Archive for February, 2010
-image-Before You Judge Me
Just know, for breakfast Jojo ate one red pepper, one yellow pepper and half a mango. I’m not kidding.
WITH THAT SAID.
As well pulled up to the Taco Bell drive-thru, Jojo turned to Nugget and said, “the last time we were here, they were out of bells!”
He was disappointed yet again. Can’t they just get some bells. My kid can’t be the only one that thinks his taco should come with a bell. Seriously.
And just so you know, “the last time we were” there was when I was pregnant with Nugget.
So what did Nugget say at the drive-thru?
“Mama? Donut. One.”
Sorry, kiddo. Wrong drive-thru!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
9:53 pm |
-image-Things I’ll See in Hell
The list grows…
* Those little plastic baggies you get at the deli counter that can never properly re-seal.
* Oxo can openers.
* The slipcover on the couch in our upstairs play area.
* The inventor of the slipcover.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
8:59 pm |
-image-When You Meet My Nugget
Handy tips to help you when you meet The Nugget. If you meet my kids, I should say. I haven’t signed the contract with the traveling circus. Yet.
If The Nugget runs up to you screaming “bee! bee!” and then hugs you, he’s not actually “hugging” you as much as wiping a booger on your pants.
If The Nugget tries to hand you something and when you ask him what he has, he replies “bee,” then grab a tissue first.
When the Nugget screams “BUTT” he may be just letting you know that he knows where his butt is. Because he does.
And it’s odd, because we don’t refer to our butts as “butts” around here; rather as “bums,” because I think it’s a little less crass.
That should really be my motto: “More class. Less crass.” Perhaps I’ll have that tattooed across my inner thigh. Or would that be crassy? I’m not sure. Whew. I’ll have to work at this! I DIGRESS!
But back to “BUTT!” — the Nug may also be pointing out a school bus to you. He’s not even two, so cut him some slack. For all we know, he could be alerting us to the BUTTheadedness of the bus driver, perhaps, like Mrs. Spa (not her real name), the cranky lifehater who not only drove my neighborhood school bus but also often the tennis team’s bus. Lucky me — double the anger!
Let’s see…what else should you know about My Nug. He does not enjoy having his diaper changed, and he’s quite strong. You can imagine the battle which ensues oh a half a dozen times a day. Try distraction. Try a toy (that you don’t mind being pelted with). Try immobilizing him with your thigh.
I’ve saved the bestest for last. FOOD! The Nugget loves to dip his food. He also loves multipurpose foods and dips. For example, not only is the ketchup uber-tasty on the hot dog pieces, but it also makes a fragrant and stiff hair product. Dressing? Yes please! And ahhh the oil really softens up those windchapped cheeks. Lastly…guacamole. MOLEY MOLEY! You may remember that guacamole makes a lovely spa treatment for baby dolls (avocado also does well in hair, too).
Oh yes, my Nugget. He’s dear and loving and so full of adventure. And he’s going to be TWO in less than a month. Paper bag! Paper bag!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
11:00 am |
-image-From the mouth of Jojo…
Timber me shimbers!!
I love you, a bushy little peck. (that’d be a “bushel and a peck…”)
Mommy, look at my (Lego) faction. They’re cute, right?
Look at all the calculations! (constellations)
Mommy, it would be your pleasure to build a Lego jail with me now.
This kid cracks me up.
I have several “real” posts in my head, but they’re pinging around violently when I’m not near the computer, and then as soon as I park my butt, my mind blanks and I window shop for Spring clothes and then log in to my bank account to verify that yes, I cannot afford Spring clothes, so then I tab back over to my WordPress dashboard and sigh and just decide to publish a piece of garbage so my reader (hi you!) doesn’t totally forget about me.
But then Facebook!
Must go mock friend before forget! And then mock her via her sister’s site. Oh so important to stay connected.
I should give equal treatment of the chitlins… yesterday, the Nugget spread guacamole on his baby and then ran around with her yelling “mole-y baby! mole-y baby!” It was awesome yet disgusting.
The Nug loves LOVES LURVES babies. Ask any of my friends with babies. He likes to point at them, pet them, touch them, kiss them, hug them and make sure they are well attended to. It’s almost too much to take and kind of makes my uterus sing, but then I shut her down with some readily accessible other reasons NOT to have more children and/or take a gander at the purple bags under my eyes in a nearby mirror.
Word. SQUIRREL!
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
2:47 pm |
-image-I’ve seen this before…
wasn’t this the pattern on the cushioned patio furniture on The Golden Girls?
Order yours now so you’re ready to laugh and eat cheesecake with your girlfriends on the lanai come Spring.
Was I suppose to capitalize “Spring?” I can never remember. And honestly, I’m too tired to google it. Just know that I know that it could be wrong. Does that make the possible grammar infraction a little less annoying to you Type-As? Comments will tell…
Anyway, I just had to share that tunic with you because I hate it. That print will add 30-50 years to your current age.
Posted by Mrs. Squirrel @
10:25 pm |
