Twiddling my thumbs…

June 16, 2008 | Uncategorized

just waiting on word of Lizzy’s BABY for Pete’s sake…

hi

June 15, 2008 | Uncategorized, The Nugget

that is all.

It was better than CATS

June 13, 2008 | TV/movie addiction

but then again, what isn’t better than a bunch of grown adults sliding around on their knees?

Yes, I’m back from Sex and the City, and I must say, I LOVED IT. LOVED IT and makes me all whiney about why the series had to end. Can’t we just regroup and shoot again, ladies? Or maybe I should just rewatch the DVDs then switch over to Golden Girls reruns? (Charlotte = Rose, Blanche = Samantha, and Carrie = Sophia or Dorothy? That would leave Miranda as Sophia or Dorothy? I’m not sure. I’m leaning towards Carrie as Dorothy and Miranda as Sophia only because she has more snappy sass to her. I need to map this out.)

I went with three girlfriends, and just as it happens, my closest friend and I sat on opposite ends of the group, and throughout I kept leaning forward to catch her eye… in the dark… during a movie. I told her after I had to sit beside her next time, and then she made some sassy quip about separation anxiety. I called her a douchebag and all is better. Also next time? I don’t need to order the medium sized popcorn feedbag. Just the small sized feedbag should suffice.

Details, details

June 12, 2008 | Jojo, Those Pesky Kids, The Nugget

It seemed so clear to me, but then again, I was the one being sprayed in the head with hose water while sitting on the toilet in my house. So let me clear things up for ya on this and other random happenings around the Squirrel house.

The Toilet Incident — yes, the bathroom window was open. The little girl next door and her friend were playing with the hose and accidentally sprayed our house at the same time I was in mid-trou-drop. Forced water + screened window + my head = wet slap in the face. Oh well. I laughed it off until I heard the friend tell the girl next door that she wanted to purposefully spray our house. Thankfully, our little neighbor stepped up and said “no, we can’t do that” and redirected her friend to spray something else. Look at her stepping up to peer pressure and taking a page from SuperNanny! I thanked her the next day and gave her a rice krispie treat.

No, I didn’t make rice krispie treats…remember that 9×13 pan I was wondering if I’d get returned? Well ding dong it returned FILLED with the formerly hated treats. Oh yes, I never liked them growing up because
a. my mom never baked them because
b. they don’t contain chocolate and
c. dessert = chocolate, so therefore
d. rice krispies are for people who don’t know what dessert is THEREFORE
e. they must suck ass

Boy, was I wrong. Oooooh how my life could have turned out differently had I enjoyed the crispy yet sticky yet gooey yet yummy deliciousness of the wronged treat. I ate a good 1/3 of the pan before I gave two smallish squares away. Oops. I’m not sure I can make it through the evening without another cut. Just. one. more.

LL Cool Jojo — What with the ridiculous heat and lack of good airconditioning, we’ve found ourselves out at restaurants for many a meal. Every time we find ourselves with a waitress, Jojo charms them with his tooth grins and many “thank you nice lady”s and eventually ends with this line, complete with emphatic hand gestures: “come over to my house next week.” We’re not sure where he gets the “next week” idea… does he see the kitchen calendar filled with playdates or is he just careful of double booking the ladies?

Jojo’s black eye – wow, kids are resilient. The black-purple-blue-green-yellow eye has almost completely vanished, and he’s stopped telling stories of how the fire truck came to fix his broken head. Perhaps we should take him to get re-evaluated, since no fire truck was called. Oh my little dramatic boy. Honey, we’ll get you ice cream even if you were taken to the ER in a 13 year old Toyota Corolla.

The Nugget – still growing. Still super stinkin’ cute. Still pooping every 8 days or so. How does this happen? I don’t know, but I’ve been assured this is not abnormal. For babies. I mean, can you imagine not pooping for 8 days?

Oh if only we’d videotaped it.

June 9, 2008 | Those Pesky Kids

I’m positive with a little pixel manipulation to fuzz out my crotch and ass, the video of me being sprayed in the head with our neighbor’s hose while on the toilet could have fetched us $100,000. Oh yes. I just got sprayed IN THE FRICKING HEAD INSIDE MY FRICKING HOUSE by the neighbor kid’s friend. WHILE SITTING ON THE TOILET.

I can’t make this shit up.

I’m back

blog business

like a bad rash!

Gee, that was fun! What happened, you ask?

