-image-Our House…in the Middle of the Street

November 16, 2008 | Mr. Squirrel,NaBloPoMo,the homestead

Our street is only three blocks long (or short). It’s a nice tree-lined three blocks with varying houses, all pretty well taken care of.

Two of our neighbors have Competitive Lawn Syndrome, which I find highly irritating. One of these neighbors also suffers from Competitive Driveway Syndrome. I’ll be the first to tell you: I’d eat off his driveway. Honestly, he washes it more often than I clean the floors in my house.

I think both of these men find our yard and driveway to be irritating.

We don’t have high-powered lawn mower and weedwacker. When we bought the house over six years ago, he insisted on buying one of those old school push lawnmowers with the rotating blade. We don’t rake and bag the cut grass. We just let it compost on itself or whatever. I don’t know. All I know is that the blade is set too high, so we have to mow all the time. But Mr. Squirrel likes it because it doesn’t pollute the air or our ears with the noise. There’s nothing like a loud, smelly lawnmower to turn Mr. Squirrel into a grouch.

Our Competitive Driveway and Lawn Neighbor, who is known to be rather crabby himself, stopped by a couple months after we moved in to offer us his used gas lawnmower, as he was buying a new one. I think he thought the new youngins in the neighborhood couldn’t afford a “real” lawnmower. Now he just thinks we’re the new young hippies in the neighborhood.

Then there’s our driveway.

We have the only gravel driveway on the entire three block stretch. Patches of grass (and weeds) split the gravel, so it’s more like a country lane (as my husband describes it), and he loves it. It reminds him of the driveway at his house growing up in rural France. He hates all of the black tar driveways. I can see his point during the summer.

On rainy, icy and snowy days, however, I’d much prefer the blacktop. When it rains, these ridiculously large puddles form in front of our garage doors; so I have to jump to a small dry spot without slamming my face and body into the closed garage door, reach up and hit the door-open button, then manage to either jump back across the puddle or try not to fall into the puddle but stay dry. I’m not skilled.

When it snows, we have to shovel the driveway, and even though it doesn’t look like a long driveway, it actually is when you look at the other garage placements on the street. We don’t have a snowblower (again, too loud & too environmentally unfriendly). Sometimes neighbors blow our driveway for us, but that usually ends after one time when they realize that the gravel kicks up and dulls their blades. Oops. Sorry!

So we end up having to shovel and/or just driving back and forth over the snow to flatten it. But after the first couple of snows, we get lazy, and the driveway turns into two deep, icy grooves, kind of like a double-luge.

It is, in essence, a deathtrap. Just imagine having a toddler and being super preggers trying to waddle down it with a diaper bag throwing your balance off, too. Good times.

As long as I’m pointing out the negative features of a gravel driveway, let me just say that Jojo can’t pedal his tricycle or any of his riding toys on it. I’d really really like to have a smooth driveway next summer, but it probably won’t happen for a while.

In the six years we’ve lived on this street, no one has erected one of those inflatable holiday lawn decorations.

I fear, people, we may be the first. (GASP!)

I know what you’re thinking because I, dear concerned friends, am thinking the same thoughts (jinx!). Mr. Squirrel won’t allow it! It’s tacky and goes against this rural France look he’s going for with the yard!

But listen. I called this a few weeks ago when Mr. Squirrel returned from a trip to Home Depot with little Jojo. Apparently Jojo just loved the Christmas decorations at Home Depot (and, I totally know how starry eyed he gets…when we were in Target last week, he kept repeating “this is soooo beauuuutifuuulllll” in the Christmas section).

I could see the transformation in my husband’s eyes. “He’s considering one of those hideous lawn decorations,” I thought to myself.

So I confronted him on it. He didn’t deny it. In fact, he looked kind of embarrassed, laughed and then admitted that he considered buying one for Jojo. OH MY GOD, people.

With less than 2 months until Christmas, it will take major restraint on his part not to purchase one. What can I do to help ease the pull? I can prohibit Jojo from accompanying his daddy to any store which sells these things. I don’t want to be that house.
I also don’t want to be that house that has to store that deflated plastic mess for 10 months of the year. Space is tight!

What will our neighbors think? lol. I can just imagine.

What do you think — am I being too snotty? Should I just give in and suggest to Mr. Squirrel to go nutso on inflatable lawn ornaments? Will we be starting down a slippery slope to garden gnomes and pink flamingos? I think I’ll just keep my lips zipped and see if he caves. Then I can mock him for it for the next fifty years.

