I think I see some light? Maybe?
November 22, 2010 | bitterness,Depression: It Sucks!,Mockery
So, my hole of despair just got some light.
I talked to my psychiatrist a couple of weeks ago about Seasonal Affective Disorder. It was awesome. Mainly because he gave me this “is she shitting me?” look because I often do “shit” him because he’s really quite unflappable, and that just makes me want to flap the hell out of him or put him in a headlock and mess up his hair. I don’t know. Does anyone else feel that way sometimes about their medical providers?
So he gave me The Look because we hadn’t ever talked about it yet, but he truly believes in the suckitude of SAD and wrote up a little one-page sheet on SAD, so he assumed I was attempting to mock him. I don’t think I mock him. Oh wait. WELL, it’s mocking out of love, or at least respect and like.
ANYHOO, he highly recommend this thinga-ma-jig because it’s easy to use, portable and it works.* It’s expensive in the “not in the Target $1 bin” kind of way and will take some budgeting (avoiding McDonald’s and Dunkin Donuts would be a good start…on several levels), but honestly: $200 to reduce the despair, sadness and so easily irritated shitself I’ve been? Worth Every Penny. I called the company directly because the company doesn’t take Discover, which Google Checkout didn’t tell me (instead I just thought it didn’t work), and the salesman I talked to was helpful and hilarious (exactly what a depressed person needs).
I’ll let you know how it goes. Just ordering the device has improved my mood. And your supportive comments from yesterday and emails also helped. Thank you friends.
*yes, I realize it comes with a visor. Clearly, I’m desperate for help.
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November 22nd, 2010 at 3:48 pm, ames Says:
I hope this helps you! I can definitely understand how you feel. Being alone in the house hasn’t bothered me because when M gets home we go for walks or go out. But now, it is dark hours before he gets home and it makes me all cabin fevery and super bitchy. I hate it.
November 22nd, 2010 at 4:26 pm, Maria Says:
Visor or not… if it helps, use it. I went tanning once… it was January in Indiana and all grey and blah every day. I was in the tanning bed for only 5 minutes or so and I came out almost high from it. I just felt so much better about everything!
And I was slightly coral colored…
But the light from the tanning bed really perked me up for several days. Since I have fishbelly white skin, I have avoided tanning since then, but may consider this device of yours!
November 22nd, 2010 at 11:50 pm, Eris Says:
Do you have paypal? I’ll send a few bucks your way if you are the guinea pig and tell the internet (read: me) how this thing works out for you because I’m willing to try nearly anything. Anything short of, you know, quitting my job and running into the hills.
November 23rd, 2010 at 9:17 am, Bethany Says:
The whole light thing at this time of year certainly makes sense. Hope it works.
November 23rd, 2010 at 9:27 am, Britt Says:
Visors are hot. And not just when they have light bulbs!
I hope it helps because depression sucks. If it doesn’t help, I’m pretty sure that a spontaneous trip to Utah will do the trick. Especially after you’ve been felt up by airport security.
November 24th, 2010 at 9:30 am, Alison Says:
Sending you lots of love dear. Sorry to hear you’ve been in the hole. You didn’t happen to find me down there, too, did you? I cried for an hour in my therapist’s office yesterday. Not good. Wear that hot thing with pride, and enjoy the pep it puts back into your step. xoxo