-image-Grandma Squirrel Needs Your Help.

July 2, 2008 | family

I know usually I’m a tad silly, but today I truly need your help. It’s easy and free, and hey, you’ll score some karma points. Not that you need any, cuz I know you’re awesome.

I haven’t mentioned this situation because, honestly, it’s all happened so quickly and I tend to tuck away Things that Suck so I don’t have to think of them and instead think, talk and write about third nipples or television or pooping infants.

Distraction and denial! My guide to a happy life…at least for a while.

So. Yes, my mom will be wheeled into a fairly routine exploratory procedure this afternoon involving her heart. If they find nothing, fantastic. She’ll be released later today.

If they find blockage, a stent will be inserted and she’ll stay the night at the hospital.

Either way, I can tell she’s scared and any positive thoughts sent to southwest Michigan, Attention: Grandma Squirrel, would be greatly appreciated by the entire Squirrel clan.

UPDATE: Grandma Squirrel took your positive vibes & rocked the surgery. Her heart looks strong, and no stents were needed. Whew. A big nutty sigh and many, many thanks.

-image-You know how sometimes…

May 14, 2008 | The Office, bitterness, family

I’m a big asshat who procrastinates and waits until May 13 to start calling around for childcare and DOH Stacy, places are filled up so now I’m screwing the giant pooch? Yeah.

Directors are laughing at me (LAUGHING!)(AT ME!) (DON’T THEY KNOW I HAVE DOUCHE CARDS I WILL SEND THEM FOR THEIR MOCKERY???) for looking so late in the game…

but but

here’s my (erroneous) thought process: teachers have the summers off, so they probably took their kids out of daycare, so their spots are wide open for the taking. Um, flawed, wishful thinking.

Call me (and yes, I have my hand in the “phone”/call me” shape) if you wanna come watch the Nugget & Jojo. You do, right? Good. Starting June 2! You can eat all the hummus and teddy grahams (not together. unless that’s your thing. I don’t judge.) you can fit in your tummy.

-image-Mother of All Holidays — Day 4 Contest

May 8, 2008 | holidays, family

Nothing like leaving my fourth contest to the last minute…but I was out for the evening with a friend at a taping for an NPR show. Wanna guess which one?

Yes, that will be the quiz. It relates to Mother’s Day because I’m a mother, as is my neighbor friend who invited me. See. There’s the connection. Neighbors can definitely have a motherly effect on our children — they watch over them, yell at them for letting the screen door slam and hand out popsicles. Lucky for me, the moms in my neighborhood rock and have been very supportive to me and other neighbors in times of need.

But back to YOUR chance to win fantastic completely non-Mother’s-Day-related prizes…

1. Which show did we attend the taping of (yes, I know I ended the sentence with a preposition. Sue me.)?
2. Who was suppose to be the special guest but couldn’t fulfill his duties?
Bonus Question: How many items did I buy at the concession stand?

That is all. Simple enough. Go to it. And now I need to go to bed only to have the Nugget wake me up 1.4 seconds after I reach REM sleep.

-image-The Mother of All Holidays

May 5, 2008 | holidays, family

Since Mother’s Day celebrates moms and those who help support and love us in motherly ways, I’m opening the contest to only those people who are or have mothers. That should exclude…um… no one! Yay inclusiveness! Also, entrants should be willing to provide their address for awesome prize deliverability.

Our first contest centers on Grandma Squirrel trivia…that’s my own mom, folks — my own, personal favoritest mom in the world. Please leave your answers in the comments section. Contest closes tomorrow at noon, wherein the accounting firm of Me, Myself and I will select those entrants with the most correct answers, then toss their names in a hat and have one Mr. Jojo Squirrel pick a winner (should their be multiple possible winners!).

True or False:
1. Grandma Squirrel has a not-so-secret admirer, nicknamed Stevorino, who used to work with my parents.
2. Grandma Squirrel has never lost a tennis nor ping pong match to her daughter, Stacy Squirrel.
3. Grandma Squirrel thinks Celine Dion is da bomb.
4. Grandma Squirrel wants David Archuleta to win this season’s American Idol.
5. Grandma Squirrel used to host a public access tv program.

Good luck & mom, I love you long time.

-image-Jojo, Version 2.5

April 21, 2008 | Jojo, family

Hola. Sorry for the absence, but finding time to blog with my parents in town and not letting them in on the blogging life of me seems rather tricky. See, if they found out I blog, well, it would verify that I use the f word far too often and every. single. person remotely connected with my family would find out.

Not only can my mother not keep a secret, but my dad would find some reason to be proud of my blog and slip it into every conversation. We cannot have that.

So. They’re gone. *Sob* It was a lovely visit, complete with basement playroom construction (the framing is 90% complete), back porch primer painting (thanks, Dad! Not that you’re reading this!), lots of one-on-one play time with Grandma and Poppa, clean laundry, clean kitchen, ironed clothes, banana bread, brownies, amazingly nutritious and perfectly-timed meals, and a guest room that ends up being cleaner after they leave than it was when they arrived. Seriously, my parents left our house before 8am and my mom had already started the washer with the sheets in it AND cleaned the guest bathroom.

I KNOW! Too bad I don’t have the “clean” gene.
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Oh wait. What was the title of this post? Oh yes, Jojo turned 2-1/2 today!! Before 7am today, Jojo already had a list going of aaa-dorable things he’s said and done. Let me begin:

1. First food request/declaration of the day, usually “I neeeeed something to eeeeeat” changed to the specific “I want need hot cocoa.” Yes, he wants needs it. That’s his new thing. And, considering hot cocoa contains lots of healthy milk, he scored some. He loves himself the whipped cream, too, so yeah, that’s healthy, too, right? Good.

2. While drinking the hot cocoa, he looked over at me and said “I want to share my hot cocoa with youuuuu” and he actually let me drink some. I’m melting.

3. Before we made the hot cocoa, his heavy diaper almost dragged on the ground, but he didn’t want to take precious time away from hot cocoa making or whining for Dora to get a fresh one. While the milk heated up in the microwave, I told him to meet me in the bathroom to get a new diaper. Per usual, he darted off to hide from me in his typical hiding spot, behind the guest bed. Instead of chasing him in there or pretending to have a hard time finding him, I told him that when he was ready to drink hot cocoa and watch Dora, we could change his diaper and then get going with the day. I emptied the dishwasher, made some coffee and still, the kid hid from me. He usually can’t remain quiet for that long, so I went to see him and the little munchkin had fallen asleep in his hiding place, butt up in the air, crack showing, on the ground next to the guest bed. That had never happened before, and I was torn — do I chance waking him with the camera flash or not? Instead, I bolted upstairs to find Mr. Squirrel, who met me at the bedroom door with an “OMG what’s wrong” look since I never take the steps two at a time. No worries, though, Mr. Squirrel… he loved the non-emergency downstairs and by the time we did turn the flash off on the camera and ready to take the adorable shot, little Jojo had awakened. Bummer. But still, so stinkin’ cute.

Happy half birthday, my big boy. I adore you.