-image-It’s Been 9 Days

November 15, 2008 | Me,NaBloPoMo,trips down amnesia lane

since my last (and first) confession.

It seemed to do you as much good as me (and I don’t think any of you left me for good over it, right?). RIGHT?

Here’s my next confession:

When I was little (maybe 7 or 8), I remember riding home in the back of my parents’ car and looking out the window to the right. In the lane next to our car was a rusty sedan with a full backseat. I could tell three kids sat in the back, but I could only see the boy in the window next to our car.

Then, what I can only describe as a wolf boy leaned forward from the middle seat and looked right at me before sitting back quickly. He didn’t look quite this hairy, dark or old — he seemed more my age, but it all happened so quickly.

I sat shocked, mouth open in the car, as his car pulled ahead of ours. I never saw that car nor that wolf boy again, but I swear on everything I hold dear that I saw a boy afflicted with hypertrichosis and no, it wasn’t Teen Effing Wolf. I think that came out years later.

Does anyone else have weird shit like this happen to them, that you SWEAR happened but you’re kind of scared to admit it because you know others will think you’re crazy?

-image-My Day with The Nugget

November 14, 2008 | Jojo,NaBloPoMo,The Nugget

As you may have read yesterday, today I spent the day with Nugget while Jojo played at school.

This crazy weather allowed us to bask in the late afternoon sun on our ravaged front lawn.

He napped pretty well — something he doesn’t didn’t do at daycare, so that was a relief.

He led me around the house by his uplifted hands; me, bent over and swaying from foot to foot. I might be sore tomorrow, but that’s ok. He was having so much fun ‘walking’ around the house.

During one of his naps, I found yet another time-suck/housecleaning diversion and made you this game of
SPOT THE DIFFERENCES:

You are welcome.

-image-What We Did Today

November 13, 2008 | Jojo,NaBloPoMo,random randomness,The Nugget

Tell me you can top that.

You can’t.

Because what you don’t see is that we also took a trip to Target, smooshed PlayDoh, painted pictures, watched part of Madagascar, ate mac & cheese, partook in the festivities involving the Countdown to Thanksgiving Tree, made Mr. Potato Head look silly, talked about Santa Claus, read many books, built towers, knocked down towers, crashed trucks, played catch, cuddled, and just had an awesome day together.

Nugget, btw, was testing the patience of his daycare providers for the last time.

Tomorrow Jojo heads to daycare/pre-school for the day while Nugget and I spend some quality one-on-one time together.

See those cheeks? They’re alll mine!

Things I know we’ll do: shake and roll toys, sing songs, give hundreds of kisses, wipe copious amounts of snot, make a mess eating, snuggle, cuddle, laugh, smile, nurse and nap.

Maybe tomorrow he’ll crawl forward finally.

Maybe the weather won’t rain on us so we can take a nice long walk together.

Whatever it is, I can’t wait to see what else tomorrow brings…well, as long as it doesn’t start at 5 o’clock in the blessed morning like today.

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If you haven’t provided your opinions on the latest quadrant, please do so now! Don’t get left off the grid.

-image-All Hail the Thanksgiving Tree

November 12, 2008 | "project!",holidays,Me,NaBloPoMo

I blame other blogs. Other crafty blogs with their beautifully photographed, seemingly easy and well-loved crafty projects using leftover Halloween candy. You know who you are.

Anyway, I started out with these simple ingredients to make a Thanksgiving advent calendar-like thingy using just some of our leftover Halloween candy.

I planned to make a smaller version of the awesome TPIR Punch a Bunch board. Unfortunately, I couldn’t fit most of the candies in the cups without crushing them, so I had to modify my plan. I just noticed that you can’t tell from my picture that I have a stack of white paper cups in the upper left of that photo. But I swear, on Hollow Squirrel himself, that those are paper cups.

Thank goodness that same crafty blog had a tree-like hanging candy thingy, so I went with that. When the going got tough, I took the craft in a different direction instead of just shoveling the candy in my complain hole and succumbing to a ginormous crafting shame spiral.

I’m kind of proud of myself for that.

I wrapped up candies and stickers in the different colored tissue paper. I think all in all, I used the equivalent of two sheets of tissue paper. Since I started the project later than planned, I only had to make 17 treats, as at the time, there were 17 days left until Thanksgiving; each treat has a number on it.

The ribbon I had with my other wrapping supplies from IKEA. Oh, and the tree thingy is from Crate & Barrel. It’s just a decorative ornament holder, but it’s perfect for the…Countdown to Thanksgiving Tree:

Give yourself a few minutes to mock my creation. Go ahead. I don’t mind.

Jojo hated it at first.

Maybe it was because the treat he chose (with “17″ on it, as in 17 days until stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, oh my!) brought forth much anger in the little guy. Who knew a Kit Kat could evoke such tears and screaming? Not me.

To me, a Kit Kat elicits drooling and the immediate need to rip off the orange wrapper and go to town on those chocolatey yet crispy numminess…which I did just a few minutes ago. Mmmm KitKat-y.

Once again, I had to think fast to save the Thanksgiving Tree… I wasn’t going to let him kill the tree with his hate. Oh no. I gave up a nap for this tree. DAMNIT YOU’RE GOING TO LIKE THIS THANKSGIVING TREE.

I didn’t say that. I probably didn’t even think it…because I was too busy pulling other distractions out of my ass.

I told him that if he didn’t like the treat that the Thanksgiving tree offered, he could trade it for another (from the STILL big ass bag of leftover Halloween candy “hidden” in our pantry).

He completely bought that (THANK GOODNESS) and chose a boring Hershey bar. WTF? Whose kid is this? I mean, he doesn’t even know yet that you only eat those by first dunking them in peanut butter. I’m not going to teach him that. I do have some shred of intelligence.

So I guess day 1 (or day 17, however you choose to look at it) of the Countdown to Thanksgiving Tree (or Thanksgiving Tree) (or Hot Shiny Mess Tree) (or At Least She Didn’t Bedazzle the Damn Tree) wasn’t a complete disaster.

Day 2/16 went much better. Jojo asked if he could have his treat and then found the number 16 on the candy, which he happily accepted. Whew.

Today was our third day (15 days left! Order your tofurkey now!), and he’s gotten into the groove. He found the 15. He chowed on the candy. And then…

And then he stole mommy’s heart when he proudly and excitedly pointed out the Thanksgiving Tree to our neighbors who stopped by and told them that “mommy made it!”

I was so touched by his enthusiasm that I totally forgot to distance myself from it and blame my husband! Oh Jojo.

I guess next year I’ll need two trees, and I will buy much less candy and more alternative prizes like stickers. As for the unused paper cups, I plan on making a Christmas advent calendar with those…I just have to figure out what to put inside (we need a break from candy).

Any suggestions? Also? If you like Whoppers, I have a ton I’d love to send you.

-image-Busted!

November 11, 2008 | Me,Mr. Squirrel,NaBloPoMo

Today the kids are at daycare while the LOUD BANGING men remodel our bathroom (and install the vanity! Yay! Yippee! Do a vanity dance with me, friends!). And rarity upon rarity, Mr. Squirrel’s company gave them today off. Thank you veterans, young and old, for what you’ve given to (and given up for) our country; and thank you Mr. Squirrel’s company for throwing him a day off.

After dropping off the kids, we headed to Dunkin Donuts like any addicted smart couple would do.

I didn’t have to repeat order, which (cue the music) may have been my downfall: medium half-caff vanilla latte with skim and sugar, egg & cheese on a toasted english muffin and a bostom creme donut with sprinkles.

Yeah, that’s just my order. You should hear what I order at McDonald’s (excuse: I’m breastfeeeeeeding!)

When it came time to pay, Mr. Squirrel asked if I had the money.

No, I didn’t have the money. He drove. He should have his wallet and the money.

He didn’t have the money (or his license! Rebel!).

Oops.

The manager waved me off and told us to bring the money in later, so we thanked her and wandered out, shaking our heads with embarrassment.

“Hmmmm,” Mr. Squirrel said, “they seemed to know you in there.”

“Wha? No…I’m just friendly! They’re nice to friendly people. Look! Over there! A dragon!”

Snap! Totally busted. Was it the all too familiar order of mine that tipped off my husband or the fact that she knew I was good for returning to pay for the goods? I don’t know, but all I know is I may have to spread the Squirrel money around other Dunkin Donuts and perhaps start wearing disguises.

-image-OMG! QVC? NFW!

November 10, 2008 | a girl's gotta shop,NaBloPoMo

I just accidentally landed on QVC while attempting to mute the tv, and did you know that Chloe Dao (Project Runway Season 2 winner) is selling her clothes here?

The three or so pieces featured I caught didn’t appeal to me, but I flitted through her collection on their website and found some nice pieces. Yay Chloe!

Remember me? The manic fan at BlogHer ’07?

No? Good!

