Emergency Post
November 24, 2008 | Mr. Squirrel
On day 24 of National-Blog-For-An-Entire-Month-Month, Hollow Squirrel faded into a mere shell of her former self. Was it the bronchitis, two active boys, little sleep or a night of too much tequila celebrating the New York Football Giants’ win over the Arizona Cardinals that sapped the will to post from the H. Squirrel?
No. Really, which was it? (Answer below)
At long last, the burden fell on Mr. Squirrel to carry on through the darkness and make sure that not all that is good in the world would fade so quickly and so near to the ultimate goal (80% to be exact). Like Samwise Gamgee to Frodo Baggins, I could not carry Mrs. Squirrel’s burden, but I could post for her. For one day (queue dramatic music), I could carry forth her dreams and aspirations. For one day,I could let her go to sleep a few minutes earlier only to be roused by a screaming Nugget seconds after slipping into bed. For one day, (fade in waving American flag) I would answer the call and fufill the promise that lives inside all of us. For one day, I would post on Hollow squirrel and make my voice heard. A lone post among the cacophony of I-must-blog-every-day-for-a-month-month.
I realize there is only one chance to make a first impression. And clearly, I’ve already lost most of you. As you can tell, the Missus is my better in the “humor department”, among many other “departments”.
In the brief time I have left i will leave you with the following pieces of advice:
1) Invest in lithium mining companies.
2) TiVo – If you don’t have it, get it.
3) Turn off lights you don’t use – it’s amazing how much energy we could all save if we used only what we needed. Lights are an easy example, once you’ve mastered that one, conserving other things becomes a lot easier.
4) Heroes – Not as good as it used to be… but give it the benefit of the doubt.
5) A good offensive line is the key to a good football team, yet you hardly EVER hear about those guys. There’s a very important life lesson there: The fundamentals are critical, even if they are not glamorous. I wish that when people teach football they would focus more on this aspect. I feel surprisingly passionate about this.
6) You should respect H. Squirrel’s posts a lot more because her keyboard sucks. I blame it for any and all typos in this post.
7) Foosh.
Art is like Jenga… all the pieces have been known for centuries, the novelty comes from how new generations put them together. BTW – this is #8 but somehow a smiley face shows up – I’m so uncool for not knowing all the shortcuts to the emoticons.
9) Value learning – always. Education is the key to success in the future. This is especially important to all of you with kids (like me). I feel unsurprisingly passionate about this.
10) The answer to the question in the first paragraph is: All of the above except the Tequila-aided Giants celebration.
Thanks for putting up with me.
Mr. Squirrel
PS – Did anyone catch the irony of the “shell” comment in the first line? I thought that was pretty clever. G’night.
RSS feed for comments on this post.
TrackBack URI
November 24th, 2008 at 10:47 pm, Poodle Says:
HI MR. SQUIRREL!!!! Thanks for posting. I learned so much. Godspeed to the wife.
November 24th, 2008 at 11:42 pm, Sweets Says:
Glorious posting Mr. Squirrel. Good to e-see ya! Loved the Lord of the Rings reference. Why? Well, because I’m a geek, that’s why. Also, I would agree that Heroes has really been biting the big one this season. I was just about to give up on the show entirely, but your post (and the waving American flag) gave me the courage to forge on. Thanks man. Sending buckets and heaps of love to the whole squirrel clan yo.
November 25th, 2008 at 1:21 am, Britt Says:
Mr. Squirrel just made my day!
November 25th, 2008 at 8:05 am, jezer Says:
The dramatic music and waving flag at the beginning conjured up imagery that had me giggling aloud. I don’t do that often.
I have fallen off of the blop wagon myself, and I think Mr. Squirrel is grand for carrying the Mrs.’s torch while she is abed. Thank you Mr. Squirrel, and feel better soon, Mrs. Squirrel.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:21 am, My Buddy Mimi Says:
Heeee… I was in a job interview once where my potential future manager was describing the different members of his staff as a football team (and where I might fit into the team). I couldn’t help myself and interrupted him to talk about the value of the offensive line, which he had omitted from his “lineup.” I did not get the job offer
November 25th, 2008 at 12:00 pm, Kristabella Says:
Excellent work Mr. Squirrel!
Also, I wholeheartedly agree about the offensive line. I used to work for the 49ers and the o-linemen were always my favorite people. Unsung heroes. “The People’s Line” is what we called it.
November 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm, jill Says:
i love a man who appreciates a good offensive line. thanks for giving stacy a break
November 25th, 2008 at 5:04 pm, Ree Says:
Aw Mr. Squirrel – you did so well!
Now, about these stock tips?
November 25th, 2008 at 7:32 pm, sallyacious Says:
Mr. Squirrel, you are a grand fellow to be offering your services while the missus is sick. I hope your whole family is back in the pink quickly.
I really enjoy your “voice,” by the way. Thanks for being there.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:30 pm, Bethany Says:
Good job Mr. Squirrel. Hope the Mrs. feels better soon.
November 26th, 2008 at 2:47 pm, Hollow Squirrel » Confessions…I’m Getting Good at These Says:
[...] « Emergency Post [...]
November 26th, 2008 at 2:59 pm, Rachel Says:
Wonderful post, Mr. Squirrel! Much better, ahem, I mean, almost as good as the Mrs.
I have to agree with you on the offensive line. If you have a crappy offensive line, you’re quarterback is getting sacked on every play and if by some miracle he doesn’t, there’s not gonna be a whole lot of rushing yards.
December 5th, 2008 at 11:17 pm, audrey Says:
Great post, Mr. Squirrel!