-image-Current Favorite Nugget Picture

October 15, 2008 | The Nugget

The Nugget at 7 Months…a cute overview

-image-I think I broke my toe

October 13, 2008 | Me

Any of you with Facebook know that I’ve been complaining about my broken toe all weekend, but seriously… if it still hurts, that probably means I broke the little effer, right?

It’s the little piggy and people, it’s squealing. Mind you, it’s no “smash your fingertips in a bad music club incident and see the white hot light of pain flash before your eyes while your fingers immediately turn into thick black sausages and then huddle crying in a corner while some asshat tries to hit on you but DON’T YOU NOTICE THAT MY FINGERS ARE BLACK, I MAY BE A TAD INEBRIATED AND OH YEAH MY FINGERS ARE SMASHED?!?!” But, my toe still hurts.

I’m not sure there’s anything that can be done, so that’s my TV Medical Degree talking, so I’m just waiting out the pain. It’s not like pointing east or anything, so that’s a good sign, and I can wear my patent leather birks, so at least I don’t limp.

Anyway, that’s my reason for not posting my big long FAQ about my glass eye…which is not really glass. So here’s your chance to ask more questions and/or tell me what a big ass whiner I am about my toe (which, let me just answer this one for you: I ran into our bed. In the daylight. Sad, really.).

-image-that’s not going to come out.

October 10, 2008 | random randomness

I think she carried a tube of toothpaste in her pocket, too. Bad move, sistah.

At least there won’t be that nasty tartar buildup.

-image-Bananas and Minty Fresh Ass

October 9, 2008 | family,Jojo,random randomness

On a flight home on Tuesday, my mom sat next to another mom traveling with her 3 year old daughter. Unlike most travelers, this THRILLED my mom, as she loves children and talking to parents about children (and her own children and grandchildren). Actually, she’ll talk to anyone, anywhere at anytime about anything. Kids (especially her own or her grandchildren) are her favorite topic, though.

ANYHOO, at the end of the flight, my mom told the little girl that she loved her dog-shaped backpack.

The little girl happily replied, “And I like you! I like your hair — it’s the color of bananas!”

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Mr. Squirrel came home for lunch today — something he does as often as his (stupid) work schedule allows. While we downed way past gone leftovers, he noticed the half-used tube of toothpaste on our coffee table, which I’d been ignoring all day. He grabbed it and informed me of his intentions to maintain high standards of dental health while away from home. Bravo, Mr. Squirrel, bravo.

When I asked him over dinner later how his new clean mouth regimen was going, he told me that “oops” he forgot that he’d put the tube of toothpaste in his BACK POCKET and was wondering where that minty fresh smell was coming from. Yeah.

So then he tried to clean off the toothpaste from his office chair, but it was foaming up and not very easy to get out. Yeah, tell it to my friend Andrea & her fourth grade picture. Toothpaste…it’s a bitch on fabric.

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I couldn’t find Jojo the other day after putting him down for a nap.

At first when I looked in on him, I assumed his adorableness was under the covers, but I couldn’t locate any stray limbs. Hmmm… I checked under the chair in the corner, then the closet.

Each new location increased my freak factor. I checked the hallway, our bed, under our bed, our closets, everywhere. I checked the tub, the toilet (yes) and then I had to sneak into the Nugget’s room. He wasn’t there, either.

My stomach had that not so fresh feeling. I ran downstairs and asked my mom if it were possible for Jojo to have come down when we were cleaning or organizing or hanging up the new curtains (another post altogether). No. Not possible.

Back up I went. I must have missed something. somewhere. JOJO — WHERE ARE YOU?

whew.

Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @ 8:14 pm | 16 Comments  

-image-The Grape Said “No Thank You.”

October 8, 2008 | Jojo

And that concludes the story Jojo told in the car yesterday.

The story stars a purple grape, and it went something like this:

Hi little grape. You want me to eat you? You go in my mouth, down into my tummy, then out my p*nis and my bum. You want me to eat you grape?

No thank you.

The grape said “no thank you.”

I just love his manners. Sigh.

-image-Things that happen to me, that don’t happen to you.

October 4, 2008 | Me

Yesterday at Panera while eating lunch with my husband, I rubbed my eye and it almost fell out.

Like really almost fell out. Because, as you may remember, I have an artificial eye — a prosthesis — and I rubbed it just so, and I had to quickly manuever it back into the socket so I didn’t end up with Creamy Tomato and Glass Eye soup.

-image-Can we agree on a certain font to indicate sarcasm?

October 2, 2008 | Uncategorized

The sunflower Halloween costume from Pottery Barn has been marked down — so now it’s only $95! Whew! Maybe I’ll get 2.

What the heck? I can’t craft my way out of a paper sack, but I’d rather tackle a red plastic plate lobster costume than fork over $100 (don’t forget the shipping) for a costume. Sweet serenity, people.

As my my boys? Jojo plans on being a lion (again…ROAR), and he wants the Nugget to be an elephant (thank you, Old Navy, for your cute and reasonably priced Halloween costumes. I’ll stop complaining about your useless knobby things in the fitting rooms for a few weeks. Bye bye. Stacy)

And yes, the red plastic plate lobster costume idea is a pipe dream. I do not want to have red plastic plates littering my dining room table for the next 3 months. I know my limitations.