And guess who else has some amazing pieces on there? LAURA! (Season 3!)

I’ll be honest — this just blew away my image of QVC items. And after viewing their website and seeing other awesome companies, I may end up doing some Christmas shopping here (since I can’t craft respectable gifts like some people).

Completely Unrelated Photo of Cute Children and Dirty IKEA Rug

Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @ 9:40 pm | 7 Comments  

-image-Facebook: Hiding Behind the Name

November 9, 2008 | Mr. Squirrel,NaBloPoMo,random randomness,trips down amnesia lane

Can you tell I spend a lot of time on Facebook?

I still haven’t convinced Mr. Squirrel to get on Facebook, in spite of me being ‘friends’ with several of his college friends. Actually, I think he prefers it. He doesn’t have to maintain the connection, but I can inform him if something important happens, like that his best friend is in the states or it’s so-and-so’s birthday (not that he’d actually, you know, contact this person to extend best wishes). I don’t mind actually. It’s just funny.

The whole Get Mr. Squirrel on Facebook Campaign came grinding to an official halt, however, when I noticed two photos of my friend’s husband uploaded from a high school friend of his. One was a class photo from 2nd grade — little V clad in a plaid color wider than his shoulders. He looked adorable. I’m pretty sure I cooed; and really, you can’t hold a 2nd grader responsible for what I’m sure was hip polywear at the time. But then a most unfortunate 8th grade dance picture surfaced with V sporting a shirt straight from Chess King and a (you might want to sit down…except you probably are since most people don’t read blogs standing at a computer so never mind) black fedora. Yes. A black fedora with a white ribbon.

Oh V. Say it wasn’t so…but it was. It was the 80s and I FEAR what I was wearing that same night in my midwestern hometown, cuz I was no doubt uglyin’ up something fierce…just not from Chess King. More likely a Forenza sweater and some truly horrific bangs.

I showed Mr. Squirrel the pictures, and well, Facebook is dead to him. No way will he let himself be publicly ChessKinged by old “friends.” I can’t say I blame him.

I realized that the embarrassing pictures which can surface (in addition to my low self-esteem) could be why I haven’t changed my name on Facebook to include my maiden name. This allows me to hide in a way that most married men cannot do, since most married men don’t give up their name. I like it. I can add my maiden name at any time to take a step into the past. If I want. I’m still debating.

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That 80s blog I stumbled on for the Chess King reference had me crying. Check out the review of Trapper Keepers. Classic.

-image-Woulda Shoulda QUADRANTs

November 8, 2008 | NaBloPoMo,Quadrant Plotting,Uncategorized

Are you effffing kidding me? Why didn’t I think of this? Well, I did. It’s the quadrant all fancified and tech savvy.

I don’t have the technical skill set to accomplish this swanky quadrant…so I guess it’s all Woulda Shoulda Couldn’ta.

You’ll just have to settle for the Quadrant, Old School style* to plot these degrees of preference regarding:

Now, I didn’t realize this before my research efforts took me this way, but several varieties of nougat bless this earth.

So as not to confuse the you or the almighty Quadrant, we’ll be talking about the chocolate-malt nougat variety one finds in American candy bars, such as 3 Musketeers or Milky Ways. Do you love it or hate it?

And what about Nugent (of the Ted variety)? Do his pro-hunting and pro-gun rants make you hott?

Would you want to play Guitar Hero after him?

Or maybe you don’t want to partake in his free-for-all.

I don’t know now, but I will know when you tell me in the comments. Yay or Nay on The Nugent.

*This Nougat/Nugent Quadrant brought to you by The Nugget.

-image-Winter, She Wrote

November 7, 2008 | a girl's gotta shop,NaBloPoMo

Good morning. My name is Angela Lansbury.

You may remember me from my 12 years playing the popular murder mystery writer/corpse magnet, Jessica Fletcher, on the series Murder, She Wrote.

When not stumbling upon dead bodies or attending a book signing, I can be found scouting out excellent clothing deals!

Today, I discovered this nifty coat for your little detective-in-training!

Did your clever eyes discover why I selected this particular coat?

Should you correctly (and firstly*) identify the reason why this warrants the coveted Jessica Fletcher Seal of Approval, you will win an awesome prize courtesy of Hollow Squirrel.

Thank you, Mrs. Squirrel, for allowing me to guest post today. Now back to my busy day of spit shining my Golden Globe and Tony awards, cursing the Emmys I never won, and rolling around in my money.

*firstly. It’s a wordish.