-image-The Guest Wore Black

October 25, 2009 | a girl's gotta shop

I did end up wearing the black flowy dress from The Limited.

I found some ridiculously uncomfortable heels at DSW for $38 (I’m sure they just need to be broken in or thrown under a passing bus) and this sweet Target necklace for $20.

Not only is the dress borrowed, I also checked out a black shawl from my sister-in-law’s closet. And I didn’t return it!

Suckah! I mean, sorry E…I’ll mail it to you.

Thank you for all the advice on dress and accessories.

Too bad I didn’t have time beforehand to color my hair — what is WITH that reverse skunk stripe in front? SEEEERIOUSLY hair. Work with me.

-image-Zip it.

October 20, 2009 | Me,Mr. Squirrel,random randomness

Me:  I was just talking to Gray (our neighbor) and his fly was down. Should I have told him?

Mr. Squirrel:  Was his schlong hanging out?

Me: No.

Mr. Squirrel:  Then don’t worry about it.

Is that a guy thing? I asked my friend Nic if she saw Mr. Squirrel with his zipper down if she’d tell him, and she would. I didn’t, but then Gray’s son was right there, so I didn’t want to have that awkward conversation in front of an eight year old.

Just so you all know, I’d appreciate the heads up if my zipper has failed especially if my schlong is hanging out.

-image-Dress the Blogger: Some Options

October 14, 2009 | "project!",a girl's gotta shop

Sorry for the photo quality folks…I stumbled into some bad lighting, didn’t brush my hair, and Mr. Squirrel refused to even sit up from his slothlike position on the couch in front of Monday night football for “the shoot.” Bas-turd. I also didn’t try on jewelry or anything to bling it up.

Basically, I look like shit, and I’ll probably be this “thrown together” on the actual day of the wedding since we’ll be having to get up early to say goodbye to the kids and won’t be able to check into the hotel room until after the ceremony…this may be a case of getting dressed in the car. Just like Matt.

Or like on our honeymoon, when we swam in a waterfall, then dried off and got dressed in our rental car to eat at the nicest restaraunt on Kauai. We classy!

	Black Target Mossimo dress — size 8. $39.99 (seriously!) Way too loose in the bust and waist. I’ve already returned it, so don’t bother liking it.
	Here’s the navy dress from Target that a lot of you luuuuurved. This one is from the Merona Collection — most of the “collection” is available only online, but they do have some styles in-store. I ordered this one in a size 6 — it was a little too big in the chest, even though I currently rock a 36D, and for girls with girls this big, this cut does not flatter. I should have known better. My husband loathed this dress. Also — this one sounded crunchy when I moved. But, it was only $39.99, and for that price, I couldn’t care if the dress squeaked.
	Here’s another borrowed dress which my husband vetoed the second he saw it. I love it — very comfortable, but perhaps it’s too casual for a black tie invited? I’m still not sure. It’s got these ruffle things around the neckline, and an adorable tie, but it is actually a maternity dress (size small). Mr. Squirrel said it was too billowy. I don’t think so…it was just spacious, which will be great for my competitive eating training and nursing boobs.
	Black polyester (fluid) dress from The Limited. This one is borrowed from a friend, and I love this dress — comfortable and it fits. However, I really think it’s not appropriate for black tie….although I really really really want to wear it because it’s easy and fits. I’m not sure if a big necklace would be enough to bring it up to black tie (invited) status. Discuss.
	Also from Target’s Merona Collection — size 6 this time. Can you tell that I’m suckin’ it in? The chest and upper waist were quite snug in “I really cannot finish the beef tenderloin” kind of way, even though I usually lick the plate clean. This might not be the best pick for this occasion, especially since my right boob will probably balloon up because The Nugget won’t be around to release the milk pressure. The pink also matches my psoriasis patches under my knees…sexy! $42.99.
	You probably cannot tell, but there is some minor beading along the top. I’d have to spice things up with some earrings, right? Momma gotta buy something new for this gig.
	I wore this to my last black tie wedding, eight years ago when dating Mr. Squirrel. Between the wedding and reception, we checked out rings at a local jeweler, and Mr. Squirrel bought the ring there as soon as we returned home.Maybe it’s a good luck dress. Then again, the couple whose wedding we attended bitterly divorced less than a year after. Maybe it’s a bad luck dress. It is for sure metallic (insert headbanging here).

Another awesome friend is loaning me another couple of options, so we may still have some contenders… your thoughts?!

-image-Dress the Blogger — Bullseye?

October 9, 2009 | "project!",a girl's gotta shop

Still searching for a dress for the upcoming black tie wedding. I read somewhere (online) (so probably LIES!) that a noon black tie wedding is the most formal, but then someone told me it wasn’t and well, duh, I dunno.

SO, I emailed the bride-to-be.

GASP! HORROR! NOOOOO!

Yes. She’s the boss, so I went straight to the top and was quickly met with this information:

Anything appropriate for a black-tie optional affair is perfect. Can be long or short dress and it can be worn from the ceremony through the dinner reception.

Dude. Like seriously? Would I buy two dresses, one for the ceremony and a different one for the reception? Pienso que no. That kind of pretentiousness grinds my goatee.

One of you kind readers suggested I check out the Merona collection online at Target, and then fingers flew, numbers punched and three dresses arrived at my doorstep…each dress around $40!

I kind of like this one, too, but it’s more expensive and not currently folded up on my dining room table like the others. I’ll try them on and post pictures soon since I really need to make a decision.

-image-Would You Let This Boy Bear Your Rings?

October 6, 2009 | Jojo

Did I mention Jojo served as Ring Bearer in a family friend’s wedding this summer?

Seeing my son walk down the aisle that I walked down to marry his father, carrying a pillow with a shy smile on his face for one of my closest family friends…one of the best moments of my life.

Thanks, Amy, for asking my Jojo to share in your exceedingly beautiful and special day.