Well, let’s see… Mr. Squirrel’s Dutch cousin emailed us on Thursday with this informative message about our family website:

Hi there!
I was just looking at your website to see if there were some new pictures. But when the site opened it showed a horrible picture, scary music and a text saying the site is hacked. I don’t know if its my computer or something might be wrong with your website. You might wanna take a look at it…

So I log in and holy baloney. She wasn’t kidding.

Both our family and my blog had been hacked (they’re connected. It’s complex. Well, it’s probably not, but let my husband explain it to you.).

The page my husband’s cousin and some other unfortunate visitors saw will likely stay with them a long time. I know I can’t forget what I saw nor heard. The accompanying morbid music which played alongside the disgusting and disturbing photograph of war-savaged corpses sent chills down my back and made me sick.

I know the hacker attack wasn’t personal. They didn’t target me, per se, directly. They attacked my site, I’m guessing from their anti-American message, because they found an ‘in’ to my site, and I’m an American, so (weee!) let’s post a picture of bloated corpses and what? Get your message out? To whom? The four people, tops, who saw it before it was removed? What was the point? I’m not sure. I’m not spreading their message (it was more detailed than “america sux!”), and I haven’t been moved by their scare tactics to switch “sides?”

Still, I can’t express how upsetting the experience was for me. I didn’t even let my closest blog friends know about it until after I contacted our site hosting company to take down both of our sites. I didn’t want them to see it (even though I was going to warn them NOT to go to my blog…I know how it is when you want to see what you shouldn’t see) and be sickened as well.

All I do know is that
1. I don’t know much about my hosting company or WordPress
2. I know even less about the files needed for my blog to function
3. there is some creeepy music out there
4. I don’t enjoy corpses
5. hackers can suck my butt
6. If you know of anyone up for helping me to secure my WordPress blog, I’d be happy to talk to them
7. I’m glad to have my blog back.

If you were one of the few to see the hacked frontpage, I apologize. Thanks for taking a chance and returning here.

Kicked While Down

June 4, 2008 | Jojo, Mr. Squirrel

After the fun morning that was the local ER, Jojo took a long nap and woke up in a spankin’ good mood. YAY. He pulled on his green froggy boots and announced we should go outside. I cracked open the window, so we could hear the Nugget and we headed just outside said window to kick around some balls, yell at the neighbor kids and dig in the dirt.

All was good - I took one zillion pictures of Jojo running, futzing around with the different settings. Jojo running…well, I just heart these pictures (now would be a good time to upload one but I’m too tired. good for nothing lazy blogger. I’ll just do the criticizing for you.).

Then Mr. Squirrel came home. Jojo squealed. Mommy thanked her stars. The Nugget slept on.

Mr. Squirrel and Jojo continued to play in the front yard while I attempted to pull together dinner from the pathetic grocery items in our refrigerator. I ventured back outside to ask a question JUST AS…

Mr. Squirrel kicked a hard plastic ball right into Jojo’s eye. Jojo’s left eye. The poor little black and blue eye that already sported a cut on its eyelid. That now has a cut on top of the bruise.

UGH. If Jojo asked for a friggin pony, I think Mr. Squirrel would have bought him one. He feels soooo bad.

Attention to Detail

random randomness

If you get Parents magazine, did you catch the inaccurate photo related to the story on returning items to stores? They suggested stapling the receipt to the price tag (until you decide whether or not to keep the item). Great idea. However, don’t then include a photo of a Children’s Place tshirt attached to a Target gift receipt? Come on. It drove me nuts. I noticed it right away.

Also? Don’t leave the room for one second to throw away a wrapper, leaving your toddler to fall off the couch fort and bonk his eye so bad you end up in the ER. Yeah, I’m good. Jojo is FINE…just looks roughed up.

Dic this, beyotch.

June 3, 2008 | bitterness, random randomness

I just made up a word. I think. I haven’t checked with lexicon lawyers or those addicted to Scrabble, but check it: scugly. As in Scary ugly. This hideous thing served as my muse.

Check your local di
wait.
stop.

It’s on urban dictionary dot god damn com. Not that I’m bitter. Like Bitter Ugly.

Bitugly. YES, now that’s going to sweep the nation. Just you wait…

Who’s the Mole?

TV/movie addiction, random randomness

WELL, if you have any guesses, don’t tell me because I forgot to watch the season premiere last night because I thought it was June 1, not June 2. Yes, I’m a frigging moron.

And for those of you scratching your head and wondering what is “The Mole?” Well, it’s only my favorite reality tv show Of. All. Time. that is back (even though Anderson Cooper no longer hosts…wah).

I’m going to try to catch up on abc.com (hopefully). You should, too!

Also. Question: how long do I have to wait until I call the New Mom to get my glass baking pan back?