-image-We’re Working on the Name

May 28, 2010 | Jojo

Jojo has his big heart set on getting a pet.

His current desire? A guinea pig. He wants one when he turns 5, which is why he told me in public, “when I turn 5, can I have a guinea pig, “Lover?”"

Without the punctuation, that question raises some eyebrows.

I’ve heard about his future guinea pig pet, fondly named “Lover,” for some time now. The other customers in line with me at Target, however, probably called social services.

-image-My Own Personal Hell

May 16, 2010 | bitterness,random randomness

It would involve the following things:

1. attempting to find and purchase registry items from Bed, Bath & Beyond

2. trying to unlock all of the doors by double-clicking the “unlock” button on the minivan’s remote only to have that annoying, slow triple beeeeeeeeep announce that NO, you in fact need to start over by locking the car, then more slowly double-clicking the “unlock.”

3. lots and lots of shedding, spitting and pissing cats. Yes, cats peepee, spit and fur contain allergens that convert my previously functioning lungs to suffocated death flaps. Not having my emergency inhaler. Dying. Redying, I guess, since this is hell.

4. veneers. big, chiclet veneers.

-image-Superboys

May 15, 2010 | Jojo,The Nugget

Just to let you know what I’m doing instead of blogging…

-image-A Little Early

May 13, 2010 | Me,trips down amnesia lane

Word around Facebook was that my 20th high school reunion wasn’t going to happen. People weren’t getting responses after emailing the class president, and another graduate decided to have her own get together over the summer since it looked like an apathetic no-go.

I was bummed. Me! The one who didn’t care about missing her 10th reunion and only keeps in touch with one friend. I thought about flying home for the summer get-together, but then I heard more about it, and it seemed like anybody who knew anyone from our class was welcome to come, and while I’m usually very inclusive, I felt like it wasn’t “special” enough.

20 years! TWENTY. Can’t we pull it together for a 20 year reunion? A good number of us were together from Kindergarten through graduation. We graduated with around 160 students from what the larger, surrounding schools called “Farm Country.”

I really was surprised at how disappointed I was that we weren’t going to have an official reunion. I tried to rationalize that Facebook could be the new reunion site… create a group, find our friends, and catch up there. I basically have caught up with many of the same people I’d be hoping would attend the reunion.

But then some people rallied and dates and events have been set. One of the organizers surprised me, as Billy (now Bill) wasn’t an extracurricular kind of guy that I remember. Someone who mocked organized anything…but now he’s the dad of four and willing to laugh and acquiesce to my repeated requests to call him Billy throughout the reunion weekend.

The reunion isn’t until the Fall, but my body has already reverted to high school full blown zit status. It’s probably not too early to start practicing my mall bangs.

-image-Turning This Mother Out

May 9, 2010 | holidays,Me

Why hello!

It’s Mother’s Day, which around here means, momma got to sleep in! But Sundays are always my sleep-in days, so guess what? I got to sleep in yesterday, too.

That’s pretty dreamy, except that I was having an awful nightmare about getting in a huge fight at a movie theater with this despicable beyotch who took up FOUR seats because she was lying down and brought a blanket and pillow, and I was looking for a seat, but she wouldn’t give up the fourth seat, and she kept kicking me with her feet, and then I fell off and I got up and yelled “YOU CAN’T HAVE FOUR FUCKING SEATS, YOU FUCKING BITCH!” because I’m great at confrontation! She yelled back “FUCK YOU!” and then I said, “oh that’s original” and scuttled my butt on over to the other side where an empty seat was, and then I saw that her boyfriend had been out getting popcorn, so if she was saving one of the three extra seats for him, why didn’t she just tell me that, but too late, because now everyone knew me as the OBSCENITY YELLER and apparently she was “in” with this school (yes it was a theater in a school…stick with me), so then I had to get out of the school without getting my ass kicked, but the school had a gift shop, so I had to stop, because finding a cute gift is much more important than saving myself from a beatdown.

Ugh. So that’s how my Mother’s Day started. No wonder I woke up exhausted. My boys have treated me well with a fantastic card addressed “to the best mommy on this whole couch” (thanks, Mr. Squirrel), yummy pancakes and a loving send off to go shopping with another mom friend of mine. Very lowkey and perfect.

To all of you on this day, I hope it’s been bright and lovely. Hugs from this mommy to you.

-image-Because I Enjoy the Struggle

May 5, 2010 | "project!",Me

Remember how I’m giving up pop? I also decided to simultaneously give up my 4x a week Dunkin Donuts habit…well, I’m reducing my habit to once a week. Seriously. 4x a week?

But wait! There’s more!

I’m also not visiting any gossip websites. I realized that I was spending a lot of time flipping between 3 or 4 sites, even checking them on my Blackberry multiple times a day instead of, say, picking my nose, which is a much better use of my time.

I really miss my doughnuts most of all.

-image-I’ve Been Here and There

May 3, 2010 | random randomness

Whoa (yes, that was suppose to sound like Joey), I rarely blog anymore. I still have lots to say, most of it random and completely frivolous, but I’m just not finding the time. You’re missing so much and yet you’re all surviving. Let’s just say I’m letting you (yes you! the one reader!) down slowly for the big quit.

Other things I’ve been quitting:  pop. As much as I love me some Diet Coke (and if I could, I’d drink 3 a day), I hate how the cans clutter my kitchen, the festering stink of the bottle return area and how gassy I am. And then, to boot, I’ve started saying (oh the shame) “soda!” That is completely unacceptable yet understandable after living here in “soda” country for over 7 years and on many occasions having waiters or cashiers be completely confused when I blurt out in my Michigan accent (that’s a joke! I don’t have an accent!) “and a medium Pah-ah-puh”). FINE.

Then, on a morning when I was pondering whether or not to give up POP but knew there were two left in the fridge, I became ridiculously upset upon discovering that I was wrong– we didn’t have any pop left! None! No pop! It was like a really pathetic episode of Addicted because I totally felt that I wasn’t quite ready to give up POP — I needed one last good pop. Or two. And then I could quit.

So enough. I just said done.

It’s been four days, and I’ve GOT to start brewing some iced tea.