silly queen from Nebraska doing a bad Valley Girl accent. “I could just DIE. D.I.E. Dead! OHMYGAWD!” Seriously, neither becoming or professional.
And yet.
And yet: totally set my TiVo.
(And like Jennifer, above, I also recently got turned on to Flipping Out. Jeff is HILARIOUS. At first I thought he was truly ill, and then I found the level of his sarcasm and illness so effing charming and lovable. I want to do shots with him. And then probably slap him. But, I digress…)
September 22nd, 2008 at 7:34 pm, Maria Says:
No no no – you are not voting it off the island – you are, in Rachel Zoe speak going to “shut it down”. But only if you say that in the uber flat tone of voice that she has perfected.
September 23rd, 2008 at 2:43 pm, Jennifer Says:
Okay, now my super secret addiction, Dr. 90210. I want to feed Dr. Rey’s wife a sandwich, a butter and mayo and bacon sandwich. How can anyone be so skinny? And there’s just something haunting about her… like I have the feeling she has some deep, dark secret. And Dr. Rey, with the open shirts and necklaces, he’s so… god, I can’t even think of a term to describe him!
September 25th, 2008 at 8:21 pm, Hollow Squirrel » 7 random things GO! Says:
[...] I have successfully stayed away from Make Me a Celebrity on Facebook since dumping it. I have a lot more time on my hands, you know, to become addicted to another [...]