-image-Happy 4th!

July 4, 2008 | holidays, a girl's gotta shop

It is a perfect day here in Upstate New York…for the time being. I’m sure by the time we’re set to meet our friends at the park and then burger joint for dinner, the dark clouds will roll in, the wind will pick up and hail will rain down on my newly cleaned loser cruiser.

Why is it, then, that all I want to do (before we’re due to grill) is drive an hour away to the outlet mall? Here’s some reasoning pinging around in my noggin:

1. it’s set in the picturesque Berkshires
2. so really, it’s a nature drive
3. so Mr. Squirrel and Jojo could play on the grassy areas while mommy tries on clothes!
4. Mr. Squirrel would hatehatehate that
4. valuable savings for the holiday! celebrate America! help support the economy!
5. I’m going back to work in less than a month…need new work clothes.
6. Do I really? Or do I just need to exercise a bit to fit into my old work clothes? Hmm that’s no fun.
6. The Nugget needs to see Massachussets!
7. Gas. Oh shit. I forgot about the gas prices.

FINE. I guess we’ll stick around the homestead and spray each other with the hose.

**UPDATE** We compromised and hit the big mall, scoring some sweet deals on GAP apparel for the chitlins (in next years sizes) and… a brand spankin’ new REFRIGERATOR! GOOD BYE STINKBOX…YOUR DAYS ARE NUMBERED!!

-image-And of course

May 11, 2008 | holidays

Happy Mother’s Day. I planned a ginormous, lovie-dovie post to all the moms I know and love but my day got away from me what with all the pancake breakfasts and kisses and hugs and spitups and feedings and trips to Toys R Us then return trips to Toys R Us (oh yes, there’s a story there) and what not. For now, I have to put away three huge laundry baskets full of clean clothes or else I’ll spend tomorrow searching the baskets for what I need.

LOVE and HUGS and much appreciation goes out to all of you wonderful moms.
Love,
Mrs. Squirrel

-image-Contest 5 Winner!

Baby Making, Me, holidays

Well, you guys crapped the bed on that one. Seriously, do you really think I’d want to be named Jinger or were you trying to be funny?

If I were a Duggar girl, for the best name and family position, I’d want to be Jennifer. She’s currently the baby and doesn’t have to cook for the entire family or babysit. Score. Not a one of you picked it. Snap!

If I were a Duggar boy, I’d want to be Josh. Or James. I really couldn’t decide, but that’s ok because Audrey (!) chose Joshua James. I’m not sure I’d go for the that combo (my LANDS people, give the poor little letter J a break)!

We don’t need the tie-breaker this time, but you guys all underguessed The Nugget’s 2 month weight! He’s a hefty 14lb, 6oz — 95th percentile. You should seeee the thighs. Oh they’re munchable.

Congrats AUDREY for your big win! I hope you all enjoyed the Mother’s Day Mother of All Holiday Contestaganza … there may be just one more in my pocket. Stay tuned!

-image-Who’s Going to

May 9, 2008 | holidays, random randomness, The Nugget

Turn this Mother Out and win today’s prize in my big ass Mother of All Holidays Contestganza?

So far, SJ, My Buddy Mimi, Michelle Z, Liza and Mrs. CPA have won fabulous prizes which sit atop my dining room table, mocking Jojo with their not-for-himedness.

At some point during this Mother’s Day themed week of mine, I should probably post something thoughtful and nice, eh? It’s not going to be today. Sorry. Jojo should be risin’ from his nap soon, and I need to get some non-bloggy things done before then. This quiz will be short and sweet and most certainly easier than yesterday’s…

Thanks to Duggar WannaBe Nic — or should I call you Jic?, I’ve been alerted that the red OCCUPIED light, again, flashes over Mrs. Duggar’s uterus.

CONTEST QUESTIONS:
1. If I were a Duggar, which girl name would I want (see list…and play Name That Duggar, which hello, is tough but I can’t get enough of them telling me “No Tater Tot Casserole for you!”)?
2. If I were a boy and a Duggar, which name would I want?

TIE BREAKING QUESTION: If you’re at Marshall’s this weekend and see these in a size 8, will you buy them for me? PLEASE? They are out of my size in the two Marshall’s around here.

Oh wait, the real bonus question is: How much did The Nugget weigh at his 2 month check-up yesterday (FYI, Jojo weighed 12lb, 14 oz at his 2 month appt)?

For those of you who don’t check the internet over the weekend, Happy Weekend and/or Happy Mother’s Day. Otherwise, the games continue here at HollowSquirrel!

-image-the Mother of All Holidays — Day 4 Contest Winner!

holidays

Oh my lands…I guess this was kind of difficult, but Liza and Mrs. CPA figured it out!

I wanted you to guess which NPR show I saw taped last night, who was SUPPOSE to be the celebrity guest but couldn’t fulfill his obligation (that’s a hint, peeps), and how many items I bought at the concession stand. Let me assure you…if there’s a concession stand, I will buy crap. I heart overpriced, fatty, salty foods!

So, my neighbor and I watched the taping of Wait! Wait! Don’t Tell Me!

Peter Sagal didn’t look like what he did in my imagination (wha? no houndstooth knickers and peg leg? Damn). And Karl Kassel’s voice is just as wonderful in person as it is sitting in my minivan.

Sigh.

I do love a good voice. Anyhoo, the celebrity guest booked months ago couldn’t make it since he is in hiding (or kissing his wife’s ass for the rest of his miserable life).

As for the concession stand bonus question, I purchased two items (water and popcorn)! An attorney pointed out to me that Mrs. CPA’s answer that I “went to the concession stand twice” doesn’t answer the question. Point taken, Ms. Liza…I’ll see you in chambers, Mrs. CPA.

Or, I’ll just give you EACH a prize! Whooppeeeee!

Stay tuned for today’s contest! GOOD LUCK and HAPPY FRIDAY!

-image-Mother of All Holidays — Day 4 Contest

May 8, 2008 | holidays, family

Nothing like leaving my fourth contest to the last minute…but I was out for the evening with a friend at a taping for an NPR show. Wanna guess which one?

Yes, that will be the quiz. It relates to Mother’s Day because I’m a mother, as is my neighbor friend who invited me. See. There’s the connection. Neighbors can definitely have a motherly effect on our children — they watch over them, yell at them for letting the screen door slam and hand out popsicles. Lucky for me, the moms in my neighborhood rock and have been very supportive to me and other neighbors in times of need.

But back to YOUR chance to win fantastic completely non-Mother’s-Day-related prizes…

1. Which show did we attend the taping of (yes, I know I ended the sentence with a preposition. Sue me.)?
2. Who was suppose to be the special guest but couldn’t fulfill his duties?
Bonus Question: How many items did I buy at the concession stand?

That is all. Simple enough. Go to it. And now I need to go to bed only to have the Nugget wake me up 1.4 seconds after I reach REM sleep.

-image-The Mother of All Holidays — Contest 3 Winner Revealed! Can You STAND THE EXCITEMENT?

holidays, friends

So did you redeem yourself? Can you hold your head high today? Or will we have a repeat winner? I can barely contain myself!

1. Smitty currently practices mothering skillz on her (d) dog named Smitty. Yes, human Smitty tried in vain to have me ditch the nickname I gave her by naming her puppy Smitty. It didn’t work. Now there’s Smitty and Smitty Jr.

2. It will take all her strength to feed her baby these, which she hates: (a) bananas. People, my bff h.a.t.e.s bananas. In fact, she probably won’t read the explanation, because just the mere thought of the yellow fruit causes her to dry heave. And let me tell you that when some pranksters in college hid numerous bananas all over our dorm room, she freaked out…and that was before the Great FreakOut of All Time when, a month or so later, she discovered one of the bananas (which wasn’t discovered the first round of banana cleanup) in her unused purse — a gooey black glob of nastiness. Oh Lordy…I don’t think either of those boys have procreated, and tis probably because Smitty went all Buttafucco on their bananas. I’m not sure she knows how much kids like bananas. I mean, if not hers, her son’s friends…haha. Should be for some good times.

3. Smitty most likely will not name her son after any of her ex-boyfriends/hook-ups. Select the male name that still has a chance: (b) Jeb. Oh yes, she dated a guy named Slade…for like four minutes. But still.

4. I wonder if Smitty’s son will inherit his mom’s fear of (c) spiders. Well, she’d probably freak out at any of the things I listed (and I not-so-fondly almost causing me to careen off the road when she screamed bloody murder when there was a bee in my car), but she really detests spiders. I’m not sure how she feels about spider monkeys, however.

5. Once Smitty has little (see answer to #3), she should remember to drive safely, like she DIDN’T do in college, when she received a random $103 ticket for speeding through (c) Indiana. 103 is her unlucky number, because a few weeks later, Smitty and Clark (see #3) fell through a plate glass window and her share of the bill, well, you guessed it.

OK, so eliminating one contestant who knew some of the answers unfairly (SORRY Sweets), three of you had two questions correct, but MichelleZ came closest on the bonus question, so WOOT, a new winner! YAY MichelleZ of The Zoromski Chronicles! Email me your address, Michelle, at hollowsquirrel at gmail and I’ll get a prizetacular package out to you!

Thank you for playing! I’m posting yet another contest later today on another mom-related subject which will remain a mystery because I have to watch Top Chef first. And consume some oatmeal Teddy Grahams dipped in Nutella. You think I’m kidding. I couldn’t be MORE SERIOUS.

-image-The Mother of All Holidays — Day Tres

May 7, 2008 | holidays, friends

You’re back for me. You can’t give up now…you’ve come so close to winning a fabulous prize.

Ok, so Day One theme centered on my mom. Day Two had to do with tv moms. Today’s theme? Moms-to-be…yes, women who are pregnant for the first time…such as my best friend, Smitty.

Yes, Smitty, you are the STAR of this quiz (SUPERSTARRRRRR!!!!)

Let’s see what you know about my best friend and mother-to-be… (contest closes at 3pm on Thursday):

1. Smitty currently practices mothering skillz on her…
a. cat named Scooter
b. dog named Scooter
c. cat named Smitty
d. dog named Smitty

2. It will take all her strength to feed her baby these, which she hates:
a. bananas
b. green beans
c. peas
d. sweet potatoes

3. Smitty most likely will not name her son after any of her ex-boyfriends/hook-ups. Select the male name that still has a chance:
a. Clark
b. Jeb
c. Slade
d. Marty

4. I wonder if Smitty’s son will inherit his mom’s fear of…
a. bees
b. snakes
c. spiders
d. lice

5. Once Smitty has little (see answer to #3), she should remember to drive safely, like she DIDN’T do in college, when she received a hefty ticket for speeding through this state:
a. Michigan
b. Illinois
c. Indiana
d. Ohio

TIE BREAKING QUESTION: How much was the speeding ticket from question #5?

There ya go. This one was easy, right? and now you know a smidge more about my BFF, Smitty, mother-to-be! Why don’t you go ahead and wish Smitty an easy delivery and speedy recovery! I love you, Smitster! And good luck everyone else (yes, Smitty, you’re DQ’d baby…mmmm DQ).

-image-Mother of All Holidays — Day 2 Winner Revealed!

TV/movie addiction, holidays

Okie dokie…so not too many of you stuck around during my blogging drought, so that’s good for those who did, because the pool of potential winners stays small, upping your chances! Thank you loyal readers!!

Yesterday’s quiz centered around my surrogate moms, those in the land of television. All ya had to do was tell me which moms I currently watch and then answer the bonus/tie-breaker question — who’s my favorite tv mom (Carol Brady, Caroline Ingalls or Sophia Petrillo)?

Let’s take a looksee at what moms I watch on tv instead of say, sleep:

1. Joy on My Name is Earl — YES! oh snap! I totally watch this show for Joy and Darnell only. I LOVE me some Joy.

2. Amy of Little People, Big World – NEGATORY… I’ve heard only good things about this show, but I couldn’t handle getting addicted to another show, so I avoid this one (for now).

3. Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8 — Addicted! Totally. I heart each and every one of their cuties and their parents. Who doesn’t love Jon? And Kate inspires me to get over myself and make some stinkin’ dinner because if she can pull something organic and balanced together for 10 people, then I can rustle up some grub for three. Also? I love her hair.

4. Nora on Brothers & Sisters — Dude. No. 1 hour drama? I can’t get hooked on another one hour drama. Plus, Ally McBeal bugs me.

5. Alison on Medium — YEP! I lurve Joe, the husband, on this show and the show in general, even though Patricia Arquette talks tooo slooowwwly for us to be bff. I know. I’m not a bitch at all.

As for my favorite tv mom of all time, that honor goes to Ma Ingalls (just beating out the sassy Sophia. Good triumphs over sarcastic any ol’ day of the week.).

So…let’s see…three plus no bonus, carry the one… THREE of you (My Buddy Mimi! SJ (again)! and Poodle!) got everything correct, but none of you got the bonus question. Lordy, ladies, trying to make it difficult for me.

I’m going to pick out of Jojo’s hat again, since he’s napping (again! yeah! Hopefully today he stayed in bed and didn’t sneak out to play with something in his room only to fall asleep on the floor next to/under the door-stop-boing-boing thing only to wake up, and knock into the door-stop-boing-boing thing and cry cry cry because HELLO? Waking up to that would be terrifying…but I just scooped him up, whispered to him about going back to bed and (WHEW!) he fell back asleep for another 2 hours)…

I digress.

THE WINNER OF YESTERDAY’S CONTEST IS… My Buddy Mimi!!!! Congratulations, MBM, on your first win here at HollowSquirrel!

Note to SJ: I’m not going to mail your prize until I’m done awarding prizes, since you seem to have a knack for my contests!

Stay tuned for Contest #3 later today!

-image-Mother of All Holidays — Day 2 contest!

May 6, 2008 | TV/movie addiction, holidays

Oh, so you’re back for more, eh? You think you can win today’s prize? WELL, let’s see.

Today’s quiz focuses on the all important tv mom. Some of these moms are real, and some are characters. All you need to do is tell me which ones I currently watch:

1. Joy on My Name is Earl
2. Amy of Little People, Big World
3. Kate of Jon & Kate Plus 8
4. Nora on Brothers & Sisters
5. Alison on Medium

Bonus Question: Who is my favorite tv mom of all time: Mrs. Petrillo, Mrs. Brady or Ma Ingalls?

GOOD LUCK and Happy TV Mom Watching! Oh, contest open until 12 noon tomorrow (EST). YAY!