Can I just tell you…
November 23, 2009 | Uncategorized,bitterness,random randomness
I can’t even GO there about the garage sale because it wasn’t like just in my yard. It was off-site at a big place and raised several thousand dollars with several hundred customers, only a handful of whom were asshole shoplifters. But see… see…the main suckage factor of being one of the organizers was having a team to manage. I never understood why my best friend always passes down opportunities to move up in her company and make more money through managing people, but now I completely understand and to you, dear best friend, my humble apologies. It’s bad enough when your coworkers are being PAID to work. At least the possibility of losing ones job may motivate your underlings to light a fire under their lazy asses, but trying to coordinate other parents, some of whom have full-time jobs or whose wives signed them up for the committee or who pretend they don’t have email even though they do and it’s called “selective emailing” or “caller email-ID-ing” and I KNOW YOU READ MY EMAIL AND YOU’RE PRETENDING YOU DIDN’T WHICH IS WHY I PRINTED OFF A COPY AND DROPPED ONE BY YOUR HOUSE AS WELL AS PUT A COPY IN YOUR KID’S SCHOOL POUCH so you had better show up for the shift or I’ll have to smile through gritted teeth and ask you nicely again if you’re coming and OH MY GOD can you tell some anger still resides under my calm surface? CAN YOU?
I really went there, didn’t I? And seriously, I’m just scratching the ugly, flea-infested surface.
Onto other items:
1. Whoever is responsible for making this book should offer a public apology and be forced to reprint and replace all copies forthwith (is that a legal term, because I pretend it is) for the egregious oversight of leaving out the four naughty cars (you know who you are oh don’t make me say your names. FINE I will DJ, SnotRod, Wingo and Boost). The four naughty cars are beloved by my naughty little son, and, as I try to remind myself, allow for some “teachable moments” in the film. SErIOUSLY, how could you leave them out? FOR SHAME! I may be overreacting.
2. I’m in LOVE with the show Glee. LOVE LOVE LOVE and now I want an iPod or one of those mp3 player doo-dads so I can download the mash-ups and don’t think for a second I would leave off “Don’t Stop Believin’” (Journey). But really, let’s be honest. I’m still a good 2 years away from being able to listen to a song in its entirety without being yelled at for a blasted snack.
3. I went to a funeral this morning and received several nice compliments on my hair and attire…from the other parents at preschool who wrongly assumed I was heading back into the workforce. Then they had to do the ol’ facial switcheroo — inquisitive and smiling to tilted head/grimace with accompanying “ooooohhhhawwwwww.” The older man I sat next to during the mass (and yes, for those of you who really know me…I sat through a Catholic mass and this time, I’m pretty sure I didn’t offend anyone! well, except when I didn’t take my neighbor’s hand for this one part, but how was I suppose to know, for shit’s sake?)… well, the older man was a hoot and I wished I could chat with him, but I had coffeebreath so I tried to minimize chit chat. When did it become ok to wear jeans to a funeral? That is my question to you. Also, I think Father B was wearing running shoes. Hand on my Felicity DVD collection.
4. OK here’s one to settle. I was speaking with someone who will remain nameless and the discussion topic of “booger eating…when is it ok” came up. Who here just gagged? Yup, me, too. I quite vigorously toed the “NEVER” company line with a “that’s what flicking is for” if you don’t have a tissue to wipe it in, and why are we picking to begin with? note to self: look into law school. So, the person I was arguing with said that consuming one’s own boogers is ok if there’s no where to wipe/flick because you’re taking care of the offending matter yourself instead of foisting it out onto the public.
Seriously. I have these discussions. Your thoughts?
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November 23rd, 2009 at 11:22 pm, Bethany Says:
Sorry the whole sale thing sucked.
You never consume your own snot. That’s just f-ing gross. When my oldest was little she would pick her nose in bed & wipe it on the wall. WTF?
November 24th, 2009 at 12:44 am, Sallyacious Says:
Re: booger eating. BAAAARRRRRRRFFFFFFF. Ick. NEVER okay. Never. Ever. EVVVVVUUUUURRRRR. Hurk.
But let’s end this comment on a happy note. Glee. I want to take Puckerman behind the bleachers and do nasty, nasty things to him.
November 26th, 2009 at 7:07 pm, May Says:
The thought of “booger eating” makes me want to puke up my turkey. You NEVER EAT THE BOOGERS. Never. I watch The Gretch pick her nose sometimes (like when I’m driving & can’t blow it for her). She’s not even two & she knows that rule. NO.
I completely understand the garage sale burnout. I’ve been a little sick of the Service Projects lately. Ugh. Good for you for being a hard ass who gets things done. You’re a valuable part of your community, and this Internet-Stranger thanks you for your service.
November 29th, 2009 at 6:21 pm, Poodle Says:
OH MY GOD – WHO EATS THEIR BOOGERS!!? I completely understand the need to get the stuff out but with a KLEENEX, people, and then you TOSS IT.
I hope the garage sale madness fades with time…
November 30th, 2009 at 11:17 am, Dee Says:
Eating boogers is in the same category as doing Meth and taking shit from assholes….never o.k.
December 2nd, 2009 at 8:50 pm, Audrey Says:
As regards number 3, I have a related question: When did it become okay to wear black jeans to an interview? I’ve seen it happen multiple times in the last few months, and I just can’t wrap my head around the thought process that makes one think that is a good decision when getting dressed on interview day.