If I Publish This Here Post
January 17, 2014 | blog business,Jojo,The Nugget
I will be tied for the number of posts I wrote in 2013.
Let’s just do a quick catch-up:
I still have two boys — Jojo, my 2nd grader, and Nugget, my kindergartener. They are the loves of my life. There’s nothing I can type, no matter how many descriptive words I churn out, that can express the amount and depth of my love for them.
My love for them hasn’t changed- this isn’t a brilliant news flash – but sometimes I find myself slogging through the day and catch myself, at the end, wishing I had been more patient or less distracted or more fun or well, any number of better traits. Then I wake up the next day and do the same.
The other day, though, I woke up and Jojo was thick. Not dull or dim, but literally thicker around his waist. He’s always been slim, and even last summer could wear a size 3T pair of shorts. Several pair of size 7 or 8 pajamas (and pants and shorts) sat in his closet, unworn, because he was so bony. Within days though, he thickened up and became heavy. Those size 8 pajamas fit without a problem. I can’t just whip him up into a hug or carry him (not that my 8 year old needs or requests to be carried, but we do like to play around). It’s unreal, the change. I’m just shocked, and honestly, I broke down a few times because, well, of course all this growing and changing led to a series of related parental panic attacks. He will hate me. He will leave me. He won’t want me around.
Nugget, if he could, would be as big, as old and as everything as his older brother. I’d like to hold him back and make him stay my little Nuggie, my partner, my BABY for as long as possible, but I think we’ve all watched enough ugly-ending-tv shows to know that that’s a bad plan. Still, I’m consciously trying to enjoy each day with him — playing our favorite games, talking at bedtime and spending time with him — instead of slogging through each day worrying about the dishes and laundry. He loves kindergarten — loves his friends and his teachers, will dance if there’s music on, will tell anyone and everyone about losing his first tooth and gives the best, spontaneous hugs.
I’m so far behind on all my grand blogging plans (ok, let’s be honest, I just liked venting and in the process, found a supportive, kind & funny group of women who give me pleasure to this day with their friendship). I’m signing off now. I can’t keep up, and I’d rather play with my boys while they still want me. All of you supportive, incredible women (and man) who have been there for me with your funny comments – thank you. I do love to laugh.