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April 22, 2011 | I'm an Idiot

I accidentally freaked out many friends this evening by posting this seemingly innocent status update:
one of the perks of getting a bigger tummy? Your son stops asking for a Pillow Pet.

I’m just overweight, and at least one person in the family seems to adore the “mushy” tummy. Jojo loves the mushy, squishy “pillow.” He claims it as his own.

After I posted that status, I left the computer and hustled the boys upstairs for bath, books and bedtime, all the while leaving a couple of friends on the edge of their seats — thinking I’d set up a teaser for the Big Reveal.

Nope. I’m just a clueless, unpregnant dope.

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April 11, 2011 | Me,The Office

So I may be returning to work part-time. I’ve been wanting to return to a part-time gig for a while now, so I’m cautiously optimistic that this part-time job offer may work out. I’ve broken the news to the kids, and they’re not happy. I don’t understand how they COULDN’T be happy with getting away from my crabby self, but they claim LOVE and MISSING ME and really, as long as there are snacks, they’ll be fine. I’m not worried.

Yes, that may sound callous, but I know my kids — they’re bloomers. They bloom where they’re planted. Nugget may take a little more sun and water, but he’ll shoot right up and start beaming in no time. This will be good for them, in large part, because it will be good for me.

It’s going to take more planning and juggling, with one going into Kindergarten and one into 2-morning a week preschool, but I’m committed to trying. Luckily, my possible future employer already knows my kids’ schedules, has four children of his own, and has even offered for me to work from home for a portion of the week. As long as I can work those hours when the kids are not home, that will be fine. I’ve worked from home before (before kids), and although I missed the social aspect, especially since it was from Day 1 of living in a new state/community, it worked pretty much flawlessly.

Like my last part-time gig (which was perfection with mommyhood until it stopped being awesome owing to One Of Those Coworkers Whose Sole Purpose in Life is To Be an Evil Asshat), which searched me out, this one sort of did, too. The person offering me the job knows I’ve been interested in part-time work and knows me well and although the position isn’t anything I studied for or which I’d like to do for the rest of my life, I’ve finally FINALLY come to the self-understanding that I’m not the kind of person that has a calling to a certain profession.

I like to do many things, I can do a variety of things, and my degrees actually showcase that YES, I cannot make up my mind. I enjoy the act of working and contributing and earning money and being part of a larger goal. I work hard, I’ll do a good job, but it’s not like My Dream Job (mainly because I’ve never really been able to articulate what that job would entail besides making sweet love to Matthew Fox…which HELLO whore! I’m married! He’s married! FOR SHAME!).

Anyway, here I sit trying really hard to update my resume but is there an activity which elicits more procrastination that resume updating? I think not.

**UPDATE: EFFING SERIOUSLY I just emailed it out. I refuse to waste my life writing a cover letter for a job that was somewhat offered to me (to apply, at least — I realize I could still screw this up, and I’ll face major rejection).

It took me over 3 hours to get that out, and all I had to do was update my last job position. Wow, that was a serious mental workout. I’m pretty sure my cerebral cortex is sweating.

I had to Google and stuff, and I found some interesting things that I did which I’d completely repressed. I also forgot how much I loathed my last job towards the end.

So by the time that foul “coverletter” word popped up, I was all “helllll no.” Booooooooooooo. No.

References? Ok, that one I should probably take a stab at. I checked out my previous list of references and had to cross out three — one because she turned into a semi-stalker. Let’s not reconnect. Ugh. I have no problem working hard. I just have a real problem jumping through these hoops to get to the job. That’s probably a sign or something